Top 5 Worst Rockstar Games

Posted on Friday, May 11 @ 13:00:00 Eastern by Daniel Bischoff

And the worst two Rockstar Games Are....

2) Smuggler's Run (Game Boy Advance)

Sure, Smuggler's Run for the PS2 was fun! You got to drive around, go up huge mountains, and generally explore a huge environment while doing jumps and flips and sh**. Really, if you've never played this game splitscreen, you're missing out.

What wasn't fun was Smuggler's Run for the Game Boy Advance. The neat effects and physics were completely lost in the apocalyptic-grainy wasteland of the GBA. Let's not forget the complete void of anything resembling a sense of speed. At best the texture on the ground changes from one shade... to another.

I'm sure GBA owners appreciated the love from Rockstar, but there were times during Smuggler's Run that it actual felt like vitriol and hate. The 29 missions were so unbelievably tedious and the AI you frequently raced against couldn't be bothered to try anything remotely clever.

All in all, Smuggler's Run was terrible, but not as terrible as....

1) Surfing H3O (PlayStation 2)

I have to pay respect to Dr. Moo's original review of Surfing H3O here at GameRevolution, so here are a few choice selections from his critique of the worst Rockstar game of all time:

Surfing H30 already starts off with a huge strike against it simply because of its name. H30? What the hell is that? We all know that H20 is water. So what happens when you add an extra hydrogen molecule? More fun? Bigger waves? I'm no chemist, but if H20 = water, then H30 has got to equal something like The Blob.

Which, as it turns out, is a good analogy. Surfing H30 is a blob of a game, a mindless, wandering ball of gaming waste aiming to devour your money, though at least it comes with a free toy.

The big novelty here is a little plastic surfboard attachment that comes packaged with the game. You snap it on to the analog sticks, and suddenly pushing down on the sticks to activate the L3 and R3 buttons is made easier. I'll admit that the attachment has its charm for about 5 minutes, after which it becomes a great bathtub accessory. Surf's up, rubber duckie!

I should mention that playing without the little plastic surfboard is about as much fun as stabbing yourself in the eye with a little plastic surfboard. I'm not exaggerating.

The lackluster presentation, awkward control, and unbelievably shallow gameplay make this the first official bottom feeder for the PS2. Sic 'em, Jaws.

Can you think of any other horrible one-offs from Rockstar Games? Let us know in the comments! Max Payne 3 is available May 15th on Xbox 360 and PS3 and May 29th, on PC.

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Tags: Rockstar Games

Comments

cyberjim2000
Joined: Feb 2010

Posted: May 11th, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Did you know that the GTA games and Red Dead Redemption are actually Scottish games? Rockstar North is headquartered in Edinburgh, Scotland.

0 2

Longo_2_guns
Joined: Jun 2003

Posted: May 11th, 2012 at 1:23 pm
I liked Welcome to My Underground Lair. There were some fun minigames in there. Sorta. It was alright.

0 1

OdiousLupous
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: May 11th, 2012 at 1:27 pm
I honestly didnt hear of half these games and the ones I do know, didnt know they were Rockstar games... guess its good PR to not mention them.

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LinksOcarina
Joined: Nov 2005

Posted: May 11th, 2012 at 1:48 pm
So...where are the games Rockstar developed?

Cause all of those are just published by Rockstar.

1 0

sliverstorm
Joined: Jun 2007

Posted: May 11th, 2012 at 3:19 pm
How about Manhunt 2? Talk about pedaling backwards.

0 3

sliverstorm
Joined: Jun 2007

Posted: May 11th, 2012 at 3:20 pm
backpedaling. The term is backpedaling.

0 1

sliverstorm
Joined: Jun 2007

Posted: May 11th, 2012 at 3:22 pm
Oh GOD, and it's not even the right term!

0 1

Kakulukia
Joined: Nov 2005

Posted: May 11th, 2012 at 3:34 pm
I don't get the hate for Manhunt 2. I thought it was even better than the first. Sure, the graphics were fugly and it was censored to hell, but it played better than Manhunt 1. And that one got critical success.

0 2

tinymhg
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: May 11th, 2012 at 7:38 pm
Senior moment?

0 1

stefstimpy
Joined: Jul 2007

Posted: May 12th, 2012 at 4:44 am
Manhunt was an incredible game. The story and gameplay were excellent. One of my PS2 favourites. I really liked the way the use of the headset was incorporated into the gameplay too. Manhunt 2, even the uncensored version (which I imported for the Wii) was terrible.

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Ivory_Soul
Joined: Nov 2005

Posted: May 11th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
I played State of Emergency to death as a kid. The second one really sucked.

0 2

Kakulukia
Joined: Nov 2005

Posted: May 11th, 2012 at 3:32 pm
State of Emergency 2 was SOOO much worse than the first one.

0 1

TheJx4
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: May 12th, 2012 at 7:55 pm
I now have to try this game.

0 1

cheesegod99
Joined: Jun 2007

Posted: May 13th, 2012 at 10:10 pm
I said it in an original mailbag back in 2001, and I'll say it again now: Adding extra hydrogen to water makes it acidic, not viscous.

Sorry, I'm a bit anal about my science.

0 1