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FEATURED VOXPOP ryanbates
Gamer Love
By ryanbates
Posted on 12/19/14
When a player one meets his or her player two, it's a beautiful thing. Check out this cake my friend and GameRevolution reader Lindsey L. gave her sweetums on their two-year anniversary!   ...

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PROFILE
Haiku interview.
Posted on Monday, August 8 2011 @ 07:37:25 Eastern

“We are honored to have with us today Dr. Richard Cranium PhD; Professor emeritus of English, Midwest Polytechnic University, Sandusky Ohio. Hello, professor.”

“Greetings, er, tiny.”

“Gee, it’s great to have you here, today to help us better understand haiku.”

“Yes, it is an honor and a privilege to help educate ones less fortunate than oneself.”

“Okay, first off, can you give us a short and sweet definition of a haiku?”

“Yes, I could. However I feel an overview of the history of the written art form known as haiku would be much more beneficial to all concerned.”

“Doc, we don’t have that much time or space.”

“Oh, very well. A haiku is a very short piece of poetry consisting of three lines. The first line having five syllables, the second line having seven syllables, and the third line having five syllables. A haiku does not need to rhyme, most don’t, but can rhyme and still be a haiku. It is a general principle that a seasonal reference is made in the haiku, a word (or words) that make one think of a season. Traditional haiku have a word or more commonly in English a punctuation that serves to break the haiku into two parts, or is used to show a definite stop to an idea. All that being said, modern English haiku are not really constrained by any of these rules other than being short.”

“Ok-ay. Right. Thank you for clearing that up for us, Dr. Dickhead. Er, I, um, mean Cranium, Dr. Richard Cranium, everyone.”

 

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*meow* II
Posted on Saturday, August 6 2011 @ 06:10:19 Eastern

Welcome to Crojan Scientific’s Interspecies Translator: Please select source-species and target-species.

*meow*

Translator: You have selected Felis catus (also known as the housecat) to Homo sapiens (also know as human). If this is correct please continue with the translation. If this is incorrect please press the Esc key now.

*MEOW MEOW Meow*

Translator: “What part of “you must help me” don’t you understand? Stupid monkeys (Translator note could all so be translated as: apes or gorillas)! He’s crazy, he’s evil, he’s stingy with the kitty treats, and he’s plotting to take over the world!”

*meow meow*

Translator: “I'm sorry, but it‘s frustrating I contacted you over a week ago asking for your aid. He really is planning on taking over your GameRevolution website. He is even building red-border-seeking missiles.”

*Meow meow*

Translator: “Please, please help me I’m a good kitty. You must thwart his evil plans, rescue me from his evil clutches, and save the world!”

*the sound of footsteps; a door opens*

“Fluffy what are you doing? Bad kitty!” *reads blog post* “You disloyal little feline, I knew I should have gotten a dog.”

 

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Two types of people?
Posted on Thursday, August 4 2011 @ 05:27:52 Eastern

One night while socializing with a group of acquaintances the idea of “two types of people in this world” came up in conversation. Someone stated that there are two types of people, the ones that make things happen, and the ones who watch things happen. Just then somebody else walked in, “What are you guys talking about?” To which I replied, “That there are three types of people in this world, the ones that make things happen, the ones who watch things happen, and the ones who say what the hell just happen?”

 

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A few things I like about GR.
Posted on Sunday, July 31 2011 @ 21:16:40 Eastern

1) A small, dedicated, and involved staff. You could also throw in hard working, helpful, and intelligent but I don’t want to sound like I’m kissing up.

2) No stupid top ten lists. I’m looking right at you IGN. &ldq...   read more...

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The Game Warden.
Posted on Sunday, July 31 2011 @ 07:39:24 Eastern

*reads sign aloud* “Welcome to Lake Game Revolution”

“Okay, let’s see your fishing license.”

“Oh, you gave me a start, didn‘t see you there.” *hands over license* “Is ...   read more...

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5 days in HELL.
Posted on Saturday, July 30 2011 @ 23:14:55 Eastern

I once spent 5 days in hell, but my pain and suffering was nothing compared to what I heard. For 5 days I was in the Harborview Medical Center’s Burn Center in Seattle, Washington. The kids, some with burns over half their bodies, would s...   read more...

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*meow*
Posted on Wednesday, July 27 2011 @ 23:49:16 Eastern

Welcome to Crojan Scientific’s Interspecies Translator: Please select source-species and target-species.

*meow*

Translator: You have selected Felis catus (also known as the housecat) to Homo sapiens (also know as hum...   read more...

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Game economics 101:
Posted on Tuesday, July 26 2011 @ 22:05:51 Eastern

GOLD! That one shout has sent more individuals running than almost anything else in the history of man. Gold rushes have occurred in North Carolina (1799, yes, that’s right), California (1849), and the Klondike river valley (1896), as wel...   read more...

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More fishing.
Posted on Tuesday, July 19 2011 @ 17:40:52 Eastern

Oh, Boy! My new lure came today. Let’s see. How do you open this stupid package? Oh forget this! Where’s my fillet knife. Whoa, I almost cut my ear off. Oh. Wow. Ain’t she a beauty. “Wii U, don’t you mean PU!&rdquo...   read more...

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Why can’t game developers and publishers use their imagination?
Posted on Saturday, July 16 2011 @ 21:45:43 Eastern

I guess someone in the game industry has used their imagination at least once or there wouldn’t be a pass system for online games. Maybe you've heard of the newest one: “Ubisoft Introduces Uplay Online Pass [Update: Confirmed]&r...   read more...

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