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Merry Christmas?
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Bretimus_v2
The Japazillian Dynasty


Joined: 30 Jan 2009
Posts: 10249

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:52 pm    Post subject: Merry Christmas? Reply with quote

So today we went to take the kids to get pictures with Santa. What Holiday season would be complete without a really excited drive to the location...only to be followed by the realization that those kids do not want a picture with Santa. They want nothing to do with the guy. Lucky enough, or so I thought, there was a Mrs. Claus who charmed my children with grandmotherly skill, giving them candy. Then Santa was able to ask what they wanted and we got several decent pics before the baby girl started going full arch (aka: get-me-the-hell-away-from-whoever-is-holding-me position). So we were all thank yous and Merry Christmas Santa...when it happened. My father-in-law thought it would be funny to say, "Bretimus and Mrs. Bretimus, why don't you get a pic?" I laughed, so did my wife. But the Clauses' interest was piqued. They wanted this, more than anything that was in that enourmous bag of magical gifts Santa had on display. Upon seeing the Clauses, my in-laws only cajoled us more. So we moved forward. My wife tried to sit on the arm rest and Santa was having no part of it. His lap was for all good boys and girls and she...she must've looked like a good girl. I on the other hand am a grown-ass man. There is no way I was going to sit on some mall Mrs. Claus' lap. But I was literally pulled onto her knee. It gets worse, while the in-laws laughed and I smiled through sheer will. Mrs. Claus was all over this opportunity. It's not every day 185 lbs of Brazilian beefcake lands in your lap and she was rubbing my back and getting her some side butt squeeze. Needless to say the moment did not last, and my wife and made a hasty retreat avoiding eye contact with everyone.

Three things on a serious note.

Why the hell am I putting my precious babies in a stranger's lap?

And, the second...no, you will never see these photos.

And last, if you were looking to get me something for the Holidays, counseling sessions would be nice.

Merry Christmas.
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Last edited by Bretimus_v2 on Sat Dec 22, 2012 11:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Sourdeez
Does it use DX12?!?


Joined: 12 Feb 2012
Posts: 2369

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry Christmas Yo
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MattAY
Posh B**tard


Joined: 02 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 2:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha Merry Christmas Bret and everyone!

Bret is now a GILF lover.
To be fair to her, who wouldnt get a grope of that fine Brazilian mutton?
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UghRochester
Fattest Jedi Around


Joined: 05 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 4:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

185 lbs, are you saying that's a lot? How tall was she?
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Optimus-Crime
bananable


Joined: 03 Mar 2012
Posts: 1120

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 4:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

rule 34: the Santa clause

lol Ugh, c'mon man!
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UghRochester
Fattest Jedi Around


Joined: 05 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 5:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Optimus-Crime wrote:
rule 34: the Santa clause

lol Ugh, c'mon man!

I totally forgot he said grandmotherly...and was describing himself with 185 lb part.
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UrbanMasque
Don't Feed Him


Joined: 16 May 2007
Posts: 6550

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 9:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pics of Mrs. Claus pl0x.
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De-Ting
Formerly Known as Prince


Joined: 11 Nov 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 11:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ha ha ha ha-ha, ha-ha ha ha!
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Bretimus_v2
The Japazillian Dynasty


Joined: 30 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 12:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your sig has taken on disturbing meaning in this thread
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Rakon
Tastes like burning


Joined: 18 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 12:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pics or didn't happen
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danielrbischoff



Joined: 13 Nov 2009
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 3:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Brett, at least share in CO.

And Merry Christmas everyone! I'm sick, but I managed to hold out until vacation. What did everyone ask for from Santa?

Dark Knight Rises Bluray and money for a new computer over here
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Rakon
Tastes like burning


Joined: 18 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 5:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jewish here
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Sourdeez
Does it use DX12?!?


Joined: 12 Feb 2012
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rakon wrote:
Jewish here

Happy Holidays. All of them

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Wes



Joined: 01 Nov 2005
Posts: 2746

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 6:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rakon wrote:
Jewish here


Nobody's perfect.

And yes, PICS. NOW.
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Longo_2_guns
Ruler of the Queen's Navy


Joined: 29 Jun 2003
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 6:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I celebrate Kwanzaa.

Black Santa got me a 40.
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Optimus-Crime
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Joined: 03 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 8:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Longo meeting Santa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tolMfaJOtwc&t=0m22s
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Sightless



Joined: 23 Jul 2010
Posts: 1210

PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 3:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No cute kids pics? Sad
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UghRochester
Fattest Jedi Around


Joined: 05 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 4:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Optimus-Crime wrote:
Longo meeting Santa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tolMfaJOtwc&t=0m22s

Hooray! Look at the size of that tube.
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Optimus-Crime
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Joined: 03 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 9:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



No but seriously, thank you for noticing.
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StickyGreenGamer



Joined: 15 Jul 2011
Posts: 650

PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 7:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry Christmas everyone.

About to open our presents now before Santa comes in the morning. Hoping at some point there is a 2nd controller for me in one of these boxes!
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