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Welcome Back to the West
By oneshotstop
Posted on 08/01/16
The only thing that stops the dust is the rain. It’s a sweet reprieve, but there is no middle ground. The land is either as dry as the Betty Ford clinic, or as wet as the ocean floor. Everything can be seen from the ridge overlooking Armadillo as John Marston gently bounces along atop...


Sammo Sammo's Blog
How to Not Suck at Starcraft II
Posted on Tuesday, July 27 2010 @ 07:43:27 PST

If you play PC games, you likely have just bought or are planning to buy Starcraft II. Congratulations! Over the next few days you will undoubtedly enjoy an epic single-player campaign featuring beautifully rendered future spacemen in fierce battle with several honorable and/or unsettlingly moist aliens. You may also delve into ranked online play on Blizzard's ladder, where you will likely be manhandled in a series of five-minute matches in which you are verbally abused by your opponent (“ Of course I'm a 'n00b,' this came out yesterday!!”) and ordered to leave the game. You may even have a moment of apprehension in which you realize you suck at Starcraft.  It's OK though, we all do.  Some of us just suck less. 

The fact is that, like the whole of the internet, is a cruel and merciless place. With the launch of SC2 many are presumably diving in for the first time or returning after a long hiatus only to be horrified at how much they apparently suck at videogames. Though the days downloadable “insta-kill” hacks are long gone, can still be a daunting place for a sweet and innocent little newcomer. As both a stalwart veteran of the RTS genre and someone who has ruined his Tuesday playing SC2 online all night, I thought I might do the world a service by providing a quick primer for Starcraft II's online component. In order to suck less and occasionally win a game online, you need to follow these two simple though often overlooked guiding principles:

A) Play fast

If you can build a bigger, stronger army than your opponent in less time, your army will probably win. If you can make your units stop doing dumb stuff faster than your opponent, again you'll probably win.

B) Play smart

Remember the “S” in RTS stands for Strategy, so use your brain. No matter how fast a player is with one particular strategy, there is always an answer to counter it. If your opponent builds a huge army of melee-only ground units, you can steamroll them with a small handful of fliers. If you can recognize what your opponent is doing and counter their strategy, you'll probably win.

Unfortunately, “be fast and smart” isn't the most practical advice, so here are some tips to actually help you become faster and smarter:

How to play fast:

Know how to get started

If you have a good idea of what kind of preliminary army works for you, you can spend your time building that army instead of scratching your chin considering your options. Remember your opponent is constantly building, so to stand a chance you need to also.

Don't sit

Never let your stuff stand still. Your army and base should always be doing work. Even if you're not ready to attack, you can scout the map to gain valuable intel or make annoying little guerrilla attacks to distract your opponent. While your units are off doing their work, remember you need to keep your base working on building up your army. Keep in mind that if you have a lot of resources in the bank you do not earn interest, and you're also missing out on the units you could have made with those resources. Managing an army and a base at the same time is tricky, but the next two points can make it a lot easier...

Use hotkeys

When you have a building, unit or group of units selected, you can mouseover the selected unit's available actions (like move, attack, hold position, etc.) and see the hotkey shortcuts for each of those actions (“m” on the keyboard, “a”, “h”, etc.). Using the keyboard is much faster than moving your mouse and clicking those little action boxes, and faster actions give your army the potential to inflict more damage while taking less.

Use control groups

Control groups give you fast access to sets of units or buildings so that you can select them quickly and cleanly without clicking on them. To set a control group, select the units you want to place in the group, and then press ctrl + 1. From then on whenever you hit the “1” key, you will select that same group of units. You can set groups to any of the number keys 1-9. There may be maximum of units to any one group, so in big armies it's best to separate units by function-- i.e. with one group of melee and another of ranged attackers.


How to play smart:


Know how to “answer”

This common sense principle is the golden rule of any RTS: Know what to build to “answer” or nullify your opponent's strategy. When you're about to get zergling-rushed, get some bunkers. When your base is getting harassed by cloaked air units, build some anti-aircraft towers. Some answers are obvious (like the afforementioned anti-aircraft towers), while others are a bit more unexpected. If your awesome hydralisk army gets steamrolled, look at your opponent's army and remember how to counter mass hydralisks. Eventually you'll get to know what to do in just about every situation, at which point you will be an unstoppable force for awesome.

Conscientiously (but quickly!) choose what to attack and kill

By holding the alt key, you can make the game display life bars for all units on the field, including enemies. If you're in battle and you notice an enemy unit is near death, focus your attack on that particular unit and take him out of the fight. By removing that unit, you decrease the enemy's total firepower while yours remains the same. This means that the faster you can take individual enemy units out, the faster the tide of battle will turn in your favor. Focusing fire works best with ranged units that don't need to move around to change targets.

It's also important to keep in mind that focus fire goes both ways, so if you notice one of your units is about to die, run it out of range for a moment to let enemies attacking him acquire new targets before bringing him back in. Focus-fire is the backbone of good micro-management, and it's also where battles can really get tricky. For example, if a decent enemy player notices you focusing on a unit, he will run it around in circles forcing your army to stop attacking and give chase while his enemy army continues attacking. If something like this happens, choose a new target. Also remember that if you want your units to select their own targets, you can just hit “a” and left click somewhere on the field behind your enemies. Whatever you do, remember to keep your units attacking unless it's time to retreat.

Fight winning battles

Even with pretend videogame soldiers, there is a time to retreat. This should be obvious, but it's the one rule that is broken the most in an RTS. If you're going to lose a battle and you can salvage some of your units, get them out so they can be useful later, probably after you build a more appropriate answer to your opponent's army.

On the flip side, it is amazing how often you can coax your opponent into a losing battle. For example, let's say you have static defense (towers) near your base. While your army may not be able to defeat the enemy army head-on, towers are generally much stronger than mobile units. Small, annoying attacks will cause enemy units to pursue their attacker, so if your opponent isn't paying attention you can coax an enemy army right into the gauntlet of your static defense. As a side-note, I can't recommend building static defense enough. It's relatively cheap for the amount of damage it can do, and since so many players rely on rush tactics, you will rarely be sorry to have built it.

Don't be a dick

This is another tough one. You will be berated in many situations, but you just suck even more if you sink down to the level of an internet troll. Even if you're ranked in the top 100 players, you will still get called a noob (and much worse) in online games, that's just the internet. If you're feeling like you might cry, you can silence your opponent by checking "block player" box in the chat log, which is one of the menus at the very top of the screen (apparently the /squelch command doesn't work in SC2).  Sometimes it's best to silence your opponent pre-emptively so that they can't even get a word in. Just add it to your build order.


A lot of the above points are obvious, and some of them are easier said than done, but looking back on the last 14 years of playing RTS games I probably would have sucked a lot less a lot faster if someone had told me some of these things right from the get-go.  If you happen to have stumbled upon this (and then continued stumbling all the way to the end), and whether you're a noob or an RTS veteran, I hope this little ditty will help lessen your frustrations. 

I'll see ya on  

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Posted on Sunday, April 26 2009 @ 10:37:08 PST

Dreamcast came to the US in 1999 with a MODEM built right in.  That meant after the parents went to bed my friends and I could silently huddle around the TV and look at questionable websites with no worries about history left on the family computer.  A Game-Revolution, indeed!  My big sister's GBF once saw me downloading a "song" for Samba De Amigo and exclaimed, "The INTERNET on TEEVEE?  Imagine what they have in the military!"


Now, in 2009, I often say the best part about today's video games is that you don't even need any real friends to play versus mode.  I really appreciate this, because I recently switched states for some reason and don't have any videogame-playing friends nearby.  Especially not for the fighting games like Street Fighter 4, your Soul Calibur, your Tekkens.  Luckily there is the vastness of the internet to be my unpredictable human opponents, which is incredible.  Imagine what they must have in the military.


To a degree of course, this is nothing new.  I know online PC shooters and RTS-es have been around forever and I know that the last generation of systems has been internet-capable as well.  I'm not talking about playing Counter Strike or Warcraft or Halo (maybe Halo a little), I'm talking about the games that used to be played in arcades and/or basements.  Experiences where you're all in the same room and maybe you feel like you're getting the worst of the trash talk because your sister's a cheerleader, and then you're agitated and you toss the playstation controller a little too aggressively.  Maybe your buddy wasn't paying attention and the controller nails him in the ear.  Then he tackles you and you start kind of fighting for real over a videogame but it's okay because you're still young but then you knock over the potted plant and suddenly someone's mom is yelling at you boys to stop it, STOP it, WHO'S GOING TO CLEAN THAT UP, BOYS... right?  What I'm saying is, you certainly can't hit someone in the ear through your DSL line and even at a LAN party if you tackle someone mid-game you're likely to knock over $2,000 worth of equipment.  I'm talking about the new online multiplayer of those games which were previously played with and around real, tangible, tackleable humans.  Fighting games, high-score battles, the sort of thing that really relies on competition.


What happens when these games when you can compete with someone you never have to see and can't punch in the testicles?  Aside from missing the in-person interactions I already talked about, I think the main difference is that you don’t have a nemesis.  I suppose with friends lists it’s possible, but I got way better at Tekken 5 and RE4’s mercenaries mode than anyone really should, all because my roommate and I had a running rivalry.  That kind of thing doesn’t exist with random online matchmaking.  My nemesis and I would also talk strategy, which is embarrassingly nerdy but it’s another thing that’s missing from the online experience.  If you ask someone “How’d you do that?” on PSN or Live, you’re way more likely to get your sexuality questioned than a step-by-step tutorial. 


These thoughts come up because I’ve been playing a lot of SF4 online lately and it’s awesome, but I still feel like there’s something missing.  Playing online definitely beats going against a CPU opponent, but it’s still second-best to playing in person where you can trash-talk, debrief on strategy, punch each other etc.  I’m sure as technology continues to improve the experience will get better and closer to the in-person experience (if I recall there was no voice chat in ChuChu Rocket), but until that glorious day I’ll still miss getting yelled at by my fat stupid roommate over a game of Tekken or RE4 Mercenaries. 

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The Jackening
Posted on Sunday, February 22 2009 @ 11:34:04 PST

Two games I've been looking forward to in the recent past are Resident Evil 5 and Street Fighter 4.   I'd been anticipating jumping into the fun, familiar mechanics and characters, either throwing shoryukens or shooting not-zombies in the face and then punching them, because fists hurt more than bullets for some reason. 

But when I loaded up the RE5 demo good old suplex-happy, knife-fighting Leon wasn't there.  Instead we get Chris and he's jacked.  Like, super-jacked.  I guess it's just supposed to make him seem tough, but he's got some serious biceps busting out of that tactical t-shirt thing and they're veiny.  Makes me feel inadequate.  Whatever, still a fun game.  Moving on. 

Street Figher 4 is what really put this whole thing over the edge for me.  I'm pretty sure Ryu started out in SF2 at 5'10" and 150lbs.  Did he fall into a bench press addiction in downtime between Street Figher editions?  Did they need to fill him out to look better on the wider aspect-ratio?  Am I just freaking out because this is the first time I've seen his manboobs in 3D?  Ryu's got a big chest, big arms, silly abs.  Looks like he wouldn't be able to straighten his elbows out to throw a hadouken. 

And there are a bunch of other, silllier games with super jacked up main characters: Gears of War, Unreal Tournament , Army of Two.  Characters that are all pretty much huge hyper-aggressive fist-pounding chads.  Not that the Street Fighter gang was super realistic to begin with, but they also never made me want to drink a protein shake.  Chris and the resident-evil protagonists always seemed more llike real people, though.  Really, I think the jacking-up of Chris Redfield is an example of the move away from survival horror everyone is crying about-- you can't really be scared if you're the incredible hulk.  I don't mind action-y gameplay, but I am getting tired of uber-muscled video game characters.  They have their place, but I think it's usually unnecessary and it makes Street Fighter 4 less pretty than it could have been.  At least now it's more believable that a Chris Redfield punch actually hurts more than a bullet to the forehead. 

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Operation Anchorage
Posted on Thursday, January 29 2009 @ 20:16:28 PST

I could totally go for some bonus Fallout 3 right about now, but I can't because I'm a Sony boy.  I bought a PS3 for a couple of reasons.  Let's review:

1) MGS 4 - Sweet tactical espionage action, sweet knife-fighting cybor...   read more...

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Mercenaries Demo
Posted on Tuesday, September 30 2008 @ 18:49:02 PST

It was pretty fun.  Demos are a neat little addition to this generation of consoles aren't they? 

Reminds me of the days when I'd go to my Dad's work to use the superfast connection to download something like the Duke Nukem 3D d...   read more...

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The Uncanny Valley and the Middle East
Posted on Saturday, May 31 2008 @ 22:22:46 PST

For me at least, COD4 is the first console FPS fast and fun enough to justify hearing an occasional online Chad letting you know that you're a gay homo.  Even when you do get fed up with [S1UT]BEAST69, the next rank is always so close that you c...   read more...

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