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Welcome Back to the West
By oneshotstop
Posted on 08/01/16
The only thing that stops the dust is the rain. It’s a sweet reprieve, but there is no middle ground. The land is either as dry as the Betty Ford clinic, or as wet as the ocean floor. Everything can be seen from the ridge overlooking Armadillo as John Marston gently bounces along atop...


GR Mailbag: All Mail Action!

Posted on Monday, January 29 @ 12:13:14 PST by Duke_Ferris
To Be Or Not To Be...Funny!
From: "JoSh" (***
Subject: Sup...Got a complaint
Sup GR. Luv your site, especially the reviews...but some I 
couldn't say I agree on ;). Anyway I got kind of a complaint. 
Every mailbag you guys have is filled with questions ...and 
you just give stupid, smartass, worthless answers. Don't get 
me wrong, I luv your site, but I think you guys are just 
making those kind of answers to "impress" people or to get 
them to think your all high and mighty. Or maybe you just 
think it's funny, who knows. SOME of them are preety funny, 
but most of the time I just feel sorry for you.... because a 
lot of people feel the same way I do ...especially the ones 
who are getting the dumn answers :). Anyway, pleez give some 
perfessional answers AT LEAST every now and then instead of 
wasting our time.
Hi JoSh,

What!? Last week's Mailbag is full of legitimate answers. Okay, maybe not FULL OF...but we do give at least 2 real answers out of 5. You should read more carefully.

Frankly, the GR Mailbag is a place for levity and lighthearted fun. We don't want this to be just a boring Q&A.

In truth, we answer every single legit question we receive personally...if it's not a bad hair-day...and Ben hasn't eaten Taco Bell the night before. We just don't post them all here.

Besides, if young gamers can't have a good laugh at their own geekiness, then they'll be that much more surprised when the football team starts handing out those tear-jerking wedgies. Youch.


Roe Vs. Wade Vs. GR?
From: "jrc" (***
Subject: hi
Hey,what's your opinion on abortion?

Look, we're just a bunch of gaming dorks and can't possibly offer any insight into such a touchy debate as that posed by abortion. We choose not to involve our personal beliefs in publishing this website.

That said, we think Abortion should be a simultaneous release for the Xbox and the Gamecube. Why should Xbox get all the good games?


Knock, Knock...
From: "Black Shadow" (***
Subject: Who makes the jokes?
Hi, I wanted to ask you ppl.
Who is making the jokes/comments here in GR?
Cause most of them are cool.
Dear Black Shadow,

Who makes the jokes? Why, Barry Manilow!...oh wait...he writes the songs!

Actually, the bulk of GR's comedy comes from the colony of chain-smoking monkeys we keep in the cellar. All it takes is a healthy diet of 7-Eleven gourmet-style nachos and a few of the...ahem..."inspiration-stick" to get their creative juices flowing.

Next thing you know - comic genius.

Now fetch me a banana.

-GR Monkeys

You Devil.
From: "Alex Rose" (***
Subject: Sequels Prequels
Hey there GR!
Despite it's brilliance, DC has already died in Tasmania.... 
does Sega have a draw card for the rest of us lucky saps 
who've gone out and bought one (that isn't Shenmue, which we 
are waiting for with saliva tainted patience?)
Hey Jokall,

Wait...You live in Tasmania? Cool! Do you ever hang out with Taz? He must be a big shot over there. What's he like? Is he always so angry? Can you actually understand what he's saying? Tell him he should really relax a little, maybe give him some Ritalin. Or wait, don't tell him that. Just tell him GR says hi!


We Hate Long Goodbyes.
From: Joe Weber (***
Subject: Sily kids, Trix are for everyone...
Hey guys,
Tonight, on my local news, I heard that SEGA, due to poor sales, 
is going to cancel production of the Dreamcast in March of this 
year.... Wow. Let's all give Sony a big round of applause for 
screwing the competition, and sending dozens of potential 
developers, innovators, and artists straight back to the drawing 
board and obscurity. Oh, and mad props to Microsoft, for killing 
Sega's sales with a crappy product debut for something that won't 
come out for years, and will probably not worked as advertised. 
Nice work Bill. I am not foolish enough to assume that Sony would 
ignore marketing against SEGA, the one company which could 
conceivably detract from their millions in profits. But why destroy 
the competition? What is good for the industry is good for everyone. 
The Dreamcast offers people a choice, something which seems to be 
unheard of in today's $800 gazillion marketing fiestas. All of my 
friends were completely dismissive of Sega's system, on the grounds 
that the Playstation 2 would be "just better". "Why?" I would ask 
them, "Dunno, it just is". Praise Jesus! Look at all these converts!
Now maybe I'm just bitter and pissed that all of the future NFL2K1 
online opponents I was dreaming of will be toast shortly. Maybe I'm 
just mad that Fantasy Star online will be just another pipe dream. 
Or maybe, just maybe, I'm really mad that the next time I see 
someone playing just another clone of some cheesy, hyped up, over 
marketed game on the Playstation 2, (cough Fifa), I will throw up 
all over their 2 controller ported, crappy software supported, 
cheesy plastic designed marketing miracle.
Sincerely yours,
Joel - Gaussgoat
P.S. If anyone needs me, I'll be brushing up on my PC games in a 
desperate attempt to find something creative.
Hi Joe,

We aren't prepared to raise the white flag for the Dreamcast just yet. But we must realize that Microsoft and Sony had little to do with the demise of the DC.

Sega shot themselves in the foot by releasing a system at the height of the PSX's glory. No one really needed or wanted a new system when the Dreamcast was released, and many gamers felt burned and had a bad taste in their mouth from Sega's shabby handling of the Saturn.

There's an inherent danger in being the first one out the door with a new technology, and Sega took a big chance by releasing a next-gen system so soon after the Saturn (about a year and a half). With the PSX still selling well, few casual gamers felt the need to run out and buy another console.

Call it a case of bad timing, but certainly don't point fingers at Sony and Microsoft just because they have a better understanding of the market. You make it sound as though Sony and Microsoft got together in their top-secret laboratories to concoct a vicious scheme to destroy Sega. Uh, that ain't how it works.

And just because Sega might stop making hardware doesn't mean that the artists and innovators will become obscure. Far from it. If indeed Sega becomes a third-party developer, gamers will finally be able to enjoy the brilliance of Yu Suzuki, Yoot Saito and Sonic Team regardless of their platform. If anything, more people will be exposed to these gaming visionaries.

We all have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, we will truly miss the Dreamcast - it's an excellent system with some excellent games. But on the other, we feel Sega should have stopped making hardware a long time ago.

In the end, this all might be good for Sega. Lord knows it's the only way they will stay afloat in such a crowded sea.


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