GR's Best of E3 2005 Awards

Robbie Bach, Microsoft

In case you were wondering what happens to someone's brain when it spends too much time locked in a giant bubble in Redmond, Washington, here's some insight.

One billion. That's a 1 with NINE zeroes. That's one sixth of the human population on planet Earth.

Which, by the way, is not where Mr. Bach happens to reside.

Three hours prior to Robbie's ramblings, Sony announced at their press conference that 190 million Playstation units have been sold worldwide. That's Playstation + PS2. That's a lot, easily the most of any console system, and it took ten years to get there. To get to 20% of Robbie's sweet goal.

Now, we're all for outrageous plans and outrageous dreams and outrageous ideas of one's self-worth, but to actually barf out ONE BILLION when talking about the number of people you want sitting around playing video games is a little too outrageous for even our game-addicted asses. A gamer born every minute? God, we better start working out so we don't die and ruin the dream!

To put this into even more perspective, since its launch, the Xbox has sold through about 15 million units. Best of luck to you and yours, Robbie. Call us when you hit 50, kay?

GUN!

When rumors started swirling about Neversoft's first non-Tony Hawk game, we all took interest. When that title was revealed to be GUN, our ears perked up. When we got to E3, we searched it out.

And found nothing at all.

Well, aside from giant posters bearing the cryptic words "From Neversoft," "Pull the trigger" "GUN," and "Fall 2005," a meaningless looping video and, astonishingly enough, a couple booth babes wearing GUN shirts. That's right - girls wearing shirts to promote a product that didn't make the trip.

Listen, we have enough games to deal with at E3, Activision. We don't need to be confused trying to find games that aren't there. Think of the children...or at least your budget.

Agetec's Anti-Booth Babes

We saved the best for last. Sorta.

FYI: That dude with the red hair kinda looks like Duke.