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RIP Ralph Baer (1922-2014) I really, really hate writing obits. I really do. But I take it as a personal honor to be able to say good things about the men and women I respect, whether in this industry or just in my life, and Ralph Baer is the reason all of this exists in the first...

Shooting Gallery

Posted on Friday, July 27 @ 00:00:00 Eastern by JP_Hurh
Bioshock

You are an Aquarius. No, that’s not right. You are an aquarium.

You are made of glass and are full of water. You contain many fishes, for you are a large aquarium who prides itself on keeping a full and friendly tank. You have a secret, though. It’s contained in the cheap plastic box designed to look like a pirate’s chest nestled among your coral. What’s inside? Forbidden knowledge? Fish poop? No one knows.

Although you have no hands, no brain, and no money, if you were to buy a shooter it would have to be Bioshock, and not just because it takes place underwater. Like your own reflective surface, Bioshock gleams with high-production values. And the antique look and feel of the shrouded and abandoned city hides a secret as closely kept as the one in your pirate chest.

Mysterious and atmospheric also describe the iconic inhabitants that you will meet: the Big Brothers and Little Sisters. But they probably aren’t any relatives of yours. From what we’ve seen, they are more deadly than the spleen of the blowfish swimming in you. Seafood might not be everyone’s cup of chowder, but you will take to Bioshock like a fish to a fryer.


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