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Bowser and the secret apprentice.
Posted on Tuesday, September 23 2008 @ 13:48:45 PST

So basically i'm came to a wondering thought of what if that letter that Peach sent to Mario in Nintendo 64's Super Mario 64 was sent to someone else. So here's what has came in my head as i was typing.

(Peach's Letter)

Dear Mario,

As you already noticed I always need your help. The First time i needed you, it was because of Bowser. Second time i needed you, it was because of Bowser. The third time i needed you...well let's just face it. Bowser have dispupted our sex life. I haven't even got to sleep with you yet. I mean that one time in Mushroom Kingdom i ran into your brother Luigi and as it turns out. He had an L on his hat, so i figured it meant loser. But you had and M on your hat and i thought it meant Man, I figured you were my Man. I really enjoy my seconds with you before we're departed again...

I'm sorry to tell you this but Bowser returned and i need your help again. Bowser is planning on using his trained secret apprentice to KILL you. O my i can't take it anymore please come and get me. I'm somehow locked in this dungeon...again. Please rescue me, Love Peach.

P.S I hope this gets to you.(end of letter)

 

(Letter from a Sassy Big Fat Lady)

Dear Hoe,

I don't know why yall sent me this letter. I don't even know wtf that this is that flew over my house with some sort of fishing hook...or that cloud that thing somehow drove. I don't know wtf this is all about. Is this some type of gang crap. Is Bowser the big boss you guys are all scarred of and won't get money to him. OR is he your pimp and you owe his ass money because you can't give it to guys no more since you were used up

Who's this Mario guy? Hmm Hmm man this guy protecting your ass all the time definately sounds like he's your pimp. But Bowser sounds like a pimp as well. What you'll all going to do have a pimp war?? Bitch you guys are definately on drugs, Mushroom Kingdom, now that's a place where you get your shrooms. So you guys carry on and the next time i see that flying **** around my house again I'm going to get my 9mm and shoot down his ass. So you guys go and have your pimp war and plus Secret Apprentice. What is that?? you guys watchin Donald Trump stoned?? Please for hope's sake go and take my words. Put them in your ears and close your ears. Then take your mouths and take a needle and thread and sew them up so you'll all have my words in your head and nothing to get you in your head. Alright Hoe? 

P.S I'm serious if i get another letter, your ass is pounded 

 

 

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