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A Few Wild Guesses about 2008
Posted on Wednesday, January 2 2008 @ 12:25:36 Eastern

With 2007 behind us now, the world and gamers begin anew in 2008. Now, I know that I am not exactly Plato or Nietzsche, but I have a few ideas about what will happen in 2008 for gamers, game makers, and major corporations.

Jack Thompson will develop a deadly Ulcer in March.
With the release of Spore in early March, everyone’s favorite lawyer will rise again this year to attack the evolutionary gameplay of Spore on the basis that it is heretical and offensive to Christians. While he is doing all this moving around the stick wedged ever so firmly up his ass will begin to irritate and tear a hole in his stomach, which will further be bothered by stress and a rise in blood pressure after yet another judge tells him he is wrong. Again.

Game developers will begin to publish games for Mac.
With more and more trendy folk going out and buying their culturally cool Macs, game makers will have no choice but to start releasing games for Macs alongside Windows. Although Windows can already be run on a Mac, life will be much easier for gamers without the skills to do so with a moderate interest in gaming.

Microsoft will continue to sit on the Mechwarrior series.
It’s been six years since a honest to god Mechwarrior game has been out for PC (forget MechAssault), with books still being written in the new Dark Age series with a successful tabletop game, millions of fans still eagerly waiting for something. However, due to the lack of support for the much touted Games for Windows in favor of Halo mania, desktop Mech-Jocks will be left alone and cold another long year.

Duke Ferris will be knighted, show the queen “his” Jewels.
Why not?

Best Buy and Circuit City will phase out PC games.
With the vast majority of PC games available for download in one way or another, the big electronic companies will abandon already dismal sales of PC games in favor of more space for Macs, Consoles, and other products. Gamers who love solid, tangible copies of their games will be forced to go to GameStop or EB games, who rips open the game and removes the inners (including CD-codes), a dirty business practice.

More MMORPGs will be released and fail by 2009.
Lets face it, the majority of MMORPGs out there just cannot compete with World of Warcraft. Hellgate: London and Tabula Rasa are already on shaky legs, only Guild Wars 2 has a chance against the WoW Juggarnaught.

The sale of monster gaming rigs and uber-machines will slowly wither away.
With the last big computer game, Crysis, doing terrible in sales because of the high graphics specs required to play the game and the lack of interest, most people will be content sitting at home with there old machines playing WoW or current Steam games released years ago (Counterstrike anyone?). Upgrades will be few and far between, with only minor changes to memory and graphic cards to play the few exclusive games coming out on PC.

Shigeru Miyamoto will be Sainted.
Definitely

It is a modest list of eight for 2008, but I firmly believe the end is near for Jack Thompson, big PC rigs, PC games, the Queen of England and Mechwarrior. While some of that may be good for some, bad for another, everyone wins because Jacky Jack Thompson will be gone.
Comments
  • thetank
    thetank

    Joined: Jul 2006
    Posted: Jan 4th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
    O Great Seer, your will be done one Earth.
  • StandardStache
    StandardStache

    Joined: Nov 2007
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2008 at 1:42 am
    Good call on all accounts, and I believe you are spot-on about Jack Thompson. He's run out of legs to stand on.
  • PsychoSavager
    PsychoSavager

    Joined: Mar 2007
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2008 at 5:03 am
    My prediction: A new console by a new company will be hinted at for the 8th generation, such as the "Mac iThing" or the "Toshiba PlayBoxGameStation"
  • thetank
    thetank

    Joined: Jul 2006
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2008 at 7:39 am
    Hey, StandardStache, you may be right about that, but I'd be willing to bet (knowing the number of enemies the guy can make) that Jack Thompson will have more than enough fence posts wedged up his cornhole that he'll be able to use them as a tripod (or quadrupod, pentapod, I could go on for a while), and more than make up for his lack of legs. Possibly the most amusing mental picture I've ever had. He could put roller-blades on them, and use one of the many spares to fashion an oar, and gradually row his way back into another pointless lawsuit that will do nothing more than further destroy any remaining shreds of credibility he has left.
  • thetank
    thetank

    Joined: Jul 2006
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2008 at 7:43 am
    Alternatively, PsychoSavager, Nintendo will develop a gaming robot to hold your Wiimote and Nunchuk, that you control through an ordinary keyboard, which stands in your living room, and plays Wiiplay on your behalf. Probably provide more stimulating conversation than most of us receive as well.
  • PsychoSavager
    PsychoSavager

    Joined: Mar 2007
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
    When Duke gets knighted, will he become "Sir Duke Ferris" or "The Duke of Ferris"?
  • thetank
    thetank

    Joined: Jul 2006
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
    Sir Duke Ferris. The Duke of Ferris would go to a man living in a province called Ferris.
  • thetank
    thetank

    Joined: Jul 2006
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
    Said man would have to be of nobility, second in peerage to the immediate monarchy. So while being a Duke is a higher honour, being Knighted is way cooler.
  • Hawk_one
    Hawk_one

    Joined: Sep 2006
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
    You forgot this predictions: The silliness of the "console wars" will not end, since we're not yet received huntin licences for fanboys. Nintendo will release more party games. Duke Nukem Forever will not be released. I will probably buy either a DS or an X360. More Sam&Max episodes will be the one thing to keep me at the PC playing.
  • thetank
    thetank

    Joined: Jul 2006
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
    I can see it now. Thousands of gamers take to the streets, clutching their modified Wii-zappers, hunting in packs, in two-by-two cover formation, to prevent ambush by the schools of fanboys, known for their heightened aggression when confronted...
  • Odbarc
    Odbarc

    Joined: Apr 2007
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
    SC2 release date will be announced, then pushed back. :-: Duke Ferris will show the Queen her jewels THEN get knighted. :-: PS3 sales will spike... (up or down). :-: I already play only the older games because the "awesome graphics" games fail to be as fun, as long, or as unique as anything else we've already done. Remakes of good games will boom (improved graphics on top of fun old games. Obviously!) :-: GR account "TheUglyKitten" will win this year's GR prize 'just for logging in'. :-: Jack Thompson uses Wii to learn how to become effective killer, ineffectively kills, commits suicide... survives.
  • Eyebrowsbv31
    Eyebrowsbv31

    Joined: Nov 2005
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
    And I completely forgot to mention that Sal Magicpants will win the 2008 election. Which one I do not know.
  • thetank
    thetank

    Joined: Jul 2006
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
    I wonder how Jack would manage that. Probably some large elaborate scheme involving giant dominoes, a rubber chicken, a set of silverware, the drum from an old clothes-dryer, and the collective disillusionment of Generation X. I might go and construct a replica, and post a video on YouTube...

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