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Most embarrassing farts

 
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danielrbischoff



Joined: 13 Nov 2009
Posts: 8793

PostPosted: Sat Oct 19, 2013 7:16 pm    Post subject: Most embarrassing farts Reply with quote

C'mon... we've all farted in public around people. I'll start.

English AP exam in my junior year of high school. Whole damn year has been leading up to this moment everyone is fucking freaked out because it's our first. I'm not freaked out. Everyone else studied during lunch. I ate.

"Open your exams..."

Lots of papers rustling, tearing, people adjusting. My stomach starts making noises and as soon as everyone sits down I have a long, high pitched wail followed by a horn honk. Tried not to react at all and probably really failed at that.
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madster111
The Original Pie Lover


Joined: 04 Jun 2006
Posts: 6184

PostPosted: Sat Oct 19, 2013 7:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My highschool exams came at the same time i had a cold.
Huge room filled with people, all listening to my sniffles and coughs for several hours on end.
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Paradox
Up for group


Joined: 19 Mar 2002
Posts: 5522

PostPosted: Sat Oct 19, 2013 7:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was in the cough and cold aisle of a walgreens with my (now ex) wife and I felt the urge. I look to my right. I look to my left. The coast is clear so I drop the bass. It was like the alien tripods in the War of the Worlds remake. She looks past me in terror at the large black man now walking away from my left that I apparently just crop dusted. He's looking back at me with a 'what the hell man?' look on his face. What happened was that immediately after I checked my right and then looked to my left, he had come around the corner and was walking right behind me as I deployed the air bag.
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Lien
Die Hard Commie Bastard


Joined: 01 Feb 2008
Posts: 3459

PostPosted: Sat Oct 19, 2013 10:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I once farted myself awake and thought someone broke the window... and my girlfriend's laughter wouldn't let me sleep for an hour. True story.

Now i know how Brian felt.
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Affen
Freedom Runner


Joined: 19 Sep 2008
Posts: 2018

PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 1:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Packed train on a hot summer day. The air was still and moist, my stomach unstable. I managed to let one out silently, but after the gruesome smell started lingering around and peoples faces twisting, I couldn't help myself from bursting into laughter. Felt the need to leave the train few stations early for some fresh air.

It's awful when you can't escape the situation.
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Longo_2_guns
Ruler of the Queen's Navy


Joined: 29 Jun 2003
Posts: 15394

PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 1:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jr. High.

We were in the middle of a test and I farted really high pitch. Everyone laughed and looked at me, and I tried to play it off on my friend who sat next to me.

It didn't work.

I didn't fart again for a year.
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MattAY
Posh B**tard


Joined: 02 Mar 2006
Posts: 11782

PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 2:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was once doing a drama class in school. There was an exercise where everyone was paired up and all had to lie on our back to do a monologue or something. One person went at a time so it was quiet, and whilst this kid in the corner was talking my partner whacks my tummy and on reaction, I made the floor rumble with this bad boy. Everyone laughs except the teacher and i get detention for it! My teacher thought I did it on purpose - dick.
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Gunner37
Mr. Manga


Joined: 24 Jan 2009
Posts: 1099

PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 9:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I remember during high school I was sleeping in a study hall or class can't remember which but I woke up by twitching and then while moving I ripped one and it was extremely loud and was pretty funny
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used44



Joined: 08 Mar 2002
Posts: 20393

PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 9:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I fart so much that it's a non-event at this point.
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Sourdeez
Does it use DX12?!?


Joined: 12 Feb 2012
Posts: 1940

PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 12:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Was really drunk one night, Just had sex with this girl in her room. As I'm coming back from the bathroom,naked, I accidentally farted as I was walking to her bed. She acted like she didn't hear anything, and we went in for a second round of sex.

I still remember the drunken confusion and moment of awkwardness that fart caused me.
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Eyebrowsbv31
xXRaNd_PaUl_420Xx


Joined: 24 Nov 2005
Posts: 2825

PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 1:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

used44 wrote:
I fart so much that it's a non-event at this point.
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danielrbischoff



Joined: 13 Nov 2009
Posts: 8793

PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 5:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Paradox wrote:
... as I deployed the air bag.

Haha, poor guy.
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danielrbischoff



Joined: 13 Nov 2009
Posts: 8793

PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 5:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

People just know to pinch their noses around you, huh used/eyebrows?
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Master_Craig
Wannabe Artist


Joined: 02 Jul 2006
Posts: 964

PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 9:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It wasn't really embarrassing, but...

Training at judo and doing ground fighting. I put my friend in an arm bar and ask, "Want to know how this is going to get worse?" "How?" they ask.

I farted.
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Bretimus_v2
The Japazillian Dynasty


Joined: 30 Jan 2009
Posts: 9500

PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I remember hanging out in high school with a bunch of kids. We were jumping on the trampoline and POOOOT! I wanted to die because several of them were girls. Then in the midst of all the laughing one of the girls farted to.

High school. Where we all hold our farts around the opposite gender.
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And the comments for it were just so delicious. All of them. If I was a Red Lantern, the anger there would power my power battery for years.
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Lethean
Big Fat Poo Head Who Ignores GR


Joined: 27 Jan 2001
Posts: 15881

PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Master_Craig wrote:
It wasn't really embarrassing, but...

Training at judo and doing ground fighting. I put my friend in an arm bar and ask, "Want to know how this is going to get worse?" "How?" they ask.

I farted.


Man that is the worst! I hate having gas before jiu jitsu. It's so uncomfortable holding it in until you get a chance to get off the mat from rolling and just let it go. The closest I've ever come to that is a time I had someone in a triangle arm bar and I also had I think a peanut butter banana smoothie with protein powder like an hour before and some Jack3d for energy. I reaaalllly had to let one out but thankfully I was able to hold it in. It was one of those sessions where I had a bunch of tiny farts that needed to escape periodically so I was just hoping and wishing that I didn't do it in someone's face.
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Eyebrowsbv31
xXRaNd_PaUl_420Xx


Joined: 24 Nov 2005
Posts: 2825

PostPosted: Mon Oct 21, 2013 12:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

danielrbischoff wrote:
People just know to pinch their noses around you, huh used/eyebrows?


MIdwest smells of farts, so it's almost pleasant.
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MattAY
Posh B**tard


Joined: 02 Mar 2006
Posts: 11782

PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What are people's favourite types of farts? I love the airy ones. But I suppose you cant beat a good thumper when sitting on a plastic chair.
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danielrbischoff



Joined: 13 Nov 2009
Posts: 8793

PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 10:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm an American so I don't need any plastic chair for a thumper. I have my oversized ass cheeks for that.
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