My Quest: To Chase the Dream
Posted on Thursday, March 22 2012 @ 23:02:52 Eastern

So, as some of you may or may not know I am an aspiring actor/voice actor... and porn star.  As far as becoming a professional film/TV actor is concerned I have about as much chance at that as I do marrying Marisha Ray. Not a long shot, but highly unlikely.  Moonlighting as a pornstar helps, only because it proves that I don't mind sleeping with people to get ahead. On the other hand I have seen marginal success in my short lived career as a voice over ArTEEST. without having to go down on anyone (totally not above it though).  Needless to say some of the biggest projects I have been apart of and have gotten paid for involved the gaming community (See Below), and what keeps my passion alive is the hopes that one day it will be me (or my voice rather) facing off against some monstrous diety in order to ward off evil, save mankind, and bang the princess.  I've known since I was young that this line of work would be the most fulfilling for me, but conventional society told me that "hard skills involving the sciences" are what were needed to make it in 'Murika!  I guess to some extent those nagging voices (mom) were right, but I can still be allowed to dream right?! Anyway, I will keep you lot posted on my successes and failures as I chase destiny. 


Here is a link to my most recent project:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6PIvjWCAqc

Here is a link to a project that I had the pleasure to work on in the past (i'll let you guess which one I am):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knzvIyY9uO8

In the pipeline:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpeoW48EMZY&feature=youtu​.be
-inb4 "you don't sound black"
(if links don't work - copy and paste them into browser)

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and that's when the whores come in.
Posted on Sunday, December 18 2011 @ 14:29:51 Eastern

Men laying their trick-money down. Twenty dollars to pay the rent? Maybe not. Maybe instead I'll spend it on the WHORE!

It has been recently brought to this community member's attention that there is a complete lack of estrogen browsing around these here forums. Not that we would know how to interact with females if they started to visit, but we do need some DIVERSITY up in this mutha!  So, I enlisted the help of my comrads to come up with a solution for this dilemma.  The result of our Brainstorming: Advertise!  
Ok, advertise - but where?... 

Well my friends, where else can men such as us hope to find decent, moral, educated, god-fearing, upstanding young women with similar hobbies as ours - that won't get offended by our smells, jokes, and to be honest looks.   Yup, you guessed it - Craigslist.  This forced me to ask myself " But where on Craigslist would an ad such as ours go out and potentially get a bite?"  Thats when it hit me like Chris Brown, it should go to a section that I frequent fairly often when looking for similar advances from the opposite sex.  Sadly, the adult massage section has ben since shut down, so we settled on - Men Seeking Women.


The ad, as it sits, looks something like this: 

Video Game Online Forum seeking female members to be apart of our ...ummm.. club.. 
Ladies, our forums are filled with the highest quality of gamer guru studs the web has to offer. 
We don't just wan't ANY ol' rack joining our ranks - we may be nerds, 
but we have our standards. Visit our forum at www.gamervolution.com/forum,
register a username, and "Introduce Yo' Self"!

BUT ONLY IF YOU MEET OUR Base Criteria: 
(We require our female members to) 
-Post once a day 
-Specialize in a genre 
-Be cute and willing to post pictures 
-Be over 18 
-Have a functional knowledge of Tosh.0 and web pop culture a plus! 
-Any race & religion OK 

Stipulations added by our current members: 
-Must have a love for British accents 
-Must be clean 
-Must be 420 Friendly 
-If you're Asain, you have to play something other than WoW
-Must be AT LEAST High School Educated 
-Speaking English is a preference but not a necessity (no l33t speak!) 
-Must have a microphone and be willing to join the community playdates and podcasts 

As a general rule: 
-No fatties. 
-No uglies. 
-No fat uglies. 
-No ugly fatties. 
-No women that are men. 
-No women that are not breathing. 
-No women that are being made to breathe artificially. 
[If we have women browsing this site, who fit the criteria listed directly above, don't worry - you've been grandfathered into our fold and shall remain a lifetime member]

We already have the Post-Op Female Lesbian angle covered but, traps OK (must post pictures first) 
Furries can burn in Hades 

[This call is in no way endorsed by the Admins of GR, It is a call from the members within its community - so don't go all feminist on their asses.  Come at MEEE, bros.. bras?]

JOIN THE REVOLUTION NOW!

Veiw the full ad here:
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/stp/2759691061.html


Now, Heres where we need your help! I can only post in MY city, but GR is expansive and has members from all over the world.  What I want... no. NEED all the readers out there to do is to post this ad in their local city. Then, my fellow comrades, we sit back and wait to be fed grapes by gaming's worthiest of beauties while we play Red Dead Redeption with our feet up and our boobies pressed firmly on our shoulders!!!!

AMIRITE?!WHO'S WITH ME MEN!!!!  




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MMORPG-match.com
Posted on Tuesday, September 6 2011 @ 20:12:30 Eastern

So, the day has finally come! You're going to meet your WoW gf IRL!!! (if you can't follow the acronyms, you probably won't get most of the humor in this blog.. silly nUbs)   Remember, slow the F*** down! Try not to get too excited, the same rules apply to people that apply to NPC's.   There's usually an aggro range, so if you go rushing in too quickly without proper support or spells - you're toast. But of course you already knew that, right?  Also, you don't want to take too long to make your move, because someone will swoop in after you've put in all that work, make the quick kill, and steal your booty! Lets not forget that you've been putting off this meeting for sometime now - I mean pro arm wrestling, cage fighter, X-games, mountain climbing, washing your neckbeard, or whatever excuse you used to put this meeting off can't be used twice. 
  So - You've picked out a location (probably something very public for HER safety), you've texted (hopefully no emoticons), and you've even exchanged Facebook friend requests (for the love of god man wait for her to request you!).  With all that done - THE DAY IS HERE mY Man!   But Again, follow Douglas Adams' advice - DON'T PANIC! After all, you're a lvl 79 Shadow Warrior - F***ing ACT LIKE IT!  Oh yea, leave the picture you printed out of her avatar or the one you lurked to find from her friend's Facebook in the car please - trust me, she WONT think its cute.  Now, before I tell you how to proceed I need to ask a series of questions: -Have you ever had a gf? (yes - 2pts, no - 1 pts, define gf - 0 pts) -Have you ever kissed a girl? (Tongue - 3 pts, lips - 2 pts, cheek - 1 pts, define kiss - 0 pts) -How long is your hair?  (close crop - 2 pts, shaggy - 1 pts, head or facial hair? - 0 pts) -Who proposed the meeting? (It just came up - 2 pts, She did - 1 pts, Me - 0 pts) -Has she seen your picture? (She freind requested me! - 3 pts, yes - 2 pts, no - 1 pt, we've only talked in game - 0pts) -Has she spoken with you about previous or current guys in her life? ( No - 2 pts, In passing - ehhh .5pts, yes but I-- -15pts) -How old are you? ( >13 - [just make sure your mom stays in the car], 14 - 18: 2 pts, 19 - 22: 0 pts, 23< [You're doomed])   0 - 4 pts, don't even go - she's probably going to stand you up. 5 - 8 pts, Odds are shes going to show up with a friend (even if she said she wouldn't), so just try to increase your chances  for a 2nd date 9 - 12 pts, good - not entirely a novice, but still require some guidance. 12 + pts - You don't need to read my advice, you've got this.     BRING MONEY!!! Even if she says you'll only be walking around or talking or blah blah blah - have cash $$, tell your Nan you'll pay her back (or if you stole from her - do a good deed. you're a gamer, I don't have to tell you about Karma). uh-oh, you see her.. fight the urge to go frolicking over, and play it cool (maybe a smile or a wave - but NOTHING TOO BIG!).
  Give her something like, "oh hey wassup" instead of "OMG HI!".  When you finally reach her - hug her, i know it seems awkward but just do it - even if she reaches her hand out - go in for the hug (and not the ass out safe hug, GET IN THERE!) it may be the only alpha thing you get to do tonight. Unless she calls you out on the millions of things you lied about online.   Which brings me to my next topic - conversation.  Have an excuse not to do or talk about anything you mentioned to her earlier. be creative.  Got a scar? Come with a story for it. You arrive on public transport? Its cool cuz, You're letting a buddy use your car to drive to Oregon to pick up some dank and hes giving you a bomb price. Basically, you've got the template for conversation if you've SOMEHOW convinced her meeting up with you was a GOOD idea. Don't blow it, AND ESPECIALLY DONT TELL THE TRUTH - lying is what got you here.   If you guys DO stop for food, you'll be thankful you brought money - but don't offer to pay. I know you're trying to  be a gentlemen, but F*** THAT $H**, i don't have a real reason for not buying her food other than true equality. Oh yea - no charm spells aka roofies! you've made it this far without them - also leave them in the car). Anyway I would advise against eating, I know you might be hungry - but your basement dwelling eating habits are a little off-putting [trust me]. Perfect date would be at an arcade, but you're an idiot and you come to GR for dating advice so I'm assuming you're making every mistake in the book.    After the "date" - ignore her! TRUST ME IT WORKS!  If you start telling her that you've been dreaming about her since you guys met, or that you cant wait to see her again shes going to be jumping on some other Warlocks channeling staff. So, fight that itch to play Wow for just 4-5 days, c'mon man you can do it!!!  A potential gf is on the line here!  Ignore her calls, texts, and messages - and if she catches you online in a chat window - LOG OFF QUICK! Seriously, you can't be online and mountain climbing at the same time - think man!   Follow these rules and let me know how it turns out - I guarantee you wont be disappoint

If all else fails, buy the chick a flower... yea, chicks love flowers.

Your Boy,
Urbz

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Niko Bellic... you're my only friend.
Posted on Monday, May 17 2010 @ 22:50:21 Eastern

Sometimes... I'm driving down the street and I wonder what it would be like to plow into a sidewalk full of pedestrians and children.  I also, wonder what I would be like to take a helicopter to the top of a skyscraper and just start pickin...   read more...

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Totally gay for Vincent.
Posted on Friday, April 17 2009 @ 22:23:19 Eastern

[Not really but, hey if he was real, who knows...]
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. . . . .The recent release of FFXIII's new  trailer has stirred my sleeping love affair with you (the Final Fantasy series).   Winter cannot come soon enough for go...   read more...

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