How To Take a Picture of One's Self Today
Posted on Tuesday, May 26 2009 @ 11:48:15 Eastern
1: Point camera at self
2: Make sure to get the fact that you are the one holding the camera (i.e. show the arm holding the camera in the frame)
3: Do not, DO NOT look at the camera. For the love of God, look at ANYTHING else. Make yourself seem uninterested in anything directly in front of you.
4: Do not smile. Smiles are for losers. If you must, make it moreover a pursed-lip smile, usually to the side of your mouth.
4a: If pulling off a pursed smile, negate rule #3 so long as it's a glance to the camera, but do not look directly into the lens with your face forward. Simply turn your head and glance.
4b: If you have a piercing (i.e. lip ring, nose stud [but not septum ring] or eyebrow ring) make sure it is clearly visible
5: Make sure nothing funny is in your picture. Photos are meant to be serious, and funny things are not serious. In fact, the more depressing the entire photo looks, the better.
6: Try to keep your face at an angle. Everyone knows that shots where you are facing forward will never amount to any thing noted as good.
7: Remember, even though you will not edit this picture in the slightest, and you have no formal training, this photo is an artistic portrayal of your angst-ridden sheltered upbringing and your terrible life in suburbia.
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