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FEATURED VOXPOP whytenoiz ~~        When I was eleven years old, it was a very good year, and I can remember my daily routine vividly. These were the years before I owned a Sony Playstation, and I used to venture to my friends house - everyday after school - to watch him play through Final...

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Adult Swim Games Have a Fan in PETA

Posted on Wednesday, December 29 @ 17:00:00 Eastern by
I'll admit, I'm not big on flash games. My PC is capable of running DirectX.

So when I hear that PETA is giving an award to Adult Swim for their flash based games, I have to take a look for myself. Awarding Polar Bear Payback and Tofu Hunter for progressive animal rights gaming seems a little odd, but I guess I understand why the games are getting such a distinction from PETA.

Polar Bear Payback features a Polar Bear over the edge. The playable polar bear mauls countless humans, sucks the blood from their skulls for health, and picks up weapons to use against the homo sapient wielders. Tofu Hunter replaces all the cute, furry, delicious animals you'd normal hunt with tofu, making them cute, furry, bland tasting animals.

What's with PETA's marketing department? Seriously, how does endorsing violent, obviously parodic browser-based games further their agenda in any way? No one is taking you seriously PETA, certainly not gamers.

I mentioned previously that I was an employee of Greenpeace for a summer. The pay was good, there was room for bonuses, and you could generally spend a lot of time outdoors unsupervised. That last detail is pretty key. It was just a job.

Anyway, everyday I was working, there'd be some asshole who would come up and scream in my face about how I'm a hippy freak who'd been "drinking the koolaid" and that the Earth is theirs to destroy however they saw fit. They'd proceed to walk off angrily, muttering obscenities until they got in their Hummer H2 and drove to their mansion at the outskirts of San Mateo, CA.

All this in response to being asked if they had a moment to help the environment.

Invert all of that and you have PETA, a group of starving lunatics who've made spreading guilt to everyone who's ever found a cheeseburger tasty their mission in life. I've seen the condition chickens are kept in while they await their eventual fate as 20 McNuggets you pay $5 for. I don't agree with it, but society votes with their dollars and I think the McNuggets are a safe incumbent.

What happened to PETA members when they were children is wrong. Whatever made them the way they are is sad and I lament their condition. Basically they're nuts.

What bothers me most is that PETA's focus on gaming only brings video games down with them. Please don't award video games anything PETA. Please stop making parody games, even if you do have Tommy Tallarico backing you up. Leave Cooking Mama alone. You're making us all look bad. We're not friends. All this attention is only serving to make that Cabela's hunting game look more appealing by the day.
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