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Welcome Back to the West
By oneshotstop
Posted on 08/01/16
The only thing that stops the dust is the rain. It’s a sweet reprieve, but there is no middle ground. The land is either as dry as the Betty Ford clinic, or as wet as the ocean floor. Everything can be seen from the ridge overlooking Armadillo as John Marston gently bounces along atop...

Top 5 Worst Rockstar Games

Posted on Friday, May 11 @ 13:00:00 PST by

And the worst two Rockstar Games Are....

2) Smuggler's Run (Game Boy Advance)

Sure, Smuggler's Run for the PS2 was fun! You got to drive around, go up huge mountains, and generally explore a huge environment while doing jumps and flips and sh**. Really, if you've never played this game splitscreen, you're missing out.

What wasn't fun was Smuggler's Run for the Game Boy Advance. The neat effects and physics were completely lost in the apocalyptic-grainy wasteland of the GBA. Let's not forget the complete void of anything resembling a sense of speed. At best the texture on the ground changes from one shade... to another.

I'm sure GBA owners appreciated the love from Rockstar, but there were times during Smuggler's Run that it actual felt like vitriol and hate. The 29 missions were so unbelievably tedious and the AI you frequently raced against couldn't be bothered to try anything remotely clever.

All in all, Smuggler's Run was terrible, but not as terrible as....

1) Surfing H3O (PlayStation 2)

I have to pay respect to Dr. Moo's original review of Surfing H3O here at GameRevolution, so here are a few choice selections from his critique of the worst Rockstar game of all time: Surfing H30 already starts off with a huge strike against it simply because of its name. H30? What the hell is that? We all know that H20 is water. So what happens when you add an extra hydrogen molecule? More fun? Bigger waves? I'm no chemist, but if H20 = water, then H30 has got to equal something like The Blob.

Which, as it turns out, is a good analogy. Surfing H30 is a blob of a game, a mindless, wandering ball of gaming waste aiming to devour your money, though at least it comes with a free toy.

The big novelty here is a little plastic surfboard attachment that comes packaged with the game. You snap it on to the analog sticks, and suddenly pushing down on the sticks to activate the L3 and R3 buttons is made easier. I'll admit that the attachment has its charm for about 5 minutes, after which it becomes a great bathtub accessory. Surf's up, rubber duckie!

I should mention that playing without the little plastic surfboard is about as much fun as stabbing yourself in the eye with a little plastic surfboard. I'm not exaggerating.

The lackluster presentation, awkward control, and unbelievably shallow gameplay make this the first official bottom feeder for the PS2. Sic 'em, Jaws.

Can you think of any other horrible one-offs from Rockstar Games? Let us know in the comments! Max Payne 3 is available May 15th on Xbox 360 and PS3 and May 29th, on PC.
Tags:   Rockstar Games

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