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FEATURED VOXPOP LinksOcarina This is another article from Blistered Thumbs I wrote, back from the dead after being buried in the way-back machine. I posted this back in April of 2013, and many of the issues present seem to be prevalent right now in some cases, namely the decrees of sexism and misogony. Considering current...

The Least Scary Horror Games Ever.

Posted on Monday, October 31 @ 15:15:15 Eastern by Duke_Ferris

McFarlane's Evil Prophecy
Konami | PS2 | 2004

Todd McFarlane is supposedly the master of the grotesque, and certainly some of his work would lead you to that conclusion. This is not one of those works.

How they could have created a game with both "Evil" and "McFarlane" in the title and left out any frights is beyond us, but that's why we don't make the big bucks. Or action figures.

 

 

Crypt Killer
Konami | Playstation | 1997
Konami gets egged back to back thanks to this broken down port of a weak arcade game. The graphics were so bad, you could hardly tell the difference between an evil skeleton and an evil wall of stone - not that it mattered, since both objects spurted blood when shot with the inaccurate light gun. And has anyone been frightened by the fish monster from Creature from the Black Lagoon since 1954? No. No, they haven't.

 

 

The first Phantasmagoria was a pretty creepy interactive movie/adventure game, but this sequel was an insult to celluloid. It was also an insult to gaming thanks to the terrifyingly bad puzzles.

To whit: in order to get your wallet out from under the couch, you had to let your pet rat crawl under it and then lure it out with a granola bar. Much better than just moving the couch. It's a puzzle this thing was ever released.

 


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