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FEATURED VOXPOP oblivion437     In all the talk of graphical downgrades no one seems much preoccupied with 'why?'.  Why build something and then proceed to tear it down, piece by piece, in the hope that ever more diminished expectations about the final product won't be severe enough to...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: Another Year, Another Bag

Posted on Monday, January 6 @ 16:00:00 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
Naked Bits of Code

From: "YAR ZAR MYO"

Subject: please help

Hello

I just need little help . I want to see lara naked photo . Please sent me as much as possible. I can't log in to the free downlode for lara nude code . My broser can't allow me because of the word "nude" . So will you please send me the nude photo accept every other nude girls or screen capture of lara nude body . please anser me back . Thanks a lot .

Hi Yar Zar,

You need more than a 'little' help, dude.

-GR

Call Me

From: "Butch Hoing"

Umm..On PS2, Grand Theft Auto 3, umm..The Hooker Cheat...WHO are the hookers? Are they the girls with the blonde hair...black top...High heels...??? Because I am trying to do the cheat, but I can't if I don't have a clue of who the hookers are! You should put who they are in the cheat.

Dear Butch,

Why, hookers come in all shapes and sizes! There are happy ones, tiny ones, scary ones, armed ones, and even furry ones. Some are cheaper than others, so remember to always haggle.

-GR

Stop! THIEF!

From: Nick the kus

Subject: Stolen Games!

I was wondering if you guys at game-revolution can give me some advice. I am a die hard gamer with all systems and a heck a lot of games. It took me a long time to build up my library of games and systems. But recently my house was broken into and the only thing taken was my games. (not my tv or my stereo) I dont make much money and now it feels like there is a part of me missing. How can i still game when I have no games and cant afford to buy any???

Nick

p.s. Your reviews are undoubtly the best of any web-site or gaming magazine.

Dear Nick,

It took us a while, but we tracked down the thieves. Who would be so dastardly as to steal ONLY your games? Who could stoop to such a geeky low?

The Programmer Posse!
This dangerous gang of criminals has gained much notoriety in the past year thanks to countless virus scares, hundreds of wedgie threats and at least 4 known break-in attempts at the Mountain Dew factory in White Springs, Ohio. Consider yourself warned.

-GR

Um...

From: Cliff

Subject: Who will response for the Simcities game ?

IT IS A (REAL LIFE ) SHOW I was the first one who promoted virtual enterprise here. They didn't want me have a real life.

They bring me their subliminal torture game. Monitor my speech pattern, twist to fight against me. Annoy me with their midnight anchor calls. Making me live as a paranoia, of course I have no evidence. They are using "environmental signal" - very skillful and systematic - to alter my fate. How can I tell I have been chosen as an experiment to testify the fortune teller ? How can I tell I am being projected ? How can I tell they are killing me ? How can I tell it is "in and out" or "rapport and project" or "MKULTRA" ? No. I am already too lucky not to perceive as a God.

I really want to know who initiate the "Chaos experiment", what covert business did IBn, M$, MOTOROLb and ORANGf betting on me ( very important clue ). I really want to know what would happen without my tape and mail. I NEED YOUR WITNESSES.

Cliff

Where do you want to go to date me ?
Serial killer manufacturer ?
Serial Monica manufacturer ?
Why are you related to the fishing game ?
Can you draw a complete outdated map of all "experiments" ?
When will we stop replay tragedy for the nobles, Elvis ?

Sorry folks, we are just as lost as you are. In fact, we only know one thing for sure: We don't want to go anyhwere to date you, Cliff.

- GR

Thanks For Your Concern

From: **********@aol.com

Subject: Did the whole staff die?

Did everyone on the GR staff die or something? I haven't seen any new reviews or anything recently. And why still no review of Tribes Aerial assault, and why not a Reviewer of Anarchy Online The notum wars? Well, I hope your all still alive.

Bryden

Dear Bryden, An Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,

No, no one here died recently. Wait...yes, yes, someone did die, but we haven't thought much about it since they always come back as zombies. We just figured that someone hired another zombie and fired another GR employee. Not really much of a difference between the two anyway.

-GR

Tags:   gr mailbag


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