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Bretimus_v2
The Japazillian Dynasty
Joined: 30 Jan 2009
Posts: 8454
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 Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:52 pm Post subject: Merry Christmas? |
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So today we went to take the kids to get pictures with Santa. What Holiday season would be complete without a really excited drive to the location...only to be followed by the realization that those kids do not want a picture with Santa. They want nothing to do with the guy. Lucky enough, or so I thought, there was a Mrs. Claus who charmed my children with grandmotherly skill, giving them candy. Then Santa was able to ask what they wanted and we got several decent pics before the baby girl started going full arch (aka: get-me-the-hell-away-from-whoever-is-holding-me position). So we were all thank yous and Merry Christmas Santa...when it happened. My father-in-law thought it would be funny to say, "Bretimus and Mrs. Bretimus, why don't you get a pic?" I laughed, so did my wife. But the Clauses' interest was piqued. They wanted this, more than anything that was in that enourmous bag of magical gifts Santa had on display. Upon seeing the Clauses, my in-laws only cajoled us more. So we moved forward. My wife tried to sit on the arm rest and Santa was having no part of it. His lap was for all good boys and girls and she...she must've looked like a good girl. I on the other hand am a grown-ass man. There is no way I was going to sit on some mall Mrs. Claus' lap. But I was literally pulled onto her knee. It gets worse, while the in-laws laughed and I smiled through sheer will. Mrs. Claus was all over this opportunity. It's not every day 185 lbs of Brazilian beefcake lands in your lap and she was rubbing my back and getting her some side butt squeeze. Needless to say the moment did not last, and my wife and made a hasty retreat avoiding eye contact with everyone.
Three things on a serious note.
Why the hell am I putting my precious babies in a stranger's lap?
And, the second...no, you will never see these photos.
And last, if you were looking to get me something for the Holidays, counseling sessions would be nice.
Merry Christmas.
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| WickedLiquid wrote: | | It's also fun to play the calming/relaxing music while driving with someone in the trunk. |
Messed up.
Last edited by Bretimus_v2 on Sat Dec 22, 2012 11:04 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Sourdeez
Does it use DX11?!?
Joined: 12 Feb 2012
Posts: 1349
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:56 pm Post subject: |
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Merry Christmas Yo
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“Yeah but when does EA come in when your trying for auto erotic asphyxiation and decide that you are really trying to commit suicide? Then they force you to do what they want.” |
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MattAY
Posh B**tard
Joined: 02 Mar 2006
Posts: 10924
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 2:13 am Post subject: |
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Haha Merry Christmas Bret and everyone!
Bret is now a GILF lover.
To be fair to her, who wouldnt get a grope of that fine Brazilian mutton?
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UghRochester
Fattest Jedi Around
Joined: 05 Jun 2006
Posts: 5686
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 4:56 am Post subject: |
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185 lbs, are you saying that's a lot? How tall was she?
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| maca2kx wrote: | | Ugh, when you started posting all those years ago I never thought I'd say this to you: thank you, dude. Nice one! |
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Optimus-Crime
bananable
Joined: 03 Mar 2012
Posts: 826
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 4:58 am Post subject: |
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rule 34: the Santa clause
lol Ugh, c'mon man! |
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UghRochester
Fattest Jedi Around
Joined: 05 Jun 2006
Posts: 5686
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 5:58 am Post subject: |
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| Optimus-Crime wrote: | rule 34: the Santa clause
lol Ugh, c'mon man! |
I totally forgot he said grandmotherly...and was describing himself with 185 lb part.
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| maca2kx wrote: | | Ugh, when you started posting all those years ago I never thought I'd say this to you: thank you, dude. Nice one! |
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UrbanMasque
Don't Feed Him
Joined: 16 May 2007
Posts: 5334
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 9:07 am Post subject: |
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Pics of Mrs. Claus pl0x.
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| Shaft wrote: | | I let her come up with the safe word...thats about it |
| De-Ting wrote: | | One-on-one brings out the true nazi in people. |
| WickedLiquid wrote: | | Today I got a restraining order from John Stamos. |
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De-Ting
Formerly Known as Prince
Joined: 11 Nov 2006
Posts: 7351
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 11:43 am Post subject: |
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Ha ha ha ha-ha, ha-ha ha ha!
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o--(^-^)--o |
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Bretimus_v2
The Japazillian Dynasty
Joined: 30 Jan 2009
Posts: 8454
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 12:28 pm Post subject: |
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Your sig has taken on disturbing meaning in this thread
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| WickedLiquid wrote: | | It's also fun to play the calming/relaxing music while driving with someone in the trunk. |
Messed up. |
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Rakon
In Transit
Joined: 18 Mar 2007
Posts: 3440
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 12:37 pm Post subject: |
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Pics or didn't happen
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NATURE! - Goulet |
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danielrbischoff
Joined: 13 Nov 2009
Posts: 7559
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 3:32 pm Post subject: |
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Brett, at least share in CO.
And Merry Christmas everyone! I'm sick, but I managed to hold out until vacation. What did everyone ask for from Santa?
Dark Knight Rises Bluray and money for a new computer over here
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| Bretimus_v2 wrote: | | Self improvised bans. Call your own fouls. |
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Rakon
In Transit
Joined: 18 Mar 2007
Posts: 3440
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 5:06 pm Post subject: |
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Jewish here
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NATURE! - Goulet |
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Sourdeez
Does it use DX11?!?
Joined: 12 Feb 2012
Posts: 1349
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 5:21 pm Post subject: |
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Happy Holidays. All of them
_________________
“Yeah but when does EA come in when your trying for auto erotic asphyxiation and decide that you are really trying to commit suicide? Then they force you to do what they want.” |
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Wes
Joined: 01 Nov 2005
Posts: 2600
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 6:02 pm Post subject: |
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Nobody's perfect.
And yes, PICS. NOW.
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Life is not a predetermined path but a branch of many choices that make us who we are. |
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Longo_2_guns
Ruler of the Queen's Navy
Joined: 29 Jun 2003
Posts: 14199
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 6:04 pm Post subject: |
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I celebrate Kwanzaa.
Black Santa got me a 40.
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Optimus-Crime
bananable
Joined: 03 Mar 2012
Posts: 826
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Sightless
Joined: 23 Jul 2010
Posts: 980
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| Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 3:56 am Post subject: |
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No cute kids pics? 
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I sprinkle sand into the waters of night. The grains burn as they fall, reminding me of another in times long passed away. I watched him even then as he fell, his face undefeated, his eyes still proud. |
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UghRochester
Fattest Jedi Around
Joined: 05 Jun 2006
Posts: 5686
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| Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 4:11 am Post subject: |
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Hooray! Look at the size of that tube.
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| maca2kx wrote: | | Ugh, when you started posting all those years ago I never thought I'd say this to you: thank you, dude. Nice one! |
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Optimus-Crime
bananable
Joined: 03 Mar 2012
Posts: 826
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| Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 9:26 am Post subject: |
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No but seriously, thank you for noticing. |
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StickyGreenGamer
Joined: 15 Jul 2011
Posts: 645
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| Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 7:44 pm Post subject: |
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Merry Christmas everyone.
About to open our presents now before Santa comes in the morning. Hoping at some point there is a 2nd controller for me in one of these boxes! |
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E3 2013 has been very silent for me. There's tons of media, but most of it buzzes past my ears without them catching the important keyword that my ears are fine tuned to receive: "PC" or "Personal Computer". Microsoft, Sony, EA and Ubisoft have all shown their cards...
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