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Best short story wins a steam copy of Torchlight 2.
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Optimus-Crime
bananable


Joined: 03 Mar 2012
Posts: 1061

PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 11:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Where's the beef?

Remember that commercial, the old Wendy's one? Yeah, I don't either. dude, I'm not that old. But then why do I remember that commercial? Shocked

I think I've seen more episodes of Good Times than I've seen of Friends, and I've seen zero episodes of Good Times.

Who could've guessed Winnie Cooper would grow up to become such a hot looking chick? EVERYONE, THAT'S WHO. ugg... Winnie Cooper... so hot.
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danielrbischoff



Joined: 13 Nov 2009
Posts: 8871

PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 11:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BlackStar wrote:
f*** you, how are you still here? I shot you, very close to the heart.

You missed my heart!
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BlackStar



Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 4848

PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 10:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ya ya ya look just tell silos that I deserve to win the gift certificate for applebee's.
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TheLe



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 1:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Best short story wins a steam copy of Torchlight 2. Reply with quote

Title: My Short Story

As I surfed the internet I came across a link for a short story contest. I clicked the link in anticipation, and discovered that it required one-hundred to three-hundred-words upon submission, and the winner would receive Torchlight II for free.

I didn’t know what Torchlight II was, but my imagination ran wild as I dreamed of propelling down a dark cave with my Torchlight II in one hand and a pick axe in another. The sound of bats would be all around me as God sent rain to hinder my quest; in my imagination I’d simply reply with a smile and the words, “This is way more dependable than the Torchlight I that I purchased last year”.

I came back to reality when the screensaver came on, and so I opened Microsoft Word to write the perfect one-hundred to three-hundred-words story to win Torchlight II.

Shazbot.

The copy of Microsoft Word expired and locked me out. Unable to type my perfect one-hundred to three-hundred-words short story to win Torchlight II, I panicked and did what every aspiring writer did in this situation… I opened up Notepad.

I spent hours carefully planning out the perfect one-hundred to three-hundred-words story that I wanted to write, before ever typing a single word. And then, all at once, the story came to me like song to a bird. I furiously began to write, with the opening words to my perfect story…

“As I surfed theinterenet I came across a link for a a short story contest. I clicked the link in anticipation…”

Unfortunately, Notepad didn’t come with an automatic spell-checker; my story was riddled with errors and I foolishly submitted it.

Alas, my future would be that of exploring hidden caves with the inferior Torchlight I.
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WickedLiquid
In Limbo


Joined: 18 Mar 2009
Posts: 6570

PostPosted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 2:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BlackStar wrote:
Ya ya ya look just tell silos that I deserve to win the gift certificate for applebee's.


BAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHA

GIVE THAT MAN THE TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!
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Silios
Risible Foofaraw


Joined: 26 Jul 2003
Posts: 258

PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 1:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I figure I should probably write a story too. Don't worry, I can't win my own contest, that would be stupid. But I wanted to write a story, since my birthday is coming up, and this is relevant.

So here it is.

My 25th Birthday…


My 25th, an occasion that should be marked with strippers, cake, and ice cream, a crowded room with people cheering ‘for he’s a jolly good fellow’ and ‘happy birthday’. It should be happy, after all, that almost always follows the word ‘birthday’. But, it won’t be ‘happy’. It will be another day like any other. No cake, no ice cream, and definitely no strippers. As I inch my way closer to the grave I’ve come to realize that’s life. It’s lonely, hard, and tiresome. We’re the embodiment of apathy, the soul of corrosion, and god forbid we have the time to say 'happy birthday'.

So here’s to everyone who made it to a quarter of a century, to everyone who drudges through every day and puts on a faux smile to keep people happy, to every poor SOB who spent a birthday alone. Because it’s just another day on the calendar.

No, no, no… I’m the one who pushed everyone away, I’m the one who put on façade of being an asshole to everyone I knew, I’m the reason I have no friends, I’m the reason no one loves me… I… I guess that’s why I’m alone on my 25th birthday. Maybe this is a wakeup call. Maybe my 25th should be spent giving people things, not receiving them. Maybe I should make a difference. Maybe I need to stop being an apathetic bastard and WAKE THE FUCK UP.

Or maybe it will just be another day. So here’s to me, for I’m a jolly good fellow.

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Bretimus_v2
The Japazillian Dynasty


Joined: 30 Jan 2009
Posts: 9711

PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 5:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ticking Time Bomb

"Move," my partner yelled, cinching his backpack tight, "we gotta get back before 'it' blows."

I nodded and mounted my bike. Bikes let us get around quickly in the crowded city, but at a time like this I would’ve felt reassured in a car. Nevertheless, we were flying in an instant, dodging traffic, weaving between pedestrians. All these people oblivious to the urgency of our situation. They were worried about their day or something small. We had a much more serious problem. And that seriousness played out on the face of my partner. Beads of sweat appeared on his forehead, his jaw clenched hard, desperation filled his eyes. Each push of the pedals only made him appear more frantic.

Before we knew it, we arrived at the hill.

“Just make it to the top and then we’re home-free,” I reassured.

His reply was a visceral grunt. How much time did we have? No matter, we had to make it; otherwise things would get messy. Upon cresting the hill, we saw our destination. A couple yards further. We left the bikes and sprinted. He was frantic, out-of-breath, and covered in sweat. So was I. I couldn’t go further. I watched him cover those last few paces.

“Run,” I yelled, “all you have to do is make that drop inside.”

Then he stopped short and his hand quickly came to his abdomen. Even from that distance I could see the anguish in his eyes. His legs were straight and stiff. Time froze. Slowly, he turned to look at me. Our eyes met and I knew I would never look into those eyes again…


…without remembering the day he crapped in his pants.

We really need to work on his fear of pooping in public places.
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WickedLiquid
In Limbo


Joined: 18 Mar 2009
Posts: 6570

PostPosted: Tue Aug 07, 2012 10:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some great stories here guys, luckily I'm not the judge.
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Optimus-Crime
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 07, 2012 11:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

WickedLiquid wrote:
Some great stories here guys, luckily I'm not the judge.


Thank you.
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Bras



Joined: 16 Jul 2008
Posts: 45

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Through her words

*This girl looks a bit too young.*
:Hello
-Hi!

*Good, she hasn't disconnected yet.*
:How are you?
-good, and u?

*So-so, I rather chat with an older-looking girl, but whatever...*
:Fine, tired of looking at guys penises though, I only like girls.
-well im bi! I come here when im bored, what are u doing?

*Who knows why I come here?*
:I was having some problems, so I came here.
-what problems?

*I don't know what I'm doing with my life, how about you?*
:i just had a fight with my girlfriend
-oh i see
:have you got a gf or bf?
-no
:i bet girlfriends are harder to find for you

*I imagine being straight would be less problematic than bi or homosexual in this world...*
-more or less, I don't care that much though

*This girl has got to be underage, perhaps I shoudn't be asking those things, I need to know her age, but I don't want her to think I'm a pedophile or that I fancy her, she calling me that would be the icing on today's cake.*
:how old are you?

*There it goes, I won't blame you if you quit the chat now, I know I do it when people ask me that, the whole asl thing is ...*
-14, u?

*I knew it...now I'm a pedophile.*
:23
-ok, i hope ur not horny

*Hell no.*
:I'm not, I promise I won't take my clothes off or something!
-ok, i am used to it though

*Huh?*
:used to what?
-seeing people naked, when i was littler my brother used to show me some videos when i went to his room and we were alone
:porn??
-yes
:how old is your brother now?
-22

*Oh no...*


Word count: 300 words approx. not counting the title.
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Silios
Risible Foofaraw


Joined: 26 Jul 2003
Posts: 258

PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 12:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ten more days to go ladies and gentlemen.

Sometime between the 29-31 I'll PM the winners with my steam name. After they've claimed their prize I will announce them in them in this topic.

I also wrote reviews along with a rating system for just about every serious story added to this topic. The only exception are those who went over or under the word count. I'll also be releasing that. The reviews are only around one sentence long though and are mostly my personal musing.

With that being said, I was talking with Daniel about possibly doing this annually. Maybe different awards The thing is, steam is very easy to give away things to strangers. If you know of anything, like the ability to email Amazon gift cards, please feel free to PM on the subject.

Please note, I still haven't picked any winners yet and the contest still stands. If you have a good story you want to share, you still have plenty of time. I try to check this topic daily when I can, so I'm still looking forward to any new work.
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Kijan
White Mage of the Modern Age


Joined: 30 Aug 2008
Posts: 1042

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 2:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha, made a huge mistake. I'll have to revise the story and reenter. Smile
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Mod-Chip
Senior Idler


Joined: 26 Dec 2001
Posts: 7375

PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The title doesn't count as a part of the word count, right?

Bedford and N7th


“Stop it.” She said in her usual passive-aggressive tone. “Why can’t you just get a laptop? Type-writers are so outdated. Had I known you were such a prominent member of the hipster brigade, this would never have become a thing.”

“I’ll get a laptop when books no longer come out in print. Until then…” I smugly replied.

“What are you working on anyway?” She now asked, half-interested, half-mockingly.

“Oh it’s noth¬ing you would like, you’re not really a part of the target audience”. I replied.

“Excuse me? Target audience? What does that even mean?” She fired back.

Not wanting things to escalate, I matter-of-factly stated “Oh it’s one of these existential novels, but with a real film noir twist you see. It’s one of those ‘Whodunnit?’ affairs with a whole lot of questions and very few answers. Imagine if Kafka and Agatha Christie had a literary baby, that’s what this is”.

“Sounds boring” She exhaled a plume of smoke.

“Told you.”

“Hey wanna grab a beer?” She sounded excited.

“I don’t drink on Mondays.” I put another sheet of paper into the typewriter.

“Why not? It’s not like you have a job to go to tomorrow, unlike some people.” She put out her cigarette.

“I don’t know if you can count a computer lab monitor as a real job.” I opined.

“Well it’s better than sitting around and smashing at those clankety…oh you’re good.” She appreciated the irony.

“Well I’m getting dressed.” She sounded exhausted.

I walked to my record player, and put on Benson’s cover of “Sunny”. I then shuffled over to the bed, kissed her on the cheek, lit a cigarette, and lay next to her.

“The hipster brigade lives on” She smiled while caressing my hair.

A few hours later she went back to Coney Island.
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Silios
Risible Foofaraw


Joined: 26 Jul 2003
Posts: 258

PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Welp, that's all she wrote folks.

Plenty of great stories, only two winners.

C_nate - The Meeting 4.4 out of 5.

Managed to stay within the limits. excelent flow and compisition. Uses the three part structure. User knows how to write. Storywise, interesting, I know writing with a word limit is something difficult, but in college this was the way we learned to write concise short stories with meaning.

Wicked liquid - Late Supper - 4.5 out of 5

I really like this, this reminds me of the first story I wrote for creative writing. It was around the same length. Except it was about my terrible "family member" named Toby. He had horrendous table manners, would lick people in the face to greet them, and has been known to defecate in my front yard.

sliverstorm - The Short End to a Long Line - 5 out of 5.

This is how you write a short story with a 300 word limit. The user was impecable in his sentence construction, understand and using the act of suspense at the end of each paragraph. I am truly impressed, so much so I searched for any remote chance of it being plagerized. This is five star material. Congratulations, you won a copy of Torchlight 2.

TheLe - My Short Story 4.2 out of 5

"As I surfed the internet I came across a link for a short story contest." This is the reason I linked to it in the Torchlight topic on LL. I was hoping to bring in more of you guys, but alas. This was more your own personal musing, much like the Birthday story I added later in the topic. Nothing wrong with that. It was clever, in a very ETI self loathing sort of way.

Bretimus_v2 - Ticking Time Bomb 4.5

I chuckled. Again someone did a good job much like Silverstorm. By that I mean your writing style, I'm not talking about grammar or spelling, I mean how you construct your sentences and paragraphs, with the reveal being at the very end. That is the proper way to tell a written story. Choosing a runner up will be hard. Because both you and Wicked Liquid have great short stories. This may literally come down to a coin toss.

Bras - Through her words 4.1 out of 5

Creeper... But seriously, I like the idea of telling a story through a chatlog, the ending was kind of funny. But you have a lot of potential with this. There's so many possibilities.

Mod-Chip - Bedford and N7th 4.4 out of 5

I'm imagining a hipster couple living in NYC. I liked this story, it's premises was a lot like my birthday story I added. It really didn't have a twist, it didn't have a huge meaning, but it was quant and cute. There's nothing wrong with that in a story, in fact some of the best and most remembered authors wrote slice of life.

I'm still waiting for Silverstorm to get in contact with me.

Next year will be Amazon Gift cards.

EDIT: Wicked Liquid actually one second place, but he doesn't have steam and had to turn it down. Hats off to you for contributing to this topic WL. Bretimus_v2 was my next choice.
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Bretimus_v2
The Japazillian Dynasty


Joined: 30 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Woo hoo, good reads all around. Thanks Silios.
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Optimus-Crime
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 3:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

dang.
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WickedLiquid
In Limbo


Joined: 18 Mar 2009
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 4:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats Bret!

Better luck next year OC.
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sliverstorm



Joined: 23 Jun 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 4:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for running this contest, Silios--I loved reading everyone's stories. I sent you a PM, but I figured I might as well post here to publicly pass on the prize--I'm not even close to done with D3, so unfortunately Torchlight 2 would sit unloved on my hard drive. Thanks very much regardless!
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Silios
Risible Foofaraw


Joined: 26 Jul 2003
Posts: 258

PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 7:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sliverstorm wrote:
Thanks for running this contest, Silios--I loved reading everyone's stories. I sent you a PM, but I figured I might as well post here to publicly pass on the prize--I'm not even close to done with D3, so unfortunately Torchlight 2 would sit unloved on my hard drive. Thanks very much regardless!


You guys have been really awesome, this is the third or fourth time someone declined the gift and only entered the contest just to write. That to me just proves how great of a community GR is. I said back in 06 that GR was like a tiny island out in the vast ocean, the inhabitants are some of the friendliest and interesting natives you'll find around. I still think that stands to this day.

With good news, comes bad news. As some of you are aware I'm in the process of writing a novel. 60K word length novel. I started in July working on the manuscript and my deadline is the end of this year. So that's going to keep me really busy. I've reached 20K the beginning of August and have basically been resting this whole month (i.e. lots of writers block). I'm back on track now and I'm entering in the OWFI annual contest next May 5th. So you guys probably won't see or hear much of me for awhile.

As soon as I get ModChip squared away, I'm off to slave away in Microsoft Word.

I wish all of you guys the best of luck at anything you pursue, whatever it is, see it through. You don't want to regret doing something you don't enjoy for the rest of your life. You'll never be the best at it, but you have to give it your damnedest to find out if you're any good.

Best Wishes,
Trei F.
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C_nate



Joined: 19 Apr 2009
Posts: 636

PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 8:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats to the winners and thanks to Silios for holding this contest. Lot of great stories. I love writing myself but it's something I really never have enough time to do to get better at it and raise myself to that next level. I've dreamed since I was a kid about writing a novel some day but I still have a long way to go before I'd ever be able to produce something that I was really satisfied with so best of luck with yours Silios.
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