The only thing that stops the dust is the rain. It’s a sweet reprieve, but there is no middle ground. The land is either as dry as the Betty Ford clinic, or as wet as the ocean floor. Everything can be seen from the ridge overlooking Armadillo as John Marston gently bounces along atop...
Posted on Monday, January 29 @ 12:13:14 PST by Duke_Ferris
To Be Or Not To Be...Funny!
From: "JoSh" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: Sup...Got a complaint
Sup GR. Luv your site, especially the reviews...but some I
couldn't say I agree on ;). Anyway I got kind of a complaint.
Every mailbag you guys have is filled with questions ...and
you just give stupid, smartass, worthless answers. Don't get
me wrong, I luv your site, but I think you guys are just
making those kind of answers to "impress" people or to get
them to think your all high and mighty. Or maybe you just
think it's funny, who knows. SOME of them are preety funny,
but most of the time I just feel sorry for you.... because a
lot of people feel the same way I do ...especially the ones
who are getting the dumn answers :). Anyway, pleez give some
perfessional answers AT LEAST every now and then instead of
wasting our time.
week's Mailbag is full of legitimate answers. Okay, maybe not FULL
OF...but we do give at least 2 real answers out of 5. You should read
Frankly, the GR Mailbag is
a place for levity and lighthearted fun. We don't want this to be just
a boring Q&A.
In truth, we answer every
single legit question we receive personally...if it's not a bad hair-day...and
Ben hasn't eaten Taco Bell the night before. We just don't post them
Besides, if young gamers
can't have a good laugh at their own geekiness, then they'll be that
much more surprised when the football team starts handing out those
tear-jerking wedgies. Youch.
Roe Vs. Wade Vs. GR?
From: "jrc" (***@coil.com)
Hey,what's your opinion on abortion?
Look, we're just a bunch
of gaming dorks and can't possibly offer any insight into such a touchy
debate as that posed by abortion. We choose not to involve our personal
beliefs in publishing this website.
That said, we think Abortion
should be a simultaneous release for the Xbox and the Gamecube.
Why should Xbox get all the good games?
From: "Black Shadow" (***@aol.com)
Subject: Who makes the jokes?
Hi, I wanted to ask you ppl.
Who is making the jokes/comments here in GR?
Cause most of them are cool.
Actually, the bulk of GR's
comedy comes from the colony of chain-smoking monkeys we keep in the
cellar. All it takes is a healthy diet of 7-Eleven gourmet-style nachos
and a few wacks...er..strokes of the...ahem..."inspiration-stick"
to get their creative juices flowing.
Next thing you know - comic
Now fetch me a banana.
From: "Alex Rose" (***@ezia.net.au)
Subject: Sequels Prequels
Hey there GR!
Despite it's brilliance, DC has already died in Tasmania....
does Sega have a draw card for the rest of us lucky saps
who've gone out and bought one (that isn't Shenmue, which we
are waiting for with saliva tainted patience?)
Wait...You live in Tasmania?
Cool! Do you ever hang out with Taz? He must be a big shot over there.
What's he like? Is he always so angry? Can you actually understand what
he's saying? Tell him he should really relax a little, maybe give him
some Ritalin. Or wait, don't tell him that. Just tell him GR says hi!
We Hate Long Goodbyes.
From: Joe Weber (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: Sily kids, Trix are for everyone...
Tonight, on my local news, I heard that SEGA, due to poor sales,
is going to cancel production of the Dreamcast in March of this
year.... Wow. Let's all give Sony a big round of applause for
screwing the competition, and sending dozens of potential
developers, innovators, and artists straight back to the drawing
board and obscurity. Oh, and mad props to Microsoft, for killing
Sega's sales with a crappy product debut for something that won't
come out for years, and will probably not worked as advertised.
Nice work Bill. I am not foolish enough to assume that Sony would
ignore marketing against SEGA, the one company which could
conceivably detract from their millions in profits. But why destroy
the competition? What is good for the industry is good for everyone.
The Dreamcast offers people a choice, something which seems to be
unheard of in today's $800 gazillion marketing fiestas. All of my
friends were completely dismissive of Sega's system, on the grounds
that the Playstation 2 would be "just better". "Why?" I would ask
them, "Dunno, it just is". Praise Jesus! Look at all these converts!
Now maybe I'm just bitter and pissed that all of the future NFL2K1
online opponents I was dreaming of will be toast shortly. Maybe I'm
just mad that Fantasy Star online will be just another pipe dream.
Or maybe, just maybe, I'm really mad that the next time I see
someone playing just another clone of some cheesy, hyped up, over
marketed game on the Playstation 2, (cough Fifa), I will throw up
all over their 2 controller ported, crappy software supported,
cheesy plastic designed marketing miracle.
Joel - Gaussgoat
P.S. If anyone needs me, I'll be brushing up on my PC games in a
desperate attempt to find something creative.
We aren't prepared to raise
the white flag for the Dreamcast just yet. But we must realize that
Microsoft and Sony had little to do with the demise of the DC.
Sega shot themselves in the
foot by releasing a system at the height of the PSX's glory. No one
really needed or wanted a new system when the Dreamcast was released,
and many gamers felt burned and had a bad taste in their mouth from
Sega's shabby handling of the Saturn.
There's an inherent danger
in being the first one out the door with a new technology, and Sega
took a big chance by releasing a next-gen system so soon after the Saturn
(about a year and a half). With the PSX still selling well, few casual
gamers felt the need to run out and buy another console.
Call it a case of bad timing,
but certainly don't point fingers at Sony and Microsoft just because
they have a better understanding of the market. You make it sound as
though Sony and Microsoft got together in their top-secret laboratories
to concoct a vicious scheme to destroy Sega. Uh, that ain't how it works.
And just because Sega might
stop making hardware doesn't mean that the artists and innovators will
become obscure. Far from it. If indeed Sega becomes a third-party developer,
gamers will finally be able to enjoy the brilliance of Yu Suzuki, Yoot
Saito and Sonic Team regardless of their platform. If anything, more
people will be exposed to these gaming visionaries.
We all have mixed feelings
about this. On one hand, we will truly miss the Dreamcast - it's an
excellent system with some excellent games. But on the other, we feel
Sega should have stopped making hardware a long time ago.
In the end, this all might
be good for Sega. Lord knows it's the only way they will stay afloat
in such a crowded sea.