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FEATURED VOXPOP danielrbischoff
Peace in the Era of Call of Duty
By danielrbischoff
Posted on 04/15/14
In a world dominated by violent media, Americans are no more eager to go to war than they were in the 1980s or the 1960s or the 1940s. Hasn't it always been someone else's problem? The overwhelming majority would rather go on thinking it had nothing to do with them and there...

DAILY MANIFESTO

Choose Your Own Video Game Adventure! Vol. 1.1

Posted on Monday, June 18 @ 16:45:24 Eastern by
Just tuning in? Read Vol 1.0 here then come back to choose where the story goes next by voting in the comments.

"YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH"

"Hey! Switch off that racket! This is a very delicate chemical reaction."

"Oh, sorry," Jack switched the radio back to the smooth jazz Cave Johnson had had on before. "Uh, Mr. Johnson, I'm here to fill the assistant position. The hiring agency sent me over."

Cave put the beaker down and removed the protective goggles, smoothing out his hair as he turned to look at Jack. "Rose sent you?"

"Yes, here's my resume," Jack crossed the lab from the door and handed the stern voiced man his resume, but as he did so, Jack noticed that his rather-lacking professional resume had been replaced with the one detailing all the achievements and trophies he had earned, along with a detailed list of his Steam library. How had it been swi--

"Yeah, all this looks good. Exit out this door, go down the hall past the crusher testing initiative, take a left when you see the Take-Your-Daughter-To-Science Day displays and check in at the AI research department." Jack stared blankly back at the man and the completly unexpected reaction to the Gamerscore. "You want the job or not? Move!"

Jack hurried out the door and fought his curiousity as he passed the crusher testing initiative. He quickly entered the AI research department and came face to face with a small, unassuming robot on three legs. "I see you," it said as a lazer landed right on Jack's chest. The sides popped open and two machine guns jutted out.

"OH SHI--" Jack jumped, rolled, and ran to the opposite side of the room, desparately praying the turret couldn't swivel on it's three pointed limbs. Once he was safely behind the egg-shaped death trap, Jack turned and saw a Jack-shaped perforation of bullet holes. The door cracked and fell off it's hinges as Jack looked down at what had just tried to kill him.

"Are you still there?" the turret emitted in a pathetic sounding voice. Jack frowned and swiftly kicked the turret. It spun on one of it's legs and fell facing Jack.

"SHIT, SHIT," Jack kicked it again and it spun on it's smooth shell. There was no way he was going to wait and see where the lazer landed and jumped through the door next to him.

"CONGRATULATIONS" a familiar voice boomed. Jack looked up as looming mass of machinery inched nearer to his face. The maniacal AI loomed large over him, but her voice was friendly and domicile. "You passed the test! Please collect your paycheck."

A slip of paper fed out of the space below the machine's sensor array. Jack was awestruck. GLaDOS seemed to sense Jack's wariness. "It's OK, tubby human. This was a contract position, so get your flabby ass out of here. I want you gone."

The metal door slammed behind Jack. Time to head back to the employment agency, but... where in the world would they send him next?

To clean up a mansion, turn to page 12.
To rescue a hostage, turn to page 40.
To babysit, turn to page 64.
Related Games:   Portal, Portal 2
Tags:   cyoa, Portal 2


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