Top 5 Things NOT To Do in Battlefield 3

Posted on Wednesday, November 2 @ 16:42:25 Eastern by David_C

After logging many hours in Battlefield 3, dumping a bevy of munitions into other players' heads and generally being a damn prick to the gen pop of players, I have come to one conclusion: There is a lot of maggots out there that play like this is a run-and-gun shooter (*cough*call of duty*cough*). Oh, but there is a simple remedy and that's following these 5 simple things NOT to do while playing this tough tactical shooter.

1. No Fly Zone

Now, I am not saying you shouldn't try different things in the game, but know your strengths and weaknesses. Too many times I have had to hop in a helo by some so-called piloting wizard, only for it to end up flying 2 feet in the air and then flipping over on its side, killing the whole entire crew. Or even worse, damaging the hell out of the helo and somehow getting it stuck in the fucking ground.

Last time I checked, they did not outfit my engineer with power armor to flip over the vehicle. If you do decide to man one of the vehicles, take your time with it and read the manual to learn the combat controls. If you suck at it, don't drive it.

2. Leroy Jenkins

There is something special when someone leads an army charge of one straight for the enemy in the hopes of catching them off guard—and by "special", I mean "special ed". This maneuver ultimately leads to your demise and it will make your career very short on the battlefield.

The best thing to do is to grab any bit of cover, be it a large boulder or a porcelain toilet—it will be the fucking teddy bear that will protect you from the scary monsters that are bullets, death, and the occasional teabag that follows after. While in urban settings, hug the walls while walking down any narrow corridors to limit your exposure, and check your corners for anyone camping. They are usually the ones with the tents, smores, and the bullets to sodomize you with.

3. Speak Up!

Nothing chaps my ass more than people not having mics or, more so, the people with mics who don't use it. Just because there are a few jackasses online that have the social aptitude of a blubbering man-child doesn't mean everyone with a mic is out to troll you. So break out the mics, turn up the volume, and nut up, son, because communicating is the number one reason behind victories. That is why this is a team game, double emphasis on the word "TEAM".

4. Stop Halo Jumping

So there I am doing a recon for a forward push on the enemy frontline. My squad is mobilized and our guns are hot. We round the corner to engage the enemy... and they bounce away hoping that their tactic will make them a hard target. The truth is that this only makes me chuckle my ass off while I ventilate their brain. Hopping or Halo jumping gives you more exposure to enemy combatants and should never be done. What you should do is immediately go prone and head for cover if you find yourself under heavy fire. It will give you optimal time to regroup and push back.

5. Don't Knife The Air

The knife is a great way to get up close and personal, but you have to know when to use your knife. Now the problem with the Battlefield knife is that it is very slow, but slow for a reason. The knife is really meant for quiet kills and works best if you use it while you're approaching a target from behind. A frontal attack only should be used as a last resort when both primary and secondary weapons are completely depleted. So make sure to pull your head out of your ass next time you bring a knife to a gun fight.

Well, I hope these 5 simple ways how not to fuck up will allow you to flourish in the game. Just remember communication is vital to this game, along with the other skills. Apply them in a team effort and you will be ganking people left and right. Most importantly, you will be making friends on the mountain of death.

Related Games: Battlefield 3

Tags: EA, Battlefield

Comments

Dust2Dust12
Joined: Nov 2006

Posted: Nov 2nd, 2011 at 5:08 pm
This should be required reading for anyone playing the game. The same problems plagued MAG, which, despite its flaws, has lead me to some of the most thrilling gaming of my life. Not every game is COD, but it seems like the general populace of the shooting world wants to run and gun, accomplishing nothing.
Hell, it's so frustrating, I just hold back with the defibs out, ready to save the foolish players on my team.

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David_C
Joined: Sep 2009

Posted: Nov 6th, 2011 at 12:54 pm
I tried mag to and enjoyed it for a good while but it was also plagued with people not communicating and led to a series of miming and body gestures to get your point across. Games like this could be great with a simple microphone and a hello.

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Italion193
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Nov 2nd, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Should be the manual included in the game. smh smh smh smh

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tinymhg
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Nov 2nd, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Who the hell is David_C?

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J03
Joined: Aug 2011

Posted: Nov 2nd, 2011 at 7:49 pm
Not a clue, but he has good advice so he should probably speak up more and tell me what I'm doing wrong. Being told 'everything' is why I ditched the mic way back when. Going in with some info before I play a game works wonders.

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Nick_Tan
Joined: Jul 2006

Posted: Nov 2nd, 2011 at 8:48 pm
Full name is David Carlon. My roommate. Ex-GameStop employee. Mexicutioner. :p

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tinymhg
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Nov 2nd, 2011 at 9:01 pm
Ok. Thanks Nick. Maybe he can do some more writing for GR. I think he done good.

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213EDD
Joined: Sep 2007

Posted: Nov 2nd, 2011 at 8:02 pm
What is this I don’t even

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GuerillaMatzilla
Joined: May 2011

Posted: Nov 2nd, 2011 at 9:44 pm
This receives my seal of approval. It's true about how many people spawn camp the jets, but it's getting closer to the point where the new players, who just don't have what it takes are giving up. Especially if you have an experienced pilot on the other end with some engineer-stinger missile launchers on the ground.

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Ranim
Joined: Nov 2005

Posted: Nov 2nd, 2011 at 10:10 pm
top 1 thing to do: get an IFNV and never lose a fight again.

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Ranim
Joined: Nov 2005

Posted: Nov 2nd, 2011 at 10:11 pm
I meant IRNV

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sandineyes
Joined: May 2008

Posted: Nov 2nd, 2011 at 10:44 pm
Haven't picked up BF3 yet, but if it is anything like BFBC2, then there are times where jumping out of a helo right onto an MCOM station is worth the risk if you have one of those teams that are too busy lvling up recon to try and win.

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Rinnon
Joined: Nov 2005

Posted: Nov 3rd, 2011 at 1:52 am
Also, here is a helpful VG Cats Comic on the subject from yesteryear:

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Rinnon
Joined: Nov 2005

Posted: Nov 3rd, 2011 at 1:52 am
Freaking not linking of URL's plus no Edit button. www. vgcats. com/ comics/ ?strip_id=156

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friggest
Joined: Mar 2008

Posted: Nov 3rd, 2011 at 1:52 am
Flying the helo has a steep learning curve. Even after you've got the hang of not crashing instantly will you still screw up and slam into something. For everyone sitting next to me when this happens, I apologize. I do have a mic to try and yell "BAIL! BAIL! BAIL!" when I know that we are going down which does seem to minimize peoples deaths.

Flying the jet is much much easier except when you need to line up to the target. It seems that I can only fly on my side.

I find the most frustrating thing with this game, bar none, is trying to spawn on a teammate only to get killed instantly. It seems like it happens a hell of a lot.

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MarkyBee
Joined: Mar 2007

Posted: Nov 3rd, 2011 at 7:34 am
I reckon they should have implemented a vehicle purchase system where by at the beginning of your game, each team gets distributed a small amount of coin to buy vehicles - from squad leader down - and capturing objectives nets your squad more money to drop in vehicles for use later in the battle... Or a mechanic class should be devoted to spawning vehicles for the team at certain locations... or some kind of game-mechanic should have been built to prevent vehicle spawn camping atleast it's annoying the 3rd proper incarnation of this game hasn't seen that problem fixed yet.

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