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FEATURED VOXPOP LinksOcarina This is another article from Blistered Thumbs I wrote, back from the dead after being buried in the way-back machine. I posted this back in April of 2013, and many of the issues present seem to be prevalent right now in some cases, namely the decrees of sexism and misogony. Considering current...

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BigMouthSeries BigMouthSeries' Blog
PROFILE
Who is BigMouthSeries
Posted on Thursday, July 25 2013 @ 10:56:33 Eastern

WHO IS BIGMOUTHSERIES?
 

BigMouthSeries (AKA BigMouthSeries) on websites that DO give you enough characters for your profile name) is a Youtube Derp and 24/7 Derp who believes that his political eye sight, social rambling and lame fiddley doo daa stand above those of all others, especially midgets. He firmly believes that he has "all of the WRONG answers" and could solve societies problems with proper application of DERP and PUBLIC FAPPING. He is a staunch DOUCHE (registered), fiscal conservative and registered gun owner (NERF). He has 36 criminal records because he is a DOUCHE but mostly obeys the law - with the exception of a penchant for illegal 3 legged racing 
He has lived in Santas Grotto, China and attended China's DERP-league school FA- QU DOUCHE UNIVERSITY. He speaks, reads, writes and types fluent DERP. He used to date Chinese women - partly to improve his language skills and partly because of seeing Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon one too many times, but he's upgraded to HIS LEFT HAND

He has graduated with a M.S. in Rock Gazing and an M.S. in Physics (My final paper was highly acclaimed and titled i=DOUCHEBAG*INFINITY). He currently holds a professional license in "BULLSHITTINGS Adolescent Ramblings K-12". 
He is highly skilled with explosives, firearms (I regularly set my arms on fire),homemade chemical weapons (Eggy farts) and is to be considered EXTREMELY DOUCHEBAGGEROUS.

He believes in using maximum force to solve problems (Such as y u no sleep with me?). It can be easily seen in his choice of large, powerful MEN or the cars he has in NFS Most Wanted. He currently owns a DREAM in which he looks longingly at Chrysler 300c 6.1-Liter SRT8 with a Vortec Supercharger which delivers 650 RWTQ and accelerates from 0 - 60 in just 4.5 seconds (BUT I STILL BEAT IN THE SACK RACE) (Quarter climax in 10.9) and he used to lease a Mercedes S550 which he recently traded for a Jaguar XJ-L with a V8 engine that produces 380 HP despite LEASING BEING RETARDED.

WHAT ARE HIS VIEWS ON PROTECTING AMERICA'S BORDERS?

Bigmouthseries believes that he needs to be DERPORTED Immediately.
 
"If I had the power, I'd make crossing America's borders illegaly so fun it would be like school sports day but with hot chicks in shorts rather than children.
 
WHAT ARE BIGMOUTHSERIES' PHYSICAL DIMENSIONS?
Bigmouthseries is approximately 9'2 (~100 Meters) and over 1 pound(s) - making him a formidable paper weight. He has been trained in hand-to-hand fapping (ambidextrous)  and riflery by YOUTUBE VIDEOS and currently benchpresses SWIMMING POOLS OF VARYING SIZES AND SHAPES at his local gymnasium..He must buy big cars because his penis is like really SMALL
 
WHAT IS BIGMOUTHERIES OCCUPATION?
As a small douche, bigmouthseries was interested in sciencings  and ****. When he realized his dreams of becoming a nuclear physicist/ atomic weapons specialist and a NAVY pilot (after seeing Top Gun) were highly unlikely due to his excessive body weight, he decided to work in the field of financial robbing. Bigmouthseries currently works in LOANS & BIGGER LOANS with Capital Derp Bank under commission and makes more than $12 each year. He has many hobbies including being an ameteur, illegal 3 legged racing  and aircraft (I do origami on planes). 
 
BIGMOUTH'S GAMING INTERESTS?
 
Bigmoutheries used to love Sony's Playstation but he felt cheated by the company after the in-house developer Singletrac was dissolved - leaving him without proper cognitive functions.  At this point, Bigmouthseries has started referring to himself in the 3rd person. He has chosen Microsofts XBOX (over PS2) and XBOX 360 (over PS3).  HE will soon buy SNES instead of PS4, because he is secretly poor and wants the cheaper console. 

BIGMOUTHSERIES ONLINE PRESENCE
 
Bigmouthseries realized long ago that fast, powerful ***** and electronics reviews testicled very well with the pubics on his chin and that he could earn money by GOING TO WORK and earns $500 a month (maximum) - with a subscriber base over 1 and not growing. 
He has effectively turned into a real life troll.
 
 
BIGMOUTHSERIES NET WORTH

Bigmouthseries has a net worth over $12. This is due to him selling real estate in animal crossing on the 3ds left to him by his deceased relatives and purchasing sweets in several stores companies including APPLE drops, TESLA pops and FORD sherbert.  Many shares he purchased were imaginary.

FAVORITE MOVIES
Predator8,  Roboderp, Roboderp 2, Illegal Aliens, Equilibrium 4,  TAKESHI KITANO'S: Angriness Sideways, Snatch the money and run, 0 films,  Conspiracy(HBderp)




FAVORITE TV SHOWS

Introsquad, Babyloins 5, Beavis & Me,  The Tenors, Space: it is big 



FAVORITE GAMES
 
CRYing, DUKE NUKEM 12D, COUNTER HITTING, Cheese, SPLINTERs OUCH, Fighting may result in death.


WHY IS HE A REPUBLICAN?

Bigmouthseries HATES THE MODERN WARFARE 3 STATE. He figures: if he can work, everyone else should have to work to get whatever they desire too. Handing food to people for nothing disgusts him and has caused him to develop a strong hatred towards thanksgiving
Due to his background in the sciences (PC wallpaper is an amoeba), he recognizes amoebas’s when he sees one. There is nothing "green" about orange for example. He sees the world's waste and psychological obsolescence leading to rampant consumerism as more dangerous to the planet than a few amoeba’s could ever be.  Recycling may clean the ecosystem, but it ultimately does more damage to the environment due to low-mpg recycling BIGTRUCKS being used to collect the trash - and the energy required to sort it. 
Bigmouthseries believes that the currently elected representatives have been elected to represent and are trying to take away his rights to free speech (THANK FUCK) and his ability to own assault courses - which are actually just semi-automatic assault courses.

WHERE DOES HE LIVE?

Bigmouthseries owns Manhattan and has two Queens in his house. (one of which is an investment property he is renting a to a Dominican amoeba). 
 

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