More Reviews
REVIEWS Pokémon Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapph Review
In some way, Pokémon and the relationships they form with their trainers wind up teaching the player something completely different than what you might suspect.

LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham Review
Batman and friends team up for another Lego adventure.
More Previews
PREVIEWS Silence: The Whispered World II Preview
With its absolutely gorgeous sequel, Daedalic aims to create a mid-range difficulty adventure title that will expand the genre to a larger audiences.
Release Dates
NEW RELEASES Geometry Wars 3: Dimensions
Release date: Out Now

Kingdom Hearts 2.5 HD Remix
Release date: 12/02/14

Guilty Gear Xrd -SIGN-
Release date: 12/16/14

Kalimba
Release date: 12/17/14


LATEST FEATURES Black Friday 2014 Video Game Deals Buyer's Guide
Looking to score the most bang for your buck the day after Thanksgiving? Well look no further! Our Black Friday guide is just the tool you need.

With Two Paths to Walk This Fall, I Recommend Assassins Play AC Unity Over AC Rogue
For fans of this series, it'll be a decision based on hardware. For enthusiasts, returning to the brand's roots will prove enticing.
MOST POPULAR FEATURES Xbox Downloads October 2014 - Updating Each Week
Microsoft's Xbox One console continues an Xbox Live revolution started over a decade ago. Here's hoping Summer of Arcade makes it to the platform next year.

LEADERBOARD
Read More Member Blogs
FEATURED VOXPOP oblivion437
Wish List for Fallout 4
By oblivion437
Posted on 11/24/14
So I promised that list and here it is.  It's late and it's not as thorough as I'd hoped.  I also wish I had images handy to illustrate every point where helpful.  So, in no particular order - a subjective set of desired features for Fallout 4: Things to...

 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   SmartFeedSmartFeed   RegisterRegister   ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 
What makes you tic?

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Game Revolution Forum Index -> Misc
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
De-Ting
Formerly Known as Prince


Joined: 11 Nov 2006
Posts: 8034

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 9:13 am    Post subject: What makes you tic? Reply with quote

Judge this dialog from my book:

"Boss, what makes you tic?"

"...Money...the ladies."

"Yes...good, but boss, what makes you tic?"

"Piles of gold...enough to lie in."

"Gold is nice, but you wouldn't eat it."

"No...I'd prefer a golden goose. Hmph, how about that, Fontano?"

"Oh I'd never eat a golden goose, boss."

"Yeah, not under these conditions, for sure. Maybe bourbelier--"

"Boss, food is fleeting."

"What can you eat that isn't food? You mock me, Fontano?"

"Never, boss. If you could reach over here and strike me, it would be your pleasure, just like old times."

"Then do me a favor and strike yourself for me, square on the nose."

"Yes, good, boss. What else?"

"While you're at it, wring your neck til you're red. Then maybe the guards will come down here and flog you again for faking ill."

"Wouldn't you like to flog someone yourself, boss?"

"Other than you? Yeah...that little...brat."

"Yes. This is all her fault, boss."

"Little rat...running off with my fetcher. I'd flog 'em both."

"You'd do more, boss."

"You're right. I'd whip 'em til both my arms fell off."

"Yes. What else?"

"I'd skin them and use their hides as money bags."

"You've done worse, boss."

"Gah, I'd kill the one and feed them to the other."

"Worse."

"...I'd burn them first, then throw them in the river."

"Worse!"

"I'd chain them up to boulders and roll them down a mountain! I'd defile their parents' graves and throw them in there with them! I would rather I never see another speck of gold than let them live without paying a drop of blood for what they've reduced me to! I am the King of Thieves!"

"Boss, what makes you tic?"

"Revenge, Fontano. Sweet, sweet revenge."

"You will savor it, boss."
_________________

o--(^-^)--o


Last edited by De-Ting on Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:34 am; edited 2 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
used44



Joined: 08 Mar 2002
Posts: 20900

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 9:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good stuff. Is it for a graphic novel? Otherwise, the string of dialogue without any context blended in is unsettling and a little tough to follow.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Bretimus_v2
The Japazillian Dynasty


Joined: 30 Jan 2009
Posts: 9967

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 4:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like it. The way he keeps him talking, gets past the superficial and to the heart of it. But I agree, as is it needs something else to help distinguish the two voices and add more setting.

Would read more.
_________________
Star-Lord wrote:
I look around and do you know what I see? Losers.


Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
WickedLiquid
In Limbo


Joined: 18 Mar 2009
Posts: 6910

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 5:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I smell a GR crossover. Have you messaged Master Craig for character sketch ideas?
_________________
Lethean wrote:
I'm just going to ban everyone for 24 hours.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Master_Craig
i liek to draw pictures


Joined: 02 Jul 2006
Posts: 1826

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 7:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's a pretty cool example, De-Ting. Can I ask what kind of story you're writing?
_________________
Check out GameRevolution's weekly web comic "GR Strips" - http://www.gamerevolution.com/comics/

Maybe you could totally also check out my web comic "Reckless Abandon" - http://racomic.blogspot.com.au
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
De-Ting
Formerly Known as Prince


Joined: 11 Nov 2006
Posts: 8034

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 10:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's a medieval/renaissance fantasy about a witch and a witch hunter. Left to my own devices, it's just a novel with a few illustrations. A graphic novel and even a movie are two things I really hope come from it, but I still have a lot of work to do.

I find it easiest to outline a situation, write the dialog, and then add context.
_________________

o--(^-^)--o
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
Master_Craig
i liek to draw pictures


Joined: 02 Jul 2006
Posts: 1826

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 11:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good luck with it man, that sounds great.

I do very similar. I find it much easier to outline a situation and add random dialogue, then add more to it (the context) much later. I find it easier to write about a "scene" instead of a "story" if that makes sense.
_________________
Check out GameRevolution's weekly web comic "GR Strips" - http://www.gamerevolution.com/comics/

Maybe you could totally also check out my web comic "Reckless Abandon" - http://racomic.blogspot.com.au
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
MattAY
Posh B**tard


Joined: 02 Mar 2006
Posts: 12460

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 1:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Never read a teaser for a book before. Sounds compelling!

I was confused though, because in my country flog means "to sell" more commonly than the other meaning!
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
De-Ting
Formerly Known as Prince


Joined: 11 Nov 2006
Posts: 8034

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 2:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

MattAY wrote:
Never read a teaser for a book before. Sounds compelling!

I was confused though, because in my country flog means "to sell" more commonly than the other meaning!

He flogs and he flogs. He's the King of Thieves.
_________________

o--(^-^)--o
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
WickedLiquid
In Limbo


Joined: 18 Mar 2009
Posts: 6910

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 9:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Matt, you don't even wanna know what "fag" means here...
_________________
Lethean wrote:
I'm just going to ban everyone for 24 hours.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
MattAY
Posh B**tard


Joined: 02 Mar 2006
Posts: 12460

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 10:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha yeah, smokers get mistaken for homosexuals all the damn time in this country!

Our lingo is just a bit stupid is all!

So how long until it's finished Tingy? Or is it done already?!
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Master_Craig
i liek to draw pictures


Joined: 02 Jul 2006
Posts: 1826

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Flog" in Australia can mean one of three things.

Either beating the crap out of someone, e.g. "I'm gonna flog that guy."

It can also mean theft, e.g. "He flogged off with the money."

Or, no joke, wanking, e.g. masturbating.

"I caught him flogging off again!"

MOST of the time people use it in the first form.
_________________
Check out GameRevolution's weekly web comic "GR Strips" - http://www.gamerevolution.com/comics/

Maybe you could totally also check out my web comic "Reckless Abandon" - http://racomic.blogspot.com.au
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
De-Ting
Formerly Known as Prince


Joined: 11 Nov 2006
Posts: 8034

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MattAY wrote:
So how long until it's finished Tingy? Or is it done already?!


_________________

o--(^-^)--o
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
MattAY
Posh B**tard


Joined: 02 Mar 2006
Posts: 12460

PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 1:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote


_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
UrbanMasque
Don't Feed Him


Joined: 16 May 2007
Posts: 6302

PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 11:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wish I knew the situation before I read the conversation. Not knowing what was going on it seemed like an old school comedy scene. Knowing context I'm def interested in reading more.
_________________
Shaft wrote:
I let her come up with the safe word...thats about it

De-Ting wrote:
One-on-one brings out the true nazi in people.

WickedLiquid wrote:
Today I got a restraining order from John Stamos.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Game Revolution Forum Index -> Misc All times are GMT - 7 Hours
Page 1 of 1
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum