TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CONSOLE WARS
Posted on Tuesday, December 24 2013 @ 19:43:09 Eastern
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE "CONSOLE WARS" - by BIGTRUCKSERIESREVIEW
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
The sounds of gunfire - with each click of the mouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that XBOX 1 and PS4 soon would appear
The children should have been nestled and snug in their beds
But their negligent parents forgot to give them their meds
Mamma stripped naked, with dad's head in her lap
quietly preparing for that booty to be tapped
Arguments soon to come about which system is better
Sales figures comparisons - a fanboy's vendetta
GDDR5 vs. DDR3, what difference does it make til exclusives we see?
Kinect is better than PS4's cam
I can talk to my system, but PS4 can't
Xbox "watch Fox", "snap to apps", "record that" ,
And what have you got? But a crappy game called "Knack"?
Killzone fizzled out like a bad fart
No one cares it exists - PS4's off to a poor start.
You should trade it in for an XBOX ONE console today
Or consider your money spent has been well pissed away.
Before you succumb to the blue light of death...
...or your HDMI port breathes it's last breath.
You installed the 1.5 update, but the system demands you install it again.
all you'll get from XBOX owners is a wide slotted grin.
The poor PS4 owners go on forums to complain
Reminds me of the PS3's launch all over again.
for the first year of it's launch it was a big paperweight.
No games to speak of - exclusives arriving too late.
Anti Aliasing issues and Yellow lights of fail
Sequels of games on PS2 that had already grown stale.
Yes - XBOX had the Red ring of Death
But Microsoft recovered right away from whence it left.
You think "The Last of Us" and "Metal Gear" make you strong?
If you buy into that crap you are all oh so wrong.
But in fairness PS4 isn't as bad as Nintendo Wii...
Or should I say WiiU? Makes no difference to me.
Nintendo shouldn't be saved from going under.
Next to Virtual Boy it's yet another blunder.
This isn't a real console war by any stretch of the imagination.
Unlike when SEGA employees were sent on permanent vacation.
I need to see real conflict and heads rolling down flights
I want to see advertisements rolling on all night.
I want to see fear and panic in boardrooms
I want to see firings and bankruptcies follow too
I demand the best most competitive product
I demand gore in my shooters: more blood, more gut.
They don't have the balls to make another soldier of fortune.
Just more CoD clones: press (a) not to be tortured
This isn't a "war" - just a bunch of corporate suits
using microtransactions to suck money from you.
You don't have the stones to tell your kids "no"
They get $400 video games with no grades to show.
You bought it just to keep them out of your hair
while you suck down a mixture of polluted Chinese air.
China doesn't allow their people to buy this stuff in mass
so they don't become as dumb as an American *******.
While America slips to 20th place in science and math
they keep us lining up for video games and iPad.
All we are is a number to them
another mindless tool with a dime to spend
tracking our sex, our purchase history and age
Americans at this point should be filled with rage
But you're so unhappy YOU ENJOY this all
wasting time and money plodding up and down the mall
filling your lives with worthless plastic wrapped in plastic
but please o please don't do anything drastic
It's hard enough turining on the news each day
without hearing about the latest mass slay
All I want is for people to wake up and revolt
against the liars in congress giving their salaries a jolt
Bane stormed Blackgate - my revolution shall be from the comfort of mine own home.
I'll rely on able bodied people with nothing to lose to get the job done.
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WHO THE F*** IS BIGTRUCKSERIES?
Posted on Thursday, July 11 2013 @ 07:26:45 Eastern
WHO IS BIGTRUCKSERIES?
Bigtruckseriesreview (AKA Bigtruckseries on websites that don't give you enough characters for your profile name) is a Youtube personality and 24/7 internet troll who believes that his political views, social commentary and interests stand above those of all others. He firmly believes that he has "all of the answers" and could solve societies problems with proper application of force and terror. He is a staunch Republican (registered), fiscal conservative and registered gun owner (NRA). He has no criminal record because he obeys the nation's laws - with the exception of a penchant for illegal street racing.
He has lived in Shang Hai, China and attended China's ivy-league school FU DAN UNIVERSITY. He speaks, reads, writes and types Chinese. He used to date Chinese women - partly to improve his language skills and partly because of seeing Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon one too many times, but he's upgraded to White girls with hourglass bodies and fatasses.
He has graduated with a M.S. in Geology and an M.S. in Physics. He currently holds a professional license in "Science: Adolescent Education K-12".
He is highly skilled with explosives, firearms, homemade chemical weapons and is to be considered EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.
He believes in using maximum force to solve problems. It can be easily seen in his choice of large, powerful SUV's or the cars he drives. He currently owns a Chrysler 300c 6.1-Liter SRT8 with a Vortec Supercharger which delivers 650 RWTQ and accelerates from 0 - 60 in just 4.5 seconds (Quarter mile in 10.9) and he used to lease a Mercedes S550 which he recently traded for a Jaguar XJ-L with a V8 engine that produces 380 HP.
WHAT ARE HIS VIEWS ON PROTECTING AMERICA'S BORDERS?
Bigtruckseries believes that the government is not serious about protecting the borders of the country. If he had control, he would quickly set up land mines, automated turrets, predator drones, Active denial "pain beams" and automated rocket launchers to protect his country from narco terrorists and assorted terrorists from the middle east attempting to sneak in through Canada and Mexico. Bigtruckseries is anti-war because he believes a constant state of war weakens his country economically, but he is willing to invest in SPACE WARFARE: i.e. spacecraft capable of missile defense/particle beam offense using weapons developed by DARPA.
"If I had the power, I'd make crossing AMerica's borders illegaly so dangerous it would be like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan"
WHAT ARE BIGTRUCKSERIES' PHYSICAL DIMENSIONS?
Bigtruckseries is approximately 6'6 (~2 Meters) and over 300 pounds - making him a formidable adversary. He has been trained in hand-to-hand combat and riflery by Valley Forge Military Academy and currently benchpresses 400 pounds at his local gymnasium. He must buy big cars because he's too tall for most.
WHAT IS BIGTRUCKSERIES OCCUPATION?
As a small boy, bigtruckseries was interested in science and military/aviation. When he realized his dreams of becoming a nuclear physicist/ atomic weapons specialist and a NAVY pilot (after seeing Top Gun) were highly unlikely, he decided to work in the field of financial services. Bigtruckseries currently works in mortgages/loans with Capital One Bank under commission and makes more than $150,000 each year. He has many hobbies including ameteur shooting, illegal street racing and aircraft.
BIGTRUCK'S GAMING INTERESTS?
Bigtruckseries used to love Sony's Playstation but he felt cheated by the company after the in-house developer Singletrac was dissolved - leaving him without a proper sequel to his favorite game WARHAWK (PS1). At this point, Bigtruckseries has become virulently anti-SONY and has chosen Microsofts XBOX (over PS2) and XBOX 360 (over PS3). HE will soon buy XBOX1 instead of PS4, because he considers SONY an inferior company with an inferior product. It also doesn't help that the controllers are too small for his massive, powerful hands - and he therefore chooses Microsoft's larger controllers with their arguably better positioned left thumb stick.
BIGTRUCKSERIES ONLINE PRESENCE
Bigtruckseries realized long ago that fast, powerful cars and electronics reviews tested very well with the public and that he could earn money on shopping dot com and youtube by posting videos involving guns, cars and electronics. He currently operates a Youtube channel that has almost reached 3 million views and earns him $500 a month (minimum) - with a subscriber base over 1500 and growing.
He has effectively turned trolling into real-world cash in ways that not even pyramid schemes such as "Pre Paid Legal" and "World Ventures" could have ever dreamed.
BIGTRUCKSERIES NET WORTH
Bigtruckseries has a net worth over $750,000. This is due to him selling real estate left to him by his deceased relatives and purchasing stock in several companies including APPLE, TESLA and FORD MOTORS. Many shares he purchased were during the financial collapse between 2006 and 2008. Along with his partners, he has seen gains previously unheard of in the market.
Predator, Predator2, Robocop, Robocop 2, Aliens, Equilibrium, TAKESHI KITANO'S: Outrage, Outrage Beyond, Brother, Zatoichi, Violent Cop. Sideways, Snatch, 007 films, Conspiracy(HBO)
FAVORITE TV SHOWS
Exosquad Babylon 5, Beavis & Butthead, Teknoman, The Sopranos, Space: Above & Beyond,
CRYSIS, DUKE NUKEM 3D, COUNTER STRIKE, Chess, SPLINTER CELL, MORTAL KOMBAT
WHY IS HE A REPUBLICAN?
Bigtruckseries HATES THE MODERN WELFARE STATE. He figures: if he can work, everyone else should have to work to get whatever they desire too. Handing checks to people for nothing disgusts him and has caused him to develop a strong hatred towards democrats and liberals supporting the welfare state.
Due to his background in the sciences, he recognizes liberal propaganda when he sees it. There is nothing "green" about electric cars for example. He sees the world's waste and psychological obsolescence leading to rampant consumerism as more dangerous to the planet than a few SUVs could ever be. Recycling may clean the ecosystem, but it ultimately does more damage to the environment due to low-mpg recycling trucks being used to collect the trash - and the energy required to sort it.
Bigtruckseries believes that the currently elected representatives DO NOT BELIEVE IN THE CONSTITUTION and are trying to take away his rights to free speech and his ability to own assault rifles - which are actually just semi-automatic long rifles.
WHERE DOES HE LIVE?
Bigtruckseries owns an apartment in Manhattan and two houses in Queens, NY (one of which is an investment property he is renting a to a Dominican couple.
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