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Welcome Back to the West
By oneshotstop
Posted on 08/01/16
The only thing that stops the dust is the rain. It’s a sweet reprieve, but there is no middle ground. The land is either as dry as the Betty Ford clinic, or as wet as the ocean floor. Everything can be seen from the ridge overlooking Armadillo as John Marston gently bounces along atop...


Didj, You Know.

Posted on Monday, July 28 @ 15:57:38 PST by Duke_Ferris
A lot of the kids stuff that gets sent to us at GR just gets dumped in the charity box with nary-a-mention. Not so in this case.

A couple years ago a Leapster was sent to me by the nice folks at Leapfrog who are apparently unaware that I am allergic to children. That's not quite true. I do enjoy playing with other people's children, for about 15 minutes, at which point I become bored with 57th story about their My Little Pony's little horse adventure with the broken Batmobile in the underwater Lego base.

I also love the fact that I can simply pass them off if they start crying or emitting noxious odors.

Anyway, when I'm not revving the engine of my sports car in front of their tired and jealous looking fathers, I'm quite a nice guy, and I gave the Leapster to the two kids of a good friend of mine. Then I put the top down and roared off in a squeal of tires to go play with adults.

The kids simply loved the thing, and the best part of it all is that they get tricked into learning spelling and math and other skills I've forgotten thanks to computers.

However, what is one to do when their precocious child begins to outgrow the cutsey handheld? The answer is now obviously the more mature-looking Didj (rhymes with ridge).

The stylus is gone, replaced with essentially NES controls. I played Nicktoons Android Invasion, which inbetween basic platforming, urged me to solve problems like 20 / 4 = ?. By then I was bored. But hey, this isn't about me - this is about tricking slightly older children into sitting quietly and learning. Brilliant.

So maybe I'll swing by my friend's house on my way to the Soul Calibur IV launch party in San Francisco. They won't even have to share the Leapster anymore, which should make his parental life a little easier at least. Vroom Vroom.

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