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Seven Ways to Prepare for 'Stick of Truth'

Posted on Sunday, March 2 @ 09:00:00 PST by ryanbates

STEP FIVE: Grow some thick skin, because just like the show, nothing is sacred.

As the New Kid in South Park, you can select from one of a few classes: brawling Fighters, magical Mages, lithe Thieves, or Jews.

You read that right: Jew is a class. A Jew, in Stick of Truth, is akin to a Berserker in the Final Fantasy cosmos. But, as Cartman will point out, “A Jew cannot be a savior.”

Get used to it, because that's just the beginning. Just like the series, everything, and that means everything, is fair game. In fact, parts of the game are so vicious—and funny—that they were censored in parts of the world, including most European markets. Don't worry, though; there's still plenty of rated M-for-Mature humor to be found, including (as listed by the ESRB):
  • Decapitation
  • Anal probing
  • An entire area in a character's rectum
  • Sex toys (yes, some of them belong to Liane Cartman).
  • Cartoon nudity
  • Methamphetamine
  • And more “f**ks,” “a**holes,” and even (ugh) six-letter f-nukes than you can shake a stick at. (OK, I'll say it -- kinda... "fa**ot." I mean, the Mr. Garrison Rule and all that.)

STEP SIX: Parts of this game are crappy.

And that's putting it mildly. South Park not only goes for the cheap poop joke, it revels in it. Of course, Mr. Hankey is involved somehow, but beyond that, even the toilet jokes are extra toilet-y. For example, want a new projectile? New Kid can make it himself. How? Easy. Just go into the bathroom, and... well... drop a deuce in the urinal. Then... well... pick it up. Projectile acquired.

A key component of the game also concerns your gluteous maximus to master the art of the fart holds critical importance. “It was really important,” said co-creator Trey Parker, “that you didn't just press a button to fart. You need to feel it go out of your a**hole.” Farting is so important that players can get Xbox Achievements for farting on people, on animals, and even your buddies. And if that grosses you out, you don't even want to know about the achievements involving feces.

For the record, for those keeping score at home, in the fifth season episode of “It Hits the Fan,” the residents of South Park say the word “shit” uncensored 162 times. Don't be surprised if Stick of Truth works to match that.

STEP SEVEN: Come for the solid RPG play, stay for the fanservice.

It's important to note that underneath all the silly South Park stuff Obsidian Entertainment has made a legitimately solid RPG in the vein of Paper Mario. It's no cakewalk, and unlike the Acclaim games, Stick of Truth been given the attention it so richly deserves by both Obsidian and South Park Studios. The game promises to challenge even the most seasoned RPG player, and the gameplay, deeply rooted in turn-based RPG tradition, could potentially draw in gamers left dissatisfied by recent Final Fantasy offerings, even if they're not a huge fan of the series.

With that being said, the game clearly stands as a big, sloppy, tongue-on-tongue kiss to fans who have stuck by South Park for all these years. It's damn near impossible not to turn somewhere in game and see a series reference. Underwear Gnomes, Gingers, Faith +1, Crab People, and even an entire side quest involving Chinpokomon drop reference after reference to series episodes, leaving fans of the series dry heaving joy and shock simultaneously, much like the show.

SIDE NOTE: When I was an English major in college at UCSB, never did I imagine I would professionally write the phrase “dry-heaving joy and shock.” But with the promise of one of the best RPGs in quite some time wrapped in a delicious taco full of Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and even Cartman, I'm glad I did.

Yeah, I said it. I'm glad I did. Don't judge!... FINE! Screw you guys... I'm going home.

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