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The 50 Worst Game Names Ever

Posted on Monday, June 12 @ 11:12:13 Eastern by Duke_Ferris

 

Catechumen 30

Even Jesus can't save it.


Platform : PC
Publisher : N'Lightning
Year : 1997

A catechuman is a person receiving instruction in the Christian religion in order to be baptized, making the concept for this first-person shooter nearly as bad as its nigh unpronounceable name.

 


World Soccer Winning Eleven 5: Final Evolution 29

The future is long-winded.


Platform : PS2
Publisher : Konami
Year : 2002

One ball, two numbers, seven words, fifteen syllables. How hard is it to just call the thing 'soccer'?

 


Panic Restaurant 28

Worst...service...ever.


Platform : NES
Publisher : Taito
Year : 1992

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup."

"AAAAHHHHH!!!! A f*ckin fly?! NOOOO!!! WHYYY! Now everything is ruined! Quick, call the police! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 


Ninja Hamster 27

Ja wohl, mein hammenfuhrer.


Platforms : Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC
Publisher : CRL
Year : 1987

Let the turtles be ninjas and let the hamsters just be hamsters, please. And is it me, or is that rodent wearing a Hitler moustache while doing a little Sieg Heil salute?

 


Iggy's Reckin' Balls 26

He sure is and they sure are.


Platform : N64
Publisher : Acclaim
Year : 1998

Iggy the ball stars in this oddly misspelled racing game. We're just glad he's not "wreckin" balls, because that sounds terribly painful.

 


Booby Kids 25

I dare you to squeeze their cheeks.


Platforms : NES
Publisher : Nihon Busson
Year : 1987

Though the Japanese are traditionally obsessed with panties, they switched gears in this top-down action romp. Should have been subtitled Tits for Tots.

 


Yo! Noid 24

Avoid the Noid.


Platforms : NES, Arcade
Publisher : Capcom
Year : 1990

Plenty of companies have used video games as thinly veiled advertising vehicles. Chester Cheetah had two games, and those talking M&M's had four. But none had a title as stupid as this one from the doomed Domino's Pizza mascot.

 


Lee Trevino's Fighting Golf 23

Fore, bitch!


Platforms : NES, Arcade
Publisher : SNK
Year : 1988

No sport promotes fighting like golf does. Wait a second - no it doesn't, and there's no fighting in Fighting Golf either, just golf. WTF?

 


Astro Fang: Super Machine 22

Makes thousands of julienne fries!


Platform : NES
Publisher : A Wave
Year : 1989

It's a racing game, it's a can opener, it removes stubborn stains and it melts away those extra pounds like magic! But wait, there's more! No, there's not!

 


Divine Divinity 21

You can say that again.


Platform : PC
Publisher : CDV
Year : 2002

Bringing the term "God complex " to retarded new heights, this recent RPG's titular redundancy is truly unholy.

 

 

Eggs of Steel: Charlie's Eggcellent Adventure 20

The yolk's on us.


Platform : Playstation
Publisher : Atlus
Year : 1998

Another one from the Over-Pun archives. Help Charlie the Egg save the giant factory! Ugh. We always knew too many eggs were bad for you.

 


Barkley: Shut Up And Jam! 19

I want QUIET! AND SLAM DUNKS!


Platform : Genesis
Publisher : Accolade
Year : 1993

Part command, part suggestion. We keep waiting for Kenny Smith to scream this at a babbling, incoherent Sir Charles during a TNT broadcast.

 


Tongue of the Fatman 18

Starring Ron Jeremy.


Platforms : PC
Publisher : Activision
Year : 1989

There's nothing like getting a little tongue from the fatman, which is precisely what this bizarre yet nauseating fighting game delivered. At least it didn't have John Madden in it.

 


Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together 17

Have you hugged an ogre today?


Platform : Playstation
Publisher : Atlus
Year : 1997

Solidarity with ogres was definitely a key issue for whomever came up with the title for this turn-based strategy game. Either that or they were on ecstasy.

 


Rosco McQueen - Firefighter Extreme 16

Flame on.


Platform : Playstation
Publisher : Psygnosis
Year : 1997

Rosco is hot stuff in his his most extremely flaming video game yet! And when he whips out his hose, you'll burn with the desire to play with it!

 


Tobal No. 1 15

One is the loneliest number.


Platform : Playstation
Publisher : Squaresoft
Year : 1996

Especially in this case, since nobody outside of Japan ever saw another Tobal game. Maybe they should have taken a clue from George Lucas and started with No. 4...

 


Wargasm 14

I think George Bush gets these.


Platform : PC
Publisher : Infogrames
Year : 1998

Do you love the smell of napalm in the morning? Like, really, really love it? So do the overstimulated dorks behind this atrocious strategy game.

 


GOLF Magazine Presents 36 Great Holes Starring Fred Couples 13

I wonder what this game is about?


Platform : Sega 32X
Publisher : Sega
Year : 1994

Sponsor? Check. Number of Holes? Check. Quality of Holes? Check. Pro Endorsement? Check. Our attention span? Checked out three holes ago.

 


XEXYZ 12

RLY TRRBLE NME


Platform : NES
Publisher : Hudson Soft
Year : 1989

This side-scrolling shooter takes place just after a nuclear holocaust. The survivors must have mutated a second tongue, because they named their new nation XEXYZ.

 


No One Can Stop Mr. Domino! 11

Especially if you tip him over.


Platforms : Playstation
Publisher : Acclaim
Year : 1998

Artdink has made lots of weird games, but this is their most threatening. Mr. Domino knows where you live, bitch!

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