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I had planned to write something about the Borderlands series, but that will have to wait. I have something I need to get off my chest first. It's very personal, and I hope the two or three of you who follow my sparse blog will spare me this moment. I joked in my review for the bizarre...

Top 5 Things NOT To Do in Battlefield 3

Posted on Wednesday, November 2 @ 16:42:25 Eastern by David_C


After logging many hours in Battlefield 3, dumping a bevy of munitions into other players' heads and generally being a damn prick to the gen pop of players, I have come to one conclusion: There is a lot of maggots out there that play like this is a run-and-gun shooter (*cough*call of duty*cough*). Oh, but there is a simple remedy and that's following these 5 simple things NOT to do while playing this tough tactical shooter.


1. No Fly Zone

Now, I am not saying you shouldn't try different things in the game, but know your strengths and weaknesses. Too many times I have had to hop in a helo by some so-called piloting wizard, only for it to end up flying 2 feet in the air and then flipping over on its side, killing the whole entire crew. Or even worse, damaging the hell out of the helo and somehow getting it stuck in the fucking ground.

Last time I checked, they did not outfit my engineer with power armor to flip over the vehicle. If you do decide to man one of the vehicles, take your time with it and read the manual to learn the combat controls. If you suck at it, don't drive it.


2. Leroy Jenkins

There is something special when someone leads an army charge of one straight for the enemy in the hopes of catching them off guardand by "special", I mean "special ed". This maneuver ultimately leads to your demise and it will make your career very short on the battlefield.

The best thing to do is to grab any bit of cover, be it a large boulder or a porcelain toiletit will be the fucking teddy bear that will protect you from the scary monsters that are bullets, death, and the occasional teabag that follows after. While in urban settings, hug the walls while walking down any narrow corridors to limit your exposure, and check your corners for anyone camping. They are usually the ones with the tents, smores, and the bullets to sodomize you with.


3. Speak Up!

Nothing chaps my ass more than people not having mics or, more so, the people with mics who don't use it. Just because there are a few jackasses online that have the social aptitude of a blubbering man-child doesn't mean everyone with a mic is out to troll you. So break out the mics, turn up the volume, and nut up, son, because communicating is the number one reason behind victories. That is why this is a team game, double emphasis on the word "TEAM".


4. Stop Halo Jumping

So there I am doing a recon for a forward push on the enemy frontline. My squad is mobilized and our guns are hot. We round the corner to engage the enemy... and they bounce away hoping that their tactic will make them a hard target. The truth is that this only makes me chuckle my ass off while I ventilate their brain. Hopping or Halo jumping gives you more exposure to enemy combatants and should never be done. What you should do is immediately go prone and head for cover if you find yourself under heavy fire. It will give you optimal time to regroup and push back.


5. Don't Knife The Air

The knife is a great way to get up close and personal, but you have to know when to use your knife. Now the problem with the Battlefield knife is that it is very slow, but slow for a reason. The knife is really meant for quiet kills and works best if you use it while you're approaching a target from behind. A frontal attack only should be used as a last resort when both primary and secondary weapons are completely depleted. So make sure to pull your head out of your ass next time you bring a knife to a gun fight.


Well, I hope these 5 simple ways how not to fuck up will allow you to flourish in the game. Just remember communication is vital to this game, along with the other skills. Apply them in a team effort and you will be ganking people left and right. Most importantly, you will be making friends on the mountain of death.
Related Games:   Battlefield 3
Tags:   EA, Battlefield

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