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FEATURED VOXPOP whytenoiz ~~        When I was eleven years old, it was a very good year, and I can remember my daily routine vividly. These were the years before I owned a Sony Playstation, and I used to venture to my friends house - everyday after school - to watch him play through Final...

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Posted on Monday, December 12 2011 @ 09:01:16 Eastern

He beat it. It took me a month to beat Ocarina and I couldn’t beat Majora’s mask without GR’s assistance. I still haven’t played Wind Waker or Twilight Princess and this lil $hyt just up and whooped Skyward Sword’s ass while I struggled with Skyrim. He still laughs mercilessly when I get mauled by the occasional bear. He flipping lost it when I got chomped by a Frost Dragon. I was a bit… perturbed… when it happened. I decided then and there that:

1) Fast travelling, while convenient and useful when travelling between towns, should be used sparingly in later levels. Problem being is that occasionally it drops you into the middle of a fight between 3 giants and a dragon. It once put me directly in the line of fire between some imperial soldiers and a Hagraven. While this is not as much of a problem when wearing my heavy armor, ready to battle with Lydia by my side it does present some issues when I’m in sneak thief mode with little more than a dagger, some strength potions and Nightingale armor.
2) I will not play while he is in the room. He questioned every move and purchase I made. He was giving me TIPS. He hasn’t played it (yet) and he stands behind me asking if it was smart to be putting points onto smithing.

Dad don’t you think that you should be making your guy stronger? What about your bow? Isn’t that one a bow? Why do you want to make clothes when you can buy them?

My wife got a little annoyed on Saturday. Well to tell the truth she got MAD! Not just a little mad but put your head down and leave the room mad. All because I woke up early that day to play some Skyrim while everyone else was sleeping in. Well a couple hours turns into “most of the ****ing day” pretty goddamn quick when Dovahkiin decides to explore westward. She didn’t buy my lamentations and apologies that claimed ignorance at the amount of time that had gone by while I was exploring Tamriel’s Northern Province. She did not understand how 8 hours can seem like a quick 2 hour dungeon crawl. I explained that I could not see the clock because it was to my right and the TV is in front of me. I don’t think she was very accepting of that argument as her response was “Are you serious?” Apparently that was a rhetorical question.

On a side note, I still sound like a small girl when I yell. My voice has left me and in order for me not to sound small and feminine I have to speak calm and at an inside voice level appropriate for a high school library. Any louder, say a scream for help or the whimpering sobs of a broken man, and my voice rises to the pitch of your kindergarten sister with a skinned knee.
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