More Reviews
REVIEWS Loadout Review
What do you really expect of a shooter these days? Loadout probably already has it somewhere in gobs of gameplay, but you won’t hear me saying it’s worth your time.

Dokuro (PC) Review
Dokuro makes the jump from handheld to PC, but does it help or hinder this unusual platformer?
More Previews
PREVIEWS Magicka 2 Preview
How does that sing-along song go? "Magicka 2, Magicka 2, for the Playstation 4, and the PC, too..."
Release Dates
NEW RELEASES Persona 5
Release date: 12/31/14

Motorcycle Club
Release date: 01/01/15

Atelier Ayesha Plus: The Alchemist of Dusk
Release date: 01/14/15

Saints Row: Gat out of Hell
Release date: 01/20/15


LATEST FEATURES GameRevolution's Top 25 Xbox 360 Games - 2014 Edition
Pull yourself away from that Xbox One for a few minutes and join us as we look back on some of the very best games that graced Microsoft's last-gen console.

Yakuza 5: Good Game With a Few Pacing Problems [Hands-on Preview]
I like this, but will others be OK with the change?
MOST POPULAR FEATURES GameRevolution’s PlayStation Store Holiday Gamer Guide
Looking to download a few classics for your PlayStation hardware over the holidays? Save money, stay inside where it’s warm, and get by with these downloadable games.

LEADERBOARD
Read More Member Blogs
FEATURED VOXPOP ryanbates
Gamer Love
By ryanbates
Posted on 12/19/14
When a player one meets his or her player two, it's a beautiful thing. Check out this cake my friend and GameRevolution reader Lindsey L. gave her sweetums on their two-year anniversary!   ...

MEMBER BLOG

Jcampbell Jcampbell's Blog
PROFILE
Average Blog Rating:
[ Back to All Posts ]
Computer Diagnosis
Posted on Wednesday, November 11 2009 @ 09:38:13 Eastern

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."

 

comments powered by Disqus