The Most Action Packed Box Art You'll Ever See
Posted on Wednesday, April 10 @ 16:15:00 Eastern by Daniel Bischoff
This is just a collection of incredibly action-packed box arts, nothing more, nothing less. So, why waste time explaining things to you? Because that's exactly what these box arts do! Most video games are impossible to grasp by their title alone, so these box arts go well out of their way to throw explosions, shooting, and high-octane action at you as much as possible. Well, except for our first entry.
What I don't get is how each of these incredibly energetic, fit, and action-oriented people could have ignored the descriptor right on the box! You can't play Dance Aerobics on your Nintendo Entertainment System without the Power Pad, people! When are we going to get this through your headband-wearing skulls? I guess when you're this action-packed, you've got no time for instructions.
And someone needs to tell that space-ship pilot that there's a gigantic tail behind him because I don't think he can see out of the cockpit in that direction. There's just way too much going on in this box art. It's almost too action-packed. That's probably why the background is completely black. I think the designers probably had like a car crash or something behind the monsters but they were like "woah, time to bring it back in." In… to what? We're in space and a car crash wouldn't make sense.
Obviously in Ninja Gaiden you play as a ninja, but did you know that the game was "A Strategic Encounter" and "The Fight of Your Life"? No? Well you should have! It's right there on the damn box! It's OK because you were probably distracted by the fact that everything on the box is on f***ing fire and basically this Ninja already screwed up and failed to save this city. Let's see if you can do better in the game.
It even lets you use the freaking Rumble Pak! That's action you can feel, or at least action you can try a few times, use the batteries up, and then never use again. The one problem with Goldeneye 007's box is that it features a satellite dish. This isn't a list of the most science-and-technology focused box art, OK? Keep that stuff out of here.
Far Cry's box shows other boxes that action-packed covers don't need to throw a bunch of gaudy graphics at the potential purchaser. You just need the hint of action, the hint of destruction and explosions, to hook that person and never let them go. I mean, even the logo is a little beat up. Nothing suggests high-octane thrills than a font that's seen better days.
Microsoft earns its spot on the action-packed box art feature because STUFF IS FLYING AFTER A CAR AND THEY'RE BOTH SHOOTING AT EACH OTHER. Simply amazing. Obviously it would have been pretty interesting to see the player's character in the car, or maybe feature that really awesome bit of gameplay front and center, but then you'd be losing the whole "you're going to shoot things" message, so….
It's so bad ass that his buddy on the left side is trying to catch up just so he can join in. Honestly, what else do you need to see on a box to get you to buy it? Just buy this game, open it, install it, wait for the drivers to update, launch it, and play. Then you'll know why you bought this game…. Hint: it's for the action.
OK, so there isn't much going on in this Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney cover from Capcom, but there's definitely the suggestion of action. Maybe you see this on store shelves and you think "this must be one of those new first-pointer simulators, or FPS games," so you take it home, throw it in your machine and suddenly you realize this game is amazing. Who gives a sh** what the box art looks like right?
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