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FEATURED VOXPOP whytenoiz ~~        When I was eleven years old, it was a very good year, and I can remember my daily routine vividly. These were the years before I owned a Sony Playstation, and I used to venture to my friends house - everyday after school - to watch him play through Final...

Duke's Guide to E3

Posted on Thursday, June 2 @ 11:12:13 Eastern by Duke_Ferris

Everybody is doing video, or so they tell me. So as part of the subset that is everyone, I have made some video. Apparently if you give me a couple of beers, a cameraman and an E3 badge, this is what you get. Whether or not what you really wanted was my nerdy self streaming at you from across the Internet is another issue entirely.

If you've never been to E3, you cannot begin to understand the consumer infomercial madness that pervades it. It's an insane barrage of light and noise that will freeze the unsuspecting like a deer in the headlights. I've attempted to convey some of that chaos in the following series of videos, which I lovingly refer to as Duke's Guide To E3!

This is an episodic series. All Episodes are online and ready to terrify. Consider yourself warned.
 

Welcome to E3, where porno midgets, talking stuffed animals, Ren Faire rejects and troublemakers like us are forced into close quarters together. Please check your sanity at the door. Meet the God of War! Or demigod. Or perhaps titan. We don't know for sure, but his performance is nothing short of heroic. Awesome.
   
It turns out quite a few showgoers were of the dead variety. We enjoy that sort of thing, so check out this footage of zombies doing what they do best: talk into microphones? It also turns out that quite a few showgoers were of the braindead variety. Perhaps they were attacked by the stars of Episode III...
   
Tucked somewhere between the South Hall and Butte, Montana, lies Kentia Hall, where would-be inventors hawk their absurd gaming hardware. Duke investigates and actually breaks a sweat. Or the Pac-Man guy talks, at least. Enjoy the wonders of miscellaneous footage!


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