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FEATURED VOXPOP oblivion437
I Don't Want to, but I Have To...
By oblivion437
Posted on 10/20/14
Well, Gamergate has spilled over into the mainstream media and the coverage appears to be nearly uniformly dreadful. Take " What is Gamergate, and What Does It Say About Gender In Video Games? " by David Konnow as an example.  It appears that the writer has done little to no...

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BlackStar



Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 4848

PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 2:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, we're going to film all the scenes one place at a time, it's cheaper and easier that way.

PLACES EVERYONE!



Act 2 scene 5

Lights, camera, ACTION!


Lethean: You've been seeing HIM again, haven't you?
J-LO: I'm sorry, it's just all you care about are shoes!
Leathean: YOU LEAVE THE SHOES OUT OF THIS!


Ok ok, now the door knocks and Ben Affleck, you go answer it.

Lethean: Yes?
Ugh: I see you're having marital problems. Did you know I'm actually a gutair hero saving lives with my music?
Lethean: "I don't have time for this!"
Ugh: "Think About It..."

Slam the door! And back to J-Lo

J-Lo: "Who was that?"
Lethean: "Just that guy who has been stalking me since I went to eat at McDonalds. Look babe, I love you and I-"
J-LO: "You're right, there's someone else, his name is Chris...."

Ok Ben, now look up to the camera.

Lethean: "No, no OPTIMUSSSSSSSSS!"



Aaaaand CUT! Ok, that was good.
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Longo_2_guns
Ruler of the Queen's Navy


Joined: 29 Jun 2003
Posts: 16033

PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 3:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So, uh, we're going to need a new actor to play me.

Basically, Carrot Top and I were discussing how he was going to properly channel my expressions and what have you, when he suddenly said "I have an idea" and grabbed one of my guns. He then proceeded to paint it red and place it inside of a casket and proclaimed "Look, it's Red Dead Revolver!"

Needless to say, I was not amused. But as a means of atoning, I told him that he had to add a joke I thought up into his act. He agreed, and so I promptly shot him down with my other gun.

I then said, "I call that one Red Dead Redemption."


So yeah. I'm currently in talks with Weird Al, since he has the exact same hair and humor as me.

Though after he got caught with a dead hooker I dunno how things'll go for him.
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MattAY
Posh B**tard


Joined: 02 Mar 2006
Posts: 12395

PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 4:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

^ Hahahaha!

See I cant come up with anything as clever, so:

"Yeaah BABY"

>cue Asian twins.
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Optimus-Crime
bananable


Joined: 03 Mar 2012
Posts: 1077

PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote


VIDYA GAMES [Soundtrack]
b. Star (Composer)
Disc One
1. Final Fantasy VII Music - Main Theme World Map Theme
2. Edie Adams - That's All
3. China Beach Opening Theme Intro
4. Go Green Ranger, Go
5. Toad The Wet Sprocket - All I Want
6. Kanye West - Gettin Out The Game
7. KOIT Studios - Winky Winky Bum Bum (Touching Things Is Fun)
8. Brad Neely - Cat People
9. Stevie Ray Vaughan - Texas Flood (long version)
10. Nickelback - Figured You Out
11. Lit - Miserable
12. The Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter [Live]
13. Duncan Sheik - Barely Breathing
14. Peter Cetera - The Glory Of Love
15. NIN - Leaving Hope
16. Maroon 5 - Not Falling Apart
17. REO Speedwagon - Can't Fight This Feeling

Disc 2
1. U2 - With Or Without You
2. ???
etc

Help us fill in the blanks

Re: Carrot Top
Longo, I want you to take a long, hard look at the REO Speedwagon frontman and tell me that's not you minus 3 years; should at least be considered for an understudy.


Last edited by Optimus-Crime on Fri Feb 22, 2013 10:16 pm; edited 17 times in total
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Wes



Joined: 01 Nov 2005
Posts: 2739

PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 7:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This for the opening credits. It's got Academy Awards written all over.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gSacDaQxm0

Also, I call being cameraman *close up on J-Lo's ass*
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BlackStar



Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 4848

PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2013 9:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, now we're at Lethean's work. PLACES EVERYONE!

This is the scene in the conference room.

Annnnnd ACTION


Daniel: Hey everyone, I have a special announcment!

WL: Yes, we have a special announcment.

Daniel: What? What are you doing WIcked?

WL: We have an announcement for our employees.

Daniel: You don't even know what I'm going to say.

WL: Just whisper it to me

Daniel: Wicked, I'm not going-

WL: Quick just whisper it to me.

Daniel: Wicked sit the fuck down!

*Wicked sits down all sad*

Daniel: Anyway, as you all know Hello Hitty 7 releases in a week. I want my best developers on this. Lethean, where's Lethean?

*Lethean is in the back unshaven and wearing dirty clothes*

Daniel: Oh, yuck... yuck... Lethean, get yourself cleaned up. That is all.

*Daniel leaves with WL quickly following him*

Icepick: Ben, why you look like that-

CUT! Lou, for the last time, he's playing Lethean, don't call him Ben Affleck... Jesus Christ, that's like the 15th time he's called someone by their real name.

Ok, let's take it from there, ACTION.


Icepick: Uh, Lethean! Why you look like that?

Lethean: It's J-LO, she's with another guy.

MattAY: Looks like you just need to shag your way out of this mess baby, yeah. Get your self an Asian, or two, or three, and get a lil naughty. oh-ho-ho YEAH BABY YEAH!

Used: Lethean, in the great white north, there was legend of the sacred buffalo, who cursed this land into a frozen wasteland. But the great warrior, nunchukcho, destroyed the wild beast, and won the heart, of the fair maiden, who was most beautiful in all the word.

Lethean: Huh?

Icepick: What the eskimo is trying to say is. You gotta find this guy, and defeat him.

Lethean: Yeah... Yeah... a showdown. A showdown to end all showdowns! Thanks guys!

MattAY: Go get em baby, YEAH!

Icepick: You can do it Ben-

CUT! I swear Lou, I am this close to replacing you with Oscar the Grouch.
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Optimus-Crime
bananable


Joined: 03 Mar 2012
Posts: 1077

PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2013 9:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

BlackStar wrote:

Used: Lethean, in the great white north, there was legend of the sacred buffalo

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MattAY
Posh B**tard


Joined: 02 Mar 2006
Posts: 12395

PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2013 10:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd better get a fucking Oscar for this.

Also, I'd like to add this to the soundtrack:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7SFdGNquho
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BlackStar



Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 4848

PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2013 11:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Making movies is a lot of work!

After giving carrot top a shoebox full of blow, he's back in.


This is the first showdown scene, on top of a volcano, during a thunderstorm, during a hurricane... Now that's real Lava so I want to see Goggles people!

Annnnnd ACTION!

Lethean: "OPTIMUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

Chris: "Lethean! IT'S OVER! She's with me bro. Just go home."

Lethean: "You know I can't do that! Let's finish this...."

And CUT!

Ok, now we'll replace you both with our stunt doubles for the epic fight scene. Bring in the action figures....




Ok, now Lethean is defeated a top of the volcano and let's take it from here, ACTION!

Chris: "I told you to go home..."

Lethean: Takes off his shoe "EHYUH!" chucks shoe at Chris' head and knocks him back. "You're the one who's going home! In a body bag!"

Chris: "No-No-Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

Chris falls into the volcano only to be saved by Green Lantern and Longo

Chris: "Who are youuuu"?

Green Lantern: "I have the power to create Solid objects with my ring that I can use to get you out of here. I was also in Van Wilder."

Longo: "And I've got a chest full of useful items! Like how about-

Green Lantern: "Yeah, I had to save him while on my way to rescue you."

Chris: "Why did you rescue me?"

Green Lantern: "The foe you face has a powerful ally. His name is UghRocester and he has the guitar power to save people's lives with his music. You must stop this Ugh! To do so, you must first seek the one called De-Ting. He is currently serving time in prison after feeling up too many people in a public place."

Green Lantern drops Chris of at the Prison

Chris: "What do I say to this De-Ting?"

Green Lantern: "Tell him you know that feel, he'll do the rest."

Longo: "Know that feel? Hey I got something in my chest for that-"

Green Lantern: :"I'm dropping you off here!"

Annnnnd CUT! Good job everyone!
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