Forever alone? Not anymore!

BlackStar · Joined: 18 Apr 2007 Posts: 4840

*inserts Sourdeeznuts*
Oh-ho! Wait a sec! Boy would my face have been red! Ok, let's try this again

*Inserts Sourdeez*
Ok, for you we have...

Honey Boo-Boo's mother

Oh man, we're getting way too many fatties this year. See, this is what happens when nobody gives a shit about the obesity crisis in America. It starts affecting us all! Anyway, ew, God, what do you say about this one. Just have fun......???

*inserts used*
Alaska huh? Well that's a no brainer!

An Eskimo!

Damn, you're easy. Come back next year.

*inserts Green Lantern*

Hey, looks like we got a super hero looking for love. Let's see who we've got for Ryan Renolyds....

Uh, WTF man....

Lethean · Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 4:10 pm Post subject:

BlackStar · Joined: 18 Apr 2007 Posts: 4840

Yeah, as if Ben Affleck would date Hugh Jackman! GET REAL.

Wes · Joined: 01 Nov 2005 Posts: 2590

Sign me up. And if I get a fatty or a male I'll know you've gone stale.
_________________
Life is not a predetermined path but a branch of many choices that make us who we are.

BlackStar · Joined: 18 Apr 2007 Posts: 4840

*Inserts Gifted Monkey*
Here, I'll take the 50 bucks and we'll work out the details later.....

Nicki Minaj

You got yourself some sweet sweet brown sugar! Did you know: Hey last name is short for Menage a Trois? Neither did I! And not only will you get Nicki on Valentine's Day, you'll get her friend in a steamy hot threesome!

Hey, it's not gay, when it's in a 3-way. Unless he tries to ass rape you, then that's like, super gay.

*inserts Wes*

Going stale? Hey Wes you hear that? .....
That's the sound of you shutting the fuck up. Who do I have for you?

Your hand

Because no woman is good enough for your ego.

maca2kx · The Hammer of Ban Joined: 24 Jul 2002 Posts: 10779

Sourdeez · Does it use DX11?!? Joined: 12 Feb 2012 Posts: 1130

UghRochester · Fattest Jedi Around Joined: 05 Jun 2006 Posts: 5558

Here, I got one free ticket! I know how you match up people by similarities, but please don't give me someone liking McDonald's.
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De-Ting · Formerly Known as Prince Joined: 11 Nov 2006 Posts: 7270

Longo_2_guns · Ruler of the Queen's Navy Joined: 29 Jun 2003 Posts: 14056

cyberjim2000 · Forum Bum Joined: 28 Feb 2010 Posts: 1471

I want loves too.

Affen · Freedom Runner Joined: 19 Sep 2008 Posts: 1841

All the other dating services suck. You're my only hope for finding real love Blackstar.

Icepick · Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 10:17 am Post subject:

shut up and take my money
_________________
Anal sex is a lot like eating spinach, if you're forced to do it as a kid you wont enjoy it properly as an adult

BlackStar · Joined: 18 Apr 2007 Posts: 4840

*inserrts Ugh*

Ugh my man, I will ensure you you'll meet the woman who will change your life.

Wendy from Wendy's! It's time to walk into McDonalds and tell your boss "Fuck you, I'm going to Wendy's!" Then go meet Ms. Right at your local Wendy's restaurant. I've reserved the ball room buddy, just be cool.

*inserrts Longo*

Because nobody complained I can't dely this shit. You already violated an asain Santa so I'd just say her. But for $20 you'll want an official read out from the machine...

Urban's Santa

Oh man, that can't be right. I was thinking Neckbeard Santa or Daniel Claus or a Santa where it's not Dan. See, my Santa had hoes and he could've gladly offered you his foot rest ho. But fuckin GR voted the Asian, just like the one you violated, only way way more fuckable. But I'm getting off track. Yo Urbz! Any advice for Longo? Does he make a good wingman or is he a fuckin pedo?

*insers cyberjim*

You know what I realized? I don't know who the fuck you are *shakes* I'm BlackStar. Mind if I call you Jim? Ok Jim. For you we have...

Single White Ho

Congrats! You've been accepted as a contestant on FOX's new reality show Single White Ho. You, along with 19 other men will compete for her heart by picking her up for a "date". Unfortunately you were entered last so you've got 19 dudes ahead of you who are gonna hit that. But if she picks you on the 14th during the season finale you'll have Ms. Right on VD, I mean vanerial day, FUCK, VALENTINE'S DAY. Good luck Jim. GR tune into FOX for Single White Ho.

MattAY · Posh B**tard Joined: 02 Mar 2006 Posts: 10829

Bahaha!

$20 brudda! I made sure it was used to snort up coke - it's a good one.
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BlackStar · Joined: 18 Apr 2007 Posts: 4840

*inserts Affen*

The other dating services are terrible I agree. Although this year we're sponsered by Craigslist so we've got to let the machine search Craigslist just once. Sorry man, guess you're the unlucky one...

http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/w4m/3558430863.html

Oh shit you're not American, well I'll fly her out to one of those Euro countries who play soccer. Trust me my friend, New York City have the best women! Well, I can't speak for this one. And... uh... is she missing a face? Holy shit....

*inserts Icepick*

Icepick you would've made a great New Yorker. Which is why I didn't let Craigslist pick some creepy bitch with no face. You get the real deal, your date is....

A Bitch Bein Craziest than Crazy

Damn, you thought the girl you trolled was crazy? You don't even know how crazy this bitch gets. One night with her on Valentine's Day and you may just live to tell the Ultimate Bitches Be Crazy story.

Bitches Be Crazy T-shirts now being sold on Crave.

BlackStar · Joined: 18 Apr 2007 Posts: 4840

*Inserts MattAY*

Since you own every single God Damn Asian you probably know I have none to give. You've even taken over Afghanistan. WTF man? But maybe you're finally sick of Asians? Ah, you finally want a new race, that's why you came to me, isn't it? Ok then for you I've got the complete opposite of Asian.

A woman who looks older than 14

Hmm? she looks older than 40 but the title is still true

MattAY · Posh B**tard Joined: 02 Mar 2006 Posts: 10829

Milf is probably my second most used search term in porn.

Blackstar you fucking KNOW me dude!
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Affen · Freedom Runner Joined: 19 Sep 2008 Posts: 1841

I couldn't have hoped for a better outcome. I'm going to save a huge amount in paper bag expenses. Distance means nothing these days.

Icepick · Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 9:18 am Post subject:

I'm not going to lie, the results don't disappoint me
_________________
Anal sex is a lot like eating spinach, if you're forced to do it as a kid you wont enjoy it properly as an adult