TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CONSOLE WARS
Posted on Tuesday, December 24 2013 @ 19:43:09 PST
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE "CONSOLE WARS" - by BIGTRUCKSERIESREVIEW
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
The sounds of gunfire - with each click of the mouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that XBOX 1 and PS4 soon would appear
The children should have been nestled and snug in their beds
But their negligent parents forgot to give them their meds
Mamma stripped naked, with dad's head in her lap
quietly preparing for that booty to be tapped
Arguments soon to come about which system is better
Sales figures comparisons - a fanboy's vendetta
GDDR5 vs. DDR3, what difference does it make til exclusives we see?
Kinect is better than PS4's cam
I can talk to my system, but PS4 can't
Xbox "watch Fox", "snap to apps", "record that" ,
And what have you got? But a crappy game called "Knack"?
Killzone fizzled out like a bad fart
No one cares it exists - PS4's off to a poor start.
You should trade it in for an XBOX ONE console today
Or consider your money spent has been well pissed away.
Before you succumb to the blue light of death...
...or your HDMI port breathes it's last breath.
You installed the 1.5 update, but the system demands you install it again.
all you'll get from XBOX owners is a wide slotted grin.
The poor PS4 owners go on forums to complain
Reminds me of the PS3's launch all over again.
for the first year of it's launch it was a big paperweight.
No games to speak of - exclusives arriving too late.
Anti Aliasing issues and Yellow lights of fail
Sequels of games on PS2 that had already grown stale.
Yes - XBOX had the Red ring of Death
But Microsoft recovered right away from whence it left.
You think "The Last of Us" and "Metal Gear" make you strong?
If you buy into that crap you are all oh so wrong.
But in fairness PS4 isn't as bad as Nintendo Wii...
Or should I say WiiU? Makes no difference to me.
Nintendo shouldn't be saved from going under.
Next to Virtual Boy it's yet another blunder.
This isn't a real console war by any stretch of the imagination.
Unlike when SEGA employees were sent on permanent vacation.
I need to see real conflict and heads rolling down flights
I want to see advertisements rolling on all night.
I want to see fear and panic in boardrooms
I want to see firings and bankruptcies follow too
I demand the best most competitive product
I demand gore in my shooters: more blood, more gut.
They don't have the balls to make another soldier of fortune.
Just more CoD clones: press (a) not to be tortured
This isn't a "war" - just a bunch of corporate suits
using microtransactions to suck money from you.
You don't have the stones to tell your kids "no"
They get $400 video games with no grades to show.
You bought it just to keep them out of your hair
while you suck down a mixture of polluted Chinese air.
China doesn't allow their people to buy this stuff in mass
so they don't become as dumb as an American *******.
While America slips to 20th place in science and math
they keep us lining up for video games and iPad.
All we are is a number to them
another mindless tool with a dime to spend
tracking our sex, our purchase history and age
Americans at this point should be filled with rage
But you're so unhappy YOU ENJOY this all
wasting time and money plodding up and down the mall
filling your lives with worthless plastic wrapped in plastic
but please o please don't do anything drastic
It's hard enough turining on the news each day
without hearing about the latest mass slay
All I want is for people to wake up and revolt
against the liars in congress giving their salaries a jolt
Bane stormed Blackgate - my revolution shall be from the comfort of mine own home.
I'll rely on able bodied people with nothing to lose to get the job done.