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Windows 10 Review for Dummies
By Ivory_Soul
Posted on 08/11/15
After all these years, and growing up with Windows 3.1, I have seen an entire evolution of computers and software. Touch screens and large resolutions were a pipe dream just 15 years ago. Now it's the norm. Going from a Packard Bell (yes, before HP) that couldn't run 3D Ultra Mini...

GR's Best of E3 2005 Awards

Posted on Sunday, June 12 @ 11:12:31 PST by Duke_Ferris


Platform: PC
Publisher: EA
Developer: Maxis
Planned Release Date: 2007
More Likely Release Date: 2015

Rumor has it there were over 1000 games at E3. To GR, there was really only 1.

The fact that Ben got a chance to see Will Wright's heavily-guarded pet while the rest of the staff didn't might make this award sound a little dubious, but you should hear him talk about it. Blah blah blah, all day long with the awesome clay creature designer, the incredible procedural animation technology, the epic scope. He makes a strong case, though, particularly since nothing else at E3 even came close to capturing the total bizarre-o creativity of this thing. Hence, it wins! Now if only they could make that release date evolve a little...


Stubbs the Zombie

Platform: PC | Xbox
Publisher: Aspyr
Developer: Wideload
Planned Release Date: 2005
Number Of Brains Devoured By Then: 644

For years we have petitioned for zombie rights. For years we have clamored for zombie justice. For years we have decried the foul practice of obliterating our wormy brothers for the sheer sake of retaining our mostly pointless brains.

After years and years of abuse by those smarmy "living" people, it's time to exact some revenge. Stubbs certainly wasn't the biggest game at E3, but it was one of our favorites due to its impeccable zombie style and undead attitude. The fact that it lets you convert humans to your cause by dining on their gray matter helps, too, and the Halo engine doesn't hurt much, either. Then again, zombies don't avoid pain - they thrive on it.



Platform: PC | Xbox 360
Publisher: 2K Games
Developer: Human Head
Planned Release Date: 2006
Originally Shown: E3 1998!

Good things come to those who wait, but this is ridiculous.

We first saw Prey at a behind-closed doors meeting last century, when E3 was held in Atlanta and when GT Interactive was considered a non-bankrupt company. It looked pretty cool with its fancy portal technology and weird Native American themes, and we were interested to see how it would develop. After all, it was being made by 3D Realms, the guys responsible for Duke Nukem Forever, and that thing looked amazing.

HAHAHA! Joke's on us.

But while Duke Nukem Forever has taken up permanent residence in the Where Are They Now? file, Prey somehow managed to escape its vaporware destiny thanks to the crew at Human Head studios, who managed to bring it back to life and dress it in all kinds of new, groovy effects. Frankly, it was the coolest first-person shooter at the show.

Just imagine what it might be like in another seven years! Get to work, gang.


We Love Katamari

Platform: PS2
Publisher: Namco
Developer: Namco Crazy People
Relationship disaster potential: Limitless

A double-edged award, no doubt.

On one hand, We Love Katamari will most likely draw us into the wickedly addictive, hilariously fun world of the Prince and his sassy dad all over again. We expect to give up eating, sleeping and drinking (well, maybe not drinking) for a week straight as we roll, roll, and roll some more in this anticipated sequel.

But there is a dark underbelly to the beast. We Love Katamari will feature what might be the most aggravating co-op multiplayer concept ever - two people controlling one ball at the same time. The left stick moves the ball. The right stick moves the ball. Somehow, you and your mate must agree to move in the same direction, or twiddle your thumbs in frustration as you play Katamari tug-of-war. We tried it for five minutes at E3 and got into no less than six screaming matches. "GO RIGHT! RIIIGHT!! YOU RETARD! WHAT PART OF "RIGHT" DID YOUR DEAF ASS INTERPRET AS "LEFT!"

Joe and Duke still won't speak to one another. They're so sensitive.

>> PAGE 3: This is getting exciting! More awards, please!



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