Top 5 Things NOT To Do in Battlefield 3
Posted on Wednesday, November 2 @ 16:42:25 PST by David_C
1. No Fly Zone
Now, I am not saying you shouldn't try different things in the game, but know your strengths and weaknesses. Too many times I have had to hop in a helo by some so-called piloting wizard, only for it to end up flying 2 feet in the air and then flipping over on its side, killing the whole entire crew. Or even worse, damaging the hell out of the helo and somehow getting it stuck in the fucking ground.
Last time I checked, they did not outfit my engineer with power armor to flip over the vehicle. If you do decide to man one of the vehicles, take your time with it and read the manual to learn the combat controls. If you suck at it, don't drive it.
2. Leroy Jenkins
There is something special when someone leads an army charge of one straight for the enemy in the hopes of catching them off guard—and by "special", I mean "special ed". This maneuver ultimately leads to your demise and it will make your career very short on the battlefield.
The best thing to do is to grab any bit of cover, be it a large boulder or a porcelain toilet—it will be the fucking teddy bear that will protect you from the scary monsters that are bullets, death, and the occasional teabag that follows after. While in urban settings, hug the walls while walking down any narrow corridors to limit your exposure, and check your corners for anyone camping. They are usually the ones with the tents, smores, and the bullets to sodomize you with.
3. Speak Up!
Nothing chaps my ass more than people not having mics or, more so, the people with mics who don't use it. Just because there are a few jackasses online that have the social aptitude of a blubbering man-child doesn't mean everyone with a mic is out to troll you. So break out the mics, turn up the volume, and nut up, son, because communicating is the number one reason behind victories. That is why this is a team game, double emphasis on the word "TEAM".
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