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StickyGreenGamer StickyGreenGamer's Blog
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Sad State of Survival
Posted on Wednesday, September 14 2011 @ 07:53:33 Eastern

The other day while flipping through a copy of GameInformer I happened across this piece of fan mail.

"Today I got back from a four-day camping trip in the mountains.  I had just received issue 219 the day to leaving and decided to take it with us camping so that I could read it.  Upon arriving at our campsite, my buddies and I discovered we forgot to bring any PAPER FOR STARTING THE CAMPFIRE...I had to sacrifice my newest issue of GameInformer to keep us warm during our four days in the wild." - Brian Robertson, McMinnville, Oregon (GI #221, page 7).

This both shocked and appalled me.  Gamers, gone into the wild.  I've yet to meet a gamer who won't claim that come the end of the world, be it pestilence, plague, or zombie outbreak, they will survive.  Yet here, in print, is some very concerning evidence to the contrary.  These muppets couldn't start a fire, without paper, in the wild.

Now, I am no expert survivalist.  Just a guy with multiple years of Boy Scout training.  One of the first things you learn about starting a fire in the wilderness is that all you need is already around you.  You don't need paper, kindling is easily enough found on the ground.  This omission, got me to thinking more on the issue however.

What did these people eat on their "four days in the wild"?  I'm willing to assume 90 percent of their food was purchased at a gas station on the way to the campsite and required no cooking.  What will these people do when there is no food readily packaged and available left to eat?

Then I thought some more.  How long did it take these guys to get a tent up?  I'm assuming four to five hours.  How long did it take them to break said tent back down?  I'm assuming another four to five hours.  Was it properly packaged?  Probably not.

So in short, and before I start drifting off point, this serves as a poor example of the breed that will be expected to lead and protect civilization come the end of society.  If you cannot start a fire, cook in the wilderness, or create proper shelter in a short time space, do us all a favor and go take some classes.  Figure it out.

Or the Green Berets will outshine us come the end of the world.  It'll be our only chance to become the societal Elite, and I don't want you people squandering it because you don't understand the basics of survival!
 



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