Why a zombie outbreak would suckcomments powered by Disqus
Posted on Wednesday, January 19 2011 @ 08:05:25 Eastern
A zombie invasion is every nerd’s wet dream where they don’t have to listen to the law, loot all they want, get people to listen to them if they want to survive, and blow a zombie’s brain’s out like it’s another day at the office. The fantasy of being able to kick ass without any consequences and living on survival instincts are things every gamer dreams of, but I think it’s time for me to spoil your fun a bit and drag everyone back down to reality as I show you why living in a zombie infected world would suck.
1) Limited supplies
Remember when the Y2K scare happened during the final days of 1999? If you were too young or drunk to remember then, the event was people believing that every computer around the world would fail and bring the world to its knees because they thought computers could not function if their dates could not properly display 2000 for the year (In most countries, the last two digits of the year are written for abbreviation and had also applied to computers at the time). During this time, people started to stock up on water, batteries, canned goods, and other items needed for survival. Now, for argument’s sake, let’s say the zombie outbreak is swift but noticeable enough to get you to start hording supplies. Now this is where the sucky part comes in.
Millions, and I do mean millions, of people are going to do the same thing you are by stocking up. You will have to fight (sometimes to the death, literally) other people as everyone is trying to gather up all the supplies they can just so they and their families can survive. If you waited till the last minute, every store is going to be bare and you won’t have a thing to live off of. This is not just for food either. Batteries, flashlights, gasoline, and other supplies will be out of reach for most because everyone else snatched them up and if gas is extremely limited, then don’t expect to be able to travel far (why you think Bill from Left 4 Dead says they need a sailboat specifically during The Sacrifice campaign?) Since supplies will be limited, this leads to…
2) No comfort zone
Even if you got a nice stock of food and batteries, they are only finite and you will eventually have to go out and hunt for more supplies. What does this mean for you? You can’t stay in a single spot forever because even if every store in a 5 mile radius was stocked, they will eventually run out of goods and you will be forced to move to another area and pray that the stores there have stuff for you to take. You will have to be a nomad and always be on the go in order to survive and find more food or other goods. This also means you will have to put your life and other survivors’ lives at risk by exposing yourself to the zombies as you hunt for more supplies. Don’t expect to be able to live in your shelter forever because unlike the normal real world, supplies don’t restock, which leads to my next point.
3) Supplies will eventually run out
In a normal world, there are people who work to keep society going and making food is one of the jobs. Now if zombies took over, there won’t be anyone around to produce food. This doesn’t just mean you can’t live off McDonald’s or Doritos (which you shouldn’t be doing anyway, fatty) because there’s no one to make them, but even basic foods like fruits and vegetables won’t be mass produced anymore. You’ll be forced to scavenge whatever seeds and such you can get and plant them so they can grow while also rationing whatever food you do have so it can last. Even if you can do these things without any problems, stuff will eventually run out; no more gasoline, no more batteries, no more cars being made, no nothing. It gets even worse when you realize that medicine will be extremely valuable and rare and if you suffer any injuries but lack the supplies to treat it, you are pretty much screwed. Unlike Resident Evil, eating/smoking herbs won’t magically heal all wounds and good luck finding a survivor who is a doctor and has the supplies needed to treat the wounded. Once people start to realize that, it can lead into this.
4) Fierce competition from other survivors
Once people see that they can’t live in comfort and need to scavenge supplies, the drive to survive will take over and they may start to do things that they may have not normally done in society. If a survivor knows you have supplies while they don’t, they will do anything to get what you worked to get. Of course, how they get it depends on the survivor. People may politely ask for you to share your goods but there will be many other people who will not care if you are screwed as long as they can steal your stuff. If someone wants something you have that badly, they may harm you, kill you, rape you, and do a load of many other nasty things to make sure that only they can survive, even when it’s at your expense. Because of this, you will have to learn to defend yourself as well and possibly kill a fellow human being because they wanted to kill you for your stuff and possibly teabag your corpse. Of course, this is just the icing on the cake compared to the next point.
5) Crazy survivors + lawlessness = YOU ARE SCREWED
Once you realize that not every survivor you meet is friendly and may want to kill and rob you blind, you’ll start to go a bit paranoid and you won’t be the only person with this mindset. People will start to get worried that every person that they meet only cares about using their supplies and will ditch them later on, plus they will also get scared that the next person they meet will kill them just because. Without the law of society to protect you, there won’t be anything to stop a person from just walking up and killing you in your sleep or raping you because there was nothing else to hump. While it’s true that you could do the same, to live a life where it’s either survive or die will not sit well with the average person. On top of this, you will have people who will pretend to help you out, only to backstab you later on because they were in it only for themselves. It’s like everyone decided they were The Spy from Team Fortress 2, minus the awesome accent and cloaking abilities. Remember all those internet tough guys that would post comments on YouTube videos that they would mess up that person in the video if they were messed with? Let’s see them handle this.
6) Being a woman and having children in a zombie outbreak would suck
Since survival of the fittest would come into full swing during a zombie outbreak, this would also mean that women will become an extremely vital part of the new world and have to contribute to future generations by bearing children. In this scenario, the woman becomes nothing but a receiver for sex so she can bear lots of children and holy crap will she be in lots of stress and pain from all the childbirth. If the men doing the “work” wants to do more to the woman than just planting his seed, whose to say that he will demand more sexual pleasure to fulfill his needs whether the woman wants it or not? As for the children, not only they have to grow up in a world where they can die at any moment from a zombie or a psycho survivor, but it also means sacrificing your supplies to ensure that the children are safe and having to work extra hard to make sure they are kept safe from any enemies. Unlike escort missions in video games, there’s no reset button if you screw up in protecting a kid.
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