More Reviews
REVIEWS Wayward Manor Review
Not even the power of Neil Gaiman and The Odd Gentlemen could save this game from a fate worse than death: a terrible score.

ONE PIECE Unlimited World Red Review
"Unlimited World Red"? More like "Sorta Limited Town and Extended Areas... Red. And Blue. And Some Yellow."
More Previews
PREVIEWS Pillars of Eternity Preview
For Obsidian's crowdfunded love letter to Infinity Engine games like Icewind Dale and Baldur's Gate, I was impressed by its willingness to pull back the curtain and let me see the machinery behind it.
Release Dates
NEW RELEASES Sacred 3
Release date: 08/05/14

CounterSpy
Release date: 08/19/14

Tales of Xillia 2
Release date: 08/19/14

Plants Vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare
Release date: 08/19/14


LATEST FEATURES How Bioware Creates Romances
Bioware's games have romances where you might save the world, on the side of course.

We Absolutely Should Be Upset With Club Nintendo's Latest Elite Rewards
Surveys out the wazoo and I get a code for Dr. Luigi?
MOST POPULAR FEATURES Picking Your Gender: 5 Industry Professionals Discuss Queer Identity in Gaming
Women from Naughty Dog, ArenaNet, Harmonix, and Gamespot unite to talk about what they want from games in terms of diversity.
 
Coming Soon

LEADERBOARD
Read More Member Blogs
FEATURED VOXPOP Kakulukia
Why Sunset Overdrive Can Go Suck A Lemon
By Kakulukia
Posted on 07/14/14
Yesterday, while cleaning up my media center, I found my copy of Ratchet & Clank: Into The Nexus, which I bought sometime before Christmas last year. I had been pretty excited about this game pre-release, what with it being the first "traditional", albeit shorter than usual,...

MEMBER BLOG

UrbanMasque UrbanMasque's Blog
PROFILE
Average Blog Rating:
[ Back to All Posts ]
MMORPG-match.com
Posted on Tuesday, September 6 2011 @ 20:12:30 Eastern

So, the day has finally come! You're going to meet your WoW gf IRL!!! (if you can't follow the acronyms, you probably won't get most of the humor in this blog.. silly nUbs)
 
Remember, slow the F*** down! Try not to get too excited, the same rules apply to people that apply to NPC's.  
There's usually an aggro range, so if you go rushing in too quickly without proper support or spells - you're toast.
But of course you already knew that, right?  Also, you don't want to take too long to make your move, because someone will swoop in after you've put in all that work, make the quick kill, and steal your booty! Lets not forget that you've been putting off this meeting for sometime now - I mean pro arm wrestling, cage fighter, X-games, mountain climbing, washing your neckbeard, or whatever excuse you used to put this meeting off can't be used twice. 
 
So - You've picked out a location (probably something very public for HER safety), you've texted (hopefully no emoticons), and you've even exchanged Facebook friend requests (for the love of god man wait for her to request you!).  With all that done - THE DAY IS HERE mY Man!   But Again, follow Douglas Adams' advice - DON'T PANIC! After all, you're a lvl 79 Shadow Warrior - F***ing ACT LIKE IT!  Oh yea, leave the picture you printed out of her avatar or the one you lurked to find from her friend's Facebook in the car please -
trust me, she WONT think its cute. 
  • Now, before I tell you how to proceed I need to ask a series of questions:
  • -Have you ever had a gf? (yes - 2pts, no - 1 pts, define gf - 0 pts)
  • -Have you ever kissed a girl? (Tongue - 3 pts, lips - 2 pts, cheek - 1 pts, define kiss - 0 pts)
  • -How long is your hair?  (close crop - 2 pts, shaggy - 1 pts, head or facial hair? - 0 pts)
  • -Who proposed the meeting? (It just came up - 2 pts, She did - 1 pts, Me - 0 pts)
  • -Has she seen your picture? (She freind requested me! - 3 pts, yes - 2 pts, no - 1 pt, we've only talked in game - 0pts)
  • -Has she spoken with you about previous or current guys in her life? ( No - 2 pts, In passing - ehhh .5pts, yes but I-- -15pts)
  • -How old are you? ( >13 - [just make sure your mom stays in the car], 14 - 18: 2 pts, 19 - 22: 0 pts, 23< [You're doomed])
  •  
  • 0 - 4 pts, don't even go - she's probably going to stand you up.
  • 5 - 8 pts, Odds are shes going to show up with a friend (even if she said she wouldn't), so just try to increase your chances 
  • for a 2nd date
  • 9 - 12 pts, good - not entirely a novice, but still require some guidance.
  • 12 + pts - You don't need to read my advice, you've got this.
  •  
 
BRING MONEY!!! Even if she says you'll only be walking around or talking or blah blah blah - have cash $$, tell your Nan you'll pay her back (or if you stole from her - do a good deed. you're a gamer, I don't have to tell you about Karma). uh-oh, you see her.. fight the urge to go frolicking over, and play it cool (maybe a smile or a wave - but NOTHING TOO BIG!).
 
Give her something like, "oh hey wassup" instead of "OMG HI!".  When you finally reach her - hug her, i know it seems awkward but just do it - even if she reaches her hand out - go in for the hug (and not the ass out safe hug, GET IN THERE!) it may be the only alpha thing you get to do tonight. Unless she calls you out on the millions of things you lied about online.
 
Which brings me to my next topic - conversation.  Have an excuse not to do or talk about anything you mentioned to her earlier. be creative.  Got a scar? Come with a story for it. You arrive on public transport? Its cool cuz, You're letting a buddy use your car to drive to Oregon to pick up some dank and hes giving you a bomb price. Basically, you've got the template for conversation if you've SOMEHOW convinced her meeting up with you was a GOOD idea. Don't blow it, AND ESPECIALLY DONT TELL THE TRUTH - lying is what got you here.
 
If you guys DO stop for food, you'll be thankful you brought money - but don't offer to pay. I know you're trying to 
be a gentlemen, but F*** THAT $H**, i don't have a real reason for not buying her food other than true equality. Oh yea - no charm spells aka roofies! you've made it this far without them - also leave them in the car). Anyway I would advise against eating, I know you might be hungry - but your basement dwelling eating habits are a little off-putting [trust me]. Perfect date would be at an arcade, but you're an idiot and you come to GR for dating advice so I'm assuming you're making every mistake in the book. 
 
After the "date" - ignore her! TRUST ME IT WORKS!  If you start telling her that you've been dreaming about her since you guys met, or that you cant wait to see her again shes going to be jumping on some other Warlocks channeling staff. So, fight that itch to play Wow for just 4-5 days, c'mon man you can do it!!!  A potential gf is on the line here!  Ignore her calls, texts, and messages - and if she catches you online in a chat window - LOG OFF QUICK! Seriously, you can't be online and mountain climbing at the same time - think man!
 
Follow these rules and let me know how it turns out - I guarantee you wont be disappoint

If all else fails, buy the chick a flower... yea, chicks love flowers.

Your Boy,
Urbz
comments powered by Disqus

 
More On GameRevolution