DAILY MANIFESTO

Adult Swim Games Have a Fan in PETA

Posted on Wednesday, December 29 @ 17:00:00 Eastern by Daniel Bischoff

I'll admit, I'm not big on flash games. My PC is capable of running DirectX.

So when I hear that PETA is giving an award to Adult Swim for their flash based games, I have to take a look for myself. Awarding Polar Bear Payback and Tofu Hunter for progressive animal rights gaming seems a little odd, but I guess I understand why the games are getting such a distinction from PETA.

Polar Bear Payback features a Polar Bear over the edge. The playable polar bear mauls countless humans, sucks the blood from their skulls for health, and picks up weapons to use against the homo sapient wielders. Tofu Hunter replaces all the cute, furry, delicious animals you'd normal hunt with tofu, making them cute, furry, bland tasting animals.

What's with PETA's marketing department? Seriously, how does endorsing violent, obviously parodic browser-based games further their agenda in any way? No one is taking you seriously PETA, certainly not gamers.

I mentioned previously that I was an employee of Greenpeace for a summer. The pay was good, there was room for bonuses, and you could generally spend a lot of time outdoors unsupervised. That last detail is pretty key. It was just a job.

Anyway, everyday I was working, there'd be some asshole who would come up and scream in my face about how I'm a hippy freak who'd been "drinking the koolaid" and that the Earth is theirs to destroy however they saw fit. They'd proceed to walk off angrily, muttering obscenities until they got in their Hummer H2 and drove to their mansion at the outskirts of San Mateo, CA.

All this in response to being asked if they had a moment to help the environment.

Invert all of that and you have PETA, a group of starving lunatics who've made spreading guilt to everyone who's ever found a cheeseburger tasty their mission in life. I've seen the condition chickens are kept in while they await their eventual fate as 20 McNuggets you pay $5 for. I don't agree with it, but society votes with their dollars and I think the McNuggets are a safe incumbent.

What happened to PETA members when they were children is wrong. Whatever made them the way they are is sad and I lament their condition. Basically they're nuts.

What bothers me most is that PETA's focus on gaming only brings video games down with them. Please don't award video games anything PETA. Please stop making parody games, even if you do have Tommy Tallarico backing you up. Leave Cooking Mama alone. You're making us all look bad. We're not friends. All this attention is only serving to make that Cabela's hunting game look more appealing by the day.

Comments

Lien
Joined: Feb 2008

Posted: Dec 29th, 2010 at 8:40 pm
I have my utmost respect for Greenpeace, a movement that achieve great things in the past decades and should continue to do so. Be it political wise, on the scene scrubbing seagulls or saving endangered animals all around the world G.I joe style, these guys rocks!
I have my buttcrack and diarrhea for peta however, the movement that dare compare animals to Auschwitz camps survivors, who are against vaccination that use animal byproducts and pretty much have only guilt as their weapon.
Oh you know they are against pets? what a bunch of jerks...
Now where's my tofu so i can stir-fried it with beef.

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Squiggy
Joined: Nov 2005

Posted: Dec 30th, 2010 at 2:31 am
One of these days I want to be at a fair where PETA has a booth set up, so that I can stand in front of it, eating a cheeseburger while conveying a look of vague curiosity and feigning complete obliviousness to their supposed cause.

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warmaster670
Joined: Jun 2007

Posted: Dec 30th, 2010 at 3:55 am
"One of these days I want to be at a fair where PETA has a booth set up, so that I can stand in front of it, eating a cheeseburger while conveying a look of vague curiosity and feigning complete obliviousness to their supposed cause."
better watch out if you do that, you might get beaten/set on fire/killed, hopefully not in that order.

Now im going to go eat a bunch of meat just to piss peta off.

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mrallamericanboy
Joined: Jun 2006

Posted: Dec 30th, 2010 at 8:17 am
i had two t-bone steaks last night. the second one was supposed to be for breakfast but i finished the first and thought to myself, what would the nutters at peta hate most. me overindulging in meat. sold!!

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Odbarc
Joined: Apr 2007

Posted: Dec 31st, 2010 at 9:27 pm
"You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad!"

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jwrebholz
Joined: Jul 2006

Posted: Jan 1st, 2011 at 10:14 am
As PETA drifts further and further toward irrelevance, their tactics must become more and more extreme in order for them to stay in the news--and to keep the lights on.

Groups like these will continue to push farther and harder, in a vain attempt to stay employed, until their organizations lose all credibility and their numbers are reduced to just the kooks and lunatics that everyone already thinks they are.

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