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FEATURED VOXPOP oblivion437 Update: I was unfortunately not aware of Shamus Young's severe criticism of Fallout 3 available here to link in the original piece and I regret that.  It dovetails rather nicely with what I've written and it's much better executed than my piece.  I strongly recommend anyone...

The 50 Worst Game Names Ever

Posted on Monday, June 12 @ 11:12:13 Eastern by Duke_Ferris

 

Totally Rad 10

Like, awesomely bad name, dude.


Platform : NES
Publisher : Jaleco
Year : 1991

In this platformer, regular Californian dude Jake is given magical powers to go save the bodacious babe, Allison. The resulting lesson: never, ever, let the marketing department name your game. Gnarly.

 


James Pond II: Codename RoboCod 9

A wet pun.


Platforms : Genesis, Game Boy Advance
Publisher : EA
Year : 1991

Fishing for compliments? Hehehe. Searching for sole? For sole - get it? Hey, you're still a great crowd!

 


Psybadek 8

D'oh!


Platform : Playstation
Publisher : Psygnosis
Year : 1998

"Psydeck" would have been fine, but they just had to add an extraneous "ba" to screw it up. In case you wondered what would happen if you asked Homer Simpson to name your hoverboard video game, now you know. Saxamaphone.

 


Nuts & Milk 7

Two great tastes that make no sense together.


Platform : NES
Publisher : Hudson Soft
Year : 1984

Hey! You got your nuts in my milk! Hey! You got your milk on my nuts! Mmmmm.

 


Huygen's Disclosure 6

Dutch physicists have all the fun.


Platform : PC
Publisher : Microforum
Year : 1999

Spoiler Warning: Each point of an advancing wave front is in fact the center of a fresh disturbance and the source of a new train of waves; and the advancing wave as a whole may be regarded as the sum of all the secondary waves arising from points in the medium already traversed. Sign us up!

 

 

Bad Dudes vs. Dragon Ninja 5

Dumb names vs. your quarters.


Platforms : Arcade, NES, Apple II, PC, Amiga
Publisher : Data East
Year : 1988

If you were worried about these dudes taking on the Dragon Ninja, don't. They're bad in a good way. Unlike their title, which is bad in a terrible way.

 


Pesterminator: The Western Exterminator 4

I'll be back...with Raid!


Platform : NES
Publisher : Color Dreams
Year : 1990

This lame side-scroller was based on Kernel Kleanup, a mascot of the real life
Western Exterminator Company. They should be squished for this horrific naming transgression.

 


Mobile Suit Gundam: Gundam vs. Zeta Gundam 3

Gundam, spam, eggs, and gundam.


Platform : Playstation 2
Publisher : Namco
Year : 2005

A gundam is a giant robot, and there are plenty of them battling it out in this game. There are plenty of them battling it out in the title, too. Malkovich malkovich.

 


If It Moves, Shoot It! 2

And if it lives, shoot it again!


Platform : PC
Publisher : Broderbund
Year : 1989

Excellent advice, but we have some, too - don't let your title double as the instruction manual for, like, a thousand other games.

 


Irritating Stick 1

And we have a winner. Please pass the ointment.


Platform : Playstation
Publisher : Jaleco
Year : 1999

While it's refreshingly honest that the game actually tells you that it's irritating before you buy it, as a name, it's terrible. It's so bad, in fact, that we bought a copy about five years ago and haven't opened it because we don't want to. Because it's irritating.

Props to VG Museum and Allgame for their informative game libraries.

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