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Even Jesus can't save it.
Platform : PC
Publisher : N'Lightning
Year : 1997
A catechuman is a person receiving instruction in the Christian religion in order to be baptized, making the concept for this first-person shooter nearly as bad as its nigh unpronounceable name.
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| World Soccer Winning Eleven 5: Final Evolution |
29 |
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The future is long-winded.
Platform : PS2
Publisher : Konami
Year : 2002
One ball, two numbers, seven words, fifteen syllables. How hard is it to just call the thing 'soccer'?
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Worst...service...ever.
Platform : NES
Publisher : Taito
Year : 1992
"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup."
"AAAAHHHHH!!!! A f*ckin fly?! NOOOO!!! WHYYY! Now everything is ruined! Quick, call the police! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
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Yavol, mein hammenfuhrer.
Platforms : Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC
Publisher : CRL
Year : 1987
Let the turtles be ninjas and let the hamsters just be hamsters, please. And is it me, or is that rodent wearing a Hitler moustache while doing a little Sieg Heil salute?
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He sure is and they sure are.
Platform : N64
Publisher : Acclaim
Year : 1998
Iggy the ball stars in this oddly misspelled racing game. We're just glad he's not "wreckin" balls, because that sounds terribly painful.
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I dare you to squeeze their cheeks.
Platforms : NES
Publisher : Nihon Busson
Year : 1987
Though the Japanese are traditionally obsessed with panties, they switched gears in this top-down action romp. Should have been subtitled Tits for Tots.
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Avoid the Noid.
Platforms : NES, Arcade
Publisher : Capcom
Year : 1990
Plenty of companies have used video games as thinly veiled advertising vehicles. Chester Cheetah had two games, and those talking M&M's had four. But none had a title as stupid as this one from the doomed Domino's Pizza mascot.
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| Lee Trevino's Fighting Golf |
23 |
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Fore, bitch!
Platforms : NES, Arcade
Publisher : SNK
Year : 1988
No sport promotes fighting like golf does. Wait a second - no it doesn't, and there's no fighting in Fighting Golf either, just golf. WTF?
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| Astro Fang: Super Machine |
22 |
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Makes thousands of julienne fries!
Platform : NES
Publisher : A Wave
Year : 1989
It's a racing game, it's a can opener, it removes stubborn stains and it melts away those extra pounds like magic! But wait, there's more! No, there's not!
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You can say that again.
Platform : PC
Publisher : CDV
Year : 2002
Bringing the term "God complex " to retarded new heights, this recent RPG's titular redundancy is truly unholy.
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| Eggs of Steel: Charlie's Eggcellent Adventure |
20 |
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The yolk's on us.
Platform : Playstation
Publisher : Atlus
Year : 1998
Another one from the Over-Pun archives. Help Charlie the Egg save the giant factory! Ugh. We always knew too many eggs were bad for you.
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| Barkley: Shut Up And Jam! |
19 |
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I want QUIET! AND SLAM DUNKS!
Platform : Genesis
Publisher : Accolade
Year : 1993
Part command, part suggestion. We keep waiting for Kenny Smith to scream this at a babbling, incoherent Sir Charles during a TNT broadcast.
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Starring Ron Jeremy.
Platforms : PC
Publisher : Activision
Year : 1989
There's nothing like getting a little tongue from the fatman, which is precisely what this bizarre yet nauseating fighting game delivered. At least it didn't have John Madden in it.
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| Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together |
17 |
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Have you hugged an ogre today?
Platform : Playstation
Publisher : Atlus
Year : 1997
Solidarity with ogres was definitely a key issue for whomever came up with the title for this turn-based strategy game. Either that or they were on ecstasy.
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| Rosco McQueen - Firefighter Extreme |
16 |
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Flame on.
Platform : Playstation
Publisher : Psygnosis
Year : 1997
Rosco is hot stuff in his his most extremely flaming video game yet! And when he whips out his hose, you'll burn with the desire to play with it!
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One is the loneliest number.
Platform : Playstation
Publisher : Squaresoft
Year : 1996
Especially in this case, since nobody outside of Japan ever saw another Tobal game. Maybe they should have taken a clue from George Lucas and started with No. 4...
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I think George Bush gets these.
Platform : PC
Publisher : Infogrames
Year : 1998
Do you love the smell of napalm in the morning? Like, really, really love it? So do the overstimulated dorks behind this atrocious strategy game.
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| GOLF Magazine Presents 36 Great Holes Starring Fred Couples |
13 |
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I wonder what this game is about?
Platform : Sega 32X
Publisher : Sega
Year : 1994
Sponsor? Check. Number of Holes? Check. Quality of Holes? Check. Pro Endorsement? Check. Our attention span? Checked out three holes ago.
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RLY TRRBLE NME
Platform : NES
Publisher : Hudson Soft
Year : 1989
This side-scrolling shooter takes place just after a nuclear holocaust. The survivors must have mutated a second tongue, because they named their new nation XEXYZ.
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| No One Can Stop Mr. Domino! |
11 |
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Especially if you tip him over.
Platforms : Playstation
Publisher : Acclaim
Year : 1998
Artdink has made lots of weird games, but this is their most threatening. Mr. Domino knows where you live, bitch!
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