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Will the Real God of War Please Stand Up?

Heavenly Sword

The man posing as Kratos at this party was actually Nariko, the heroine of Sony's upcoming hack, slash and button mash extravaganza, Heavenly Sword.

Her Kratos impersonation was spot on. If the throngs of brainless enemies closed in too tight, she'd roll away, or grab a baddy, and fling him into his buddies.

Just like Kratos.

She also did a flawless version of the war god's signature theatrics, flipping around on a collapsing bridge to various button prompts. She wasn't wearing any red paint, but she did have dual chain whips with knives at each end.

There's only one explanation: The two of them must be dating.

And if she's wearing his whip knives, he's probably wearing her underwear.


God of War: Chains of Olympus

I could have asked, because he was at the party, but the thought of a chain-knife-whip-wedgie stayed my query. Then again, Kratos is surprisingly short in person. In fact, he was only an inch tall in his new home on the Sony PSP. But he's as impressive as ever.

From what I saw and played, developer Ready at Dawn has already nailed the gameplay of the Gods.

But if you aren't familiar with the studio's other PSP title, Daxter, know this: they won't be happy merely imitating Kratos. Daxter, for instance, had no loading times, because they were able to stream everything.

These guys are wizards at work within the tower walls of PSP hardware; it's entirely possible that their creation will storm console heaven, much as Kratos did, and strike a blow against the bigger Gods of War.

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