Bolling For Publicity
Posted on Wednesday, June 14 @ 15:36:58 PST by Joe_DodsonThe man who couldn't make a good film to save his life wants to end yours for saying so. At least, he does if you're a critic. According to Gamespot, gamer anti-Christ Uwe Boll is offering to box his five most outspoken detractors on the set of his new disaster movie, or movie disaster, Postal. Reviewers who thrashed at least two Boll films in 2005 and are between 140 and 190 pounds can submit proof of their work to firstname.lastname@example.org for consideration.
"I'm fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see[ing] them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who've never watched my films," says Boll.
The problem, then, isn't that he keeps making films, but that people keep not watching them. The critics, of course, beg to differ.
But instead of listening to legitimate complaints of bad pacing, sluggish dialogue and confusing fight choreography, Uwe wants revenge. Hey, more power to him. Such an immature, cheap stunt is probably what prevents the guy from crafting a polished, watchable film in the first place, but who wants to understand any more about him than they already do?
We know he sucks at directing, but hopefully he's better at hitting people. I'm sure watching him punch an unwitting journalist in the nuts, then laugh in his face shouting "You are Boll-verized!" would be better than watching one of his films, and it would give his career something it's never had before - entertainment value.
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