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FEATURED VOXPOP oblivion437 Update: I was unfortunately not aware of Shamus Young's severe criticism of Fallout 3 available here to link in the original piece and I regret that.  It dovetails rather nicely with what I've written and it's much better executed than my piece.  I strongly recommend anyone...

Top 5 Worst Rockstar Games

Posted on Friday, May 11 @ 13:00:00 Eastern by

With Max Payne 3 hype reaching critical levels, it's time to look back and realize that... well, they can't all be winners. The little known ports will always be there to remind us that even the great minds behind Grand Theft Auto and Red Dead Redemption can falter. Here are the five worst Rockstar Games games:




5) Evel Knievel (Game Boy Color)

Yeah, an Evel Knievel game.... on Game Boy Color. Who knew there was so much to riding a motorcyle off a big jump? You've gotta tap a specific button, then you have to tap it harder, then you have to tap it faster. All the while you're being treated to hand-drawn crash scenes. Evel Knievel is forgotten for a reason: This game sucked.


4) Austin Powers: Welcome To My Underground Lair (Game Boy Color)

Rockstar released Welcome To My Underground Lair and Oh Behave! as a pair following the success of The Spy Who Shagged Me. The duo of Austin Powers Game Boy Color games were essentially operating systems inspired by the two Mike Myers characters. Underground Lair let players play a Pac-Man clone called "Mojo Maze" and... a Rock-Paper-Scissors clone. Needless to say, these were not groovy, baby, no.

Oh yeah, each title had Austin Powers inspired calculators too... so....


3) State of Emergency (Xbox)

I know many of you might saym "Hey, I had fun with State of Emergency! Why are you including this on a list of the worst Rockstar games?" To which I reply, "No, you're wrong. That game sucks."

State of Emergency played off of the World Trade Organization riots in Seattle, Washington and naturally earned the ire of politicians and parents, despite lacking the high-quality of Grand Theft Auto III. That's why you thought the game was cool. Because you were 11-years-old and you were probably thinking to yourself that you were going to be the founding member of a rap group called "F*** You." Jesus, you were such a snot-nosed punk.

In reality, State of Emergency was repetitive, difficult to control, repetitive, needlessly inciteful, repetitive, and violent. Did I mention that it was repetitive? Missions frequently repeated themselves; beating someone to death with a severed arm was only fun for the first hour. Rockstar smartly washed their hands of the franchise and moved on to bigger and better things.

Next up: the two worst games from Rockstar...
Tags:   Rockstar Games
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