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Posted on Wednesday, January 2 2008 @ 16:32:46 Eastern
Wondering if it's the new year yet? Well aside from tripping over old Christmas decorations, standing on fallen pine needles or... checking a calendar, there's an easy way to find out, switch on the TV and if every other advert is some barely known 'TV personality' dancing around in the company of people who are no doubt professional dancers even though they want you to think they're all a close knit bunch like the six on Friends then it's early January. I mean who are these people? There's generally two extremes, there's the girl who used to be overweight and now, is not. I mean, great, you used to be a bloater and now you're actually got a pretty sweet body but there are less cheesy ways to show it off. Just be glad that now you dropped the weight you do have a pretty face. The other end of the spectrum is the natural stunner, the woman the ugly girl of the class dreams of becoming and every guy on the planet dreams of getting with (until they actually do and then get bored). Why do we want to see this hot bit of strumpet prancing around in a skimpy bit of spandex? ....... Wait I forgot where I was going with this... oh yeah! Ok any red blooded male would want to see that hot bit of strumpet prancing around in a skimpy bit of spandex but let's face it, with the women in question we could bring up their official topless website and then we wouldn't have to put up with the voice over, the crappy music track or the condescending "do this three times a week and get a body like mine! Why didn't you think of this before you fat ****?"
'Celebrities', do you honestly think your advice is so valuable? I can give pretty much the same advice right here for free, stop eating **** saturated excuses for food and move about a bit for an hour a day. Or is it more about getting your mug plastered on TVs across the land? Do the DVDs make you that much money? Mind you, one of the bloody things this year is from three (awesomely hot) WAGs, so it's not like money's an issue for those pampered pooches.
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