More Reviews
REVIEWS Grim Fandango Remastered Review
This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!

Funk of Titans Review
It’s always particularly tough to find the funk of a game when it already doesn’t have much rhythm.
More Previews
PREVIEWS The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Preview
CD Projekt RED delivered hands-on of their latest installment of their HBO-like fantasy RPG. How does the monster-hunting mutant fare this go around?
Release Dates
NEW RELEASES RUGBY 15
Release date: 02/01/15

DEAD OR ALIVE 5 Last Round
Release date: 02/17/15

Dragon Ball XENOVERSE
Release date: 02/24/15


LATEST FEATURES 5 Best Zelda Games of All Time
Nintendo's epic adventure series has seen many entries over the years. Here are the very best of the bunch.

Blades of Steel, NHL 94, More 90's Hockey - Old Games With Grandpa Heath
If Captain Comic were picking players for a pickup hockey game, who would be his first choice? Probably Cliff Ronning.
MOST POPULAR FEATURES PlayStation Downloads January & February 2015 - Monopoly, January's Free PS+ Games
Have you been playing online with your PlayStation devices? Make sure to get these free games for the month of January in our weekly update feature.

LEADERBOARD
Read More Member Blogs
FEATURED VOXPOP oblivion437
Finally Broke My Crowdfunding Rule
By oblivion437
Posted on 01/12/15
I've had a long-standing rule to avoid getting involved in any sort of crowdfunded activities.  I didn't donate to Shadowrun or Wasteland, but I did buy and enjoy both of them (I'm plugging both of those games right now, just so you know they're good).  I haven't...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: Brandish Those Letter Openers, Boys!

Posted on Monday, April 30 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
In The Mouth of Madness!
Warning!
The GR Surgeon General has deemed the following email to be "Toxic" and extremely hazardous to one's health. Extended exposure can lead to cecity, baldness and the brain bursting from the back of one's head.

This letter may also result in severe defects, such as complete nescience or a compelling urge to cut off large chunks of flesh. Please avoid if pregnant!

- GR

From: "Akab" (***@libero.it)
Subject: akab
blank I to want to know as to make in order to have weapons the 
much powerful for worms armageddon example bomb banana if launch 
she to explode 50 bananas and distruggee all landscape, example 
an arm ass, example to talk nonsense with the uzi and to perforate 
all the land to hit the worm I to pray you to make to know me as to 
find these weapons a lot upgraded thanks
By the way, this is the finest letter we've ever received. You get a gold star, arm ass.

-GR

The Life of a Revolutionary
From: "CoryC" (***@hcis.net)
Subject: I'm A Revolutionary
I'm A Revolutionary! I was wordering what they do. What do u do? 
What's up Cory,

Some revolutionary you are.

What do we do? We revolt like nobody's business, of course. This entails loud boisterous picketing, wearing tie-dyes and beating drums, printing embarrassing newsletters and making signs that say "Down with this sort of thing!"

Sheesh, what a silly question. We shall overcome...

-GR

Nothing + Nothing = Nothing!
From: "michele mclemore" (***@msn.com)
Subject: ???
hey could you send me a Rollar Coaster tycoon game not 
in the mail on the internet for free not a demo
Hello Michele,

As mighty as our powers are, we feel that your request falls outside the laws of physics. Feel free to contact us again when Star Trek transporters are built into our toasters.

-GR

Eggs, Bacon & "Revge?"
From: "Luis Domingues" (***@home.com)
Subject: Belgium Gets their Revge
We here at Belgium (makers of cheese and fine proud of it to) 
are sicken and tired of ur insults. We have had long, boring 
meetings, and came up with a simple answer. Were gonna bomb u 
f*ckheads outta the f*ckin sky. Yes Revge is f*cking sweet. 
F*ck u all! F*ck u all to Hell!
BTW u guyz kick ass in every OTHER way.
Ok Guys,

Concerned at first by your threats, we contacted President Bush about his faith-based missile defense. However, lacking faith, the GR staff tried some research instead.

Turns out that the Belgian Air Force has loaned it's plane to Canada as part of the psuedo-French foreign exchange program. You have no ability to bomb anything and your threats are as thin as your overcooked waffles.

You're just going to have to get your "Revge" somewhere else.

-GR

P.S. We kick ass in every way.

PS2 Takes Over The World.
From: Macuser Paul (***@aol.com)
Subject: Fact...or fiction?
Hey GR. I've been hearing some pretty strange stories from 
a lot of strange people, so i feel that it is my job to 
inform you of these rumors, and ask of your help to solve 
this question crisis. Many people have told me that Sudam 
Huasain (forgive the bastards spelling) has purchase hundreds 
of PS2's in advance, and has used their chips to guide 
missiles. Also, many other countries and militaries are 
doing the same. This may sound crazy, or some attempt to 
explain the PS2 shortages, but please tell me if this is 
true, the rumor has gotten to the "i saw it in the News!!!" 
stage.
-Macuser Paul
Hey Macuser,

We too saw this curious coverage on our local news. It's quite terrifying! Or at least it would be if there was any truth to it.

This silly rumor appears to have been started by the paranoid, right-wing publication, World Net Daily. Unfortunately, "legitimate" news channels run by people who understood too little about computers also picked up the story and didn't bother to check up on sources. Aside from a slew of other gaming sites, this bogus story was also reported by major news networks like NBC. How embarrassing!

It probably all began because of a brief argument within the Japanese government about whether to limit exports of the system because of potential military uses. After a couple days, the whole notion was dropped because it was nonsense.

Besides, nobody ever really needed to worry. We could kick Saddam's ass at Tekken Tag any day of the week.

-GR

Tags:   gr mailbag


comments powered by Disqus