PREVIEWSPillars of Eternity Preview
For Obsidian's crowdfunded love letter to Infinity Engine games like Icewind Dale and Baldur's Gate, I was impressed by its willingness to pull back the curtain and let me see the machinery behind it.
We've all been there. Everyone remembers that mission. You and your partner are climbing up the mountains in the snow, striving to pull some slick clandestine operation about getting some intel on a bad guy, or something similar (because let's face...
As much as we love applauding the victors, who doesn’t get that special thrill from the schadenfreude of watching a complete disaster? These games are just loaded with extra fail. Of course, it would have been more fun if we didn’t have to play them.
#5 Hour of Victory – Proof that you can win the battle and still lose the war. Wait a sec, this game doesn’t even win the battle. With brain-dead soldiers, and three “completely different” ways to play that are all the same, any hours spent here are on the losing side.
#4 Godzilla Unleashed Double Smash – What happens when you take a giant city-stomping monster and shrink him down to the DS? This side scroller is what happens - and it’s not pretty: Lousy graphics, no rational way to save, and a slow, plodding monster punching boats. Root for Mothra instead.
#3 The Golden Compass – It always seems that basing your game on a movie is a recipe for disaster. Nobody can ever seem to get it right, and even with high adventure, a shapeshifting demon, and an armored bear, The Golden Compass completely fails to be fun. With dozens of gameplay mechanics, none of which work right, this compass points straight to the bottom. However, it could be worse…
#2 Aqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-Am – … You could be forced to base your game on a TV series. Stoners the world round enjoy the show, but when a game actually tells you right off the bat how lame it’s going to be, you really only have yourself to blame. Note to developers: Making a bad game on purpose is not ironic; it’s just bad.
#1 Jenga World Tour – Bringing us to that coveted number one spot takes a game like Jenga World Tour for the Wii, a game that is actually impossible to play. Now that’s something special. With broken physics in a game that is all physics, and a control scheme that’s more difficult than playing real Jenga with your feet, this disaster is a collapse waiting to happen. And it just happens to be the worst game of 2007.