GR Mailbag: Commiting Sins So You Don't Have To

From: bariq (*******@maktoob.com)

Subject: all the game
why you dont make plastation games like sega 
sega games is beter

We don't make games here. We make pie. Would you like a pie? We make better pie than Sega and Sony combined!

-GR

From: "JadeQueenJ" (*****@aol.com)
Subject: What the hell's going on.
Hey, What the Hell's going on? This is your bud Ju 
Ju bean. I was thinking, All of these men at your place 
of employment. yHERE IS JUST WAY TOO MUCH TESTOSTERONE 
FLOATING IN THE AIR. yOU ALL NEED SOME ESTROGEN TO MAKE 
IT MORE PLESANT SMELLING IN THERE. yOU SEND ME THE GUIDE 
LINES AND i WILL SHOW YOU HAW TO WRITE A REVIEW. 
lET ME KONW WHAT'S UP
YOUR FRIEND,
J

Here are just a few of our writer guidelines:

- Hate everything from every company, unless they pay you off.
- Never use the word "game."
- Always make fun of Pokemon.
- When in doubt, lie.

And what's estrogen? Is that like nitrogen or something?

-GR

From: Grobi (*****@planet-interkom.de)
Subject: Lara Croft T2 - nude - on Macintosh ?
Hi, everybody, 
is there a 'Lara Croft - nude - patch' 
(Tomb Raider II..) for Macintosh PowerPC... ? 
Please ... let me know ... 
Thanks 

There is no nude patch for Lara Croft. However, would you be interested in a Duke Nukem nude patch? Or better yet, how about a Mario nude patch? Those are some spicy meat-a-balls!

-GR

From:"DarkAssas1" (*****@cs.com)
Subject: SNK V.S. Capcom
What's up with this game that is in tha making,To me this 
game makes every game in this world dull*Y'a naw mean.That 
sh!t is banging strait up.You katz need to do some type of 
preview on this title.I'd enjoy reading a ten page article 
on a game I never thought come together in my whole life.
Besides Tekken 4, this is tha next Sh!t that should be 
looked into seriously*Especially if it's coming out for 
tha dreamcast.I don't like asking dunns for nothing.But 
if you can do some research on this title and inform us 
on what's happening.Th
at would be tight!
Sincerely grateful for your response,
D.A. (Dark Assas)

SNK vs. Capcom sounds ok, but we're waiting for Mary-Kate and Ashley vs. Soldier of Fortune.

Death to Bob Saget!

-GR

From: "Sean" (******@home.com)
Subject: old stuff
Hey,
I think it is dumb that you guys are still talking about E3. I read 
all that 
stuff for more than two years. When are you going to do 
a story on the E4 and stop 
talking about old crap all the time?

You're absolutely correct. It's just that we have never been to an E1, 2 or 4. We've only attended number 3. We thought that no one would notice us posting the same info for 4 years.

As a special gift, we promise to skip next year's E3 and go directly to E5. Who loves yah, baby!

-GR