GR Mailbag: Courier Pigeon Is Great With Butter

From: "Alan MacPherson" (***@aol.com)
Subject: what the hell is wrong with u?
You have some f**ing nerve saying how people who play D&D 
are dorky people. What the hell is your problem. i read your 
shi**y review of NWN. Just becuz we play d&d doesnt mean we 
are total nerds. i play it with my freinds and we are nerds!!! 
we run track, i play hockey, we have friends (which is probably 
more than u can say) and GIRLfriends (ditto). Wow girls, really? 
I Dont know what the f*** is wrong with you and dont give me any 
sh** that i shoudnt be swearing. i hope u get tons of mail like 
this, and u should f*cknig apologize cause your remarks were the 
ones of a big asshole.

We're all geeks here, Alan. Settle down. Go read the preview again, and this time try reading past the first line.

Now go away before we get Ogre to give you and all your nerd friends a swirlie. Ha!

-GR

From: "Tofu..." (***@aol.com) 
Subject: all you need is a little pixie dust!

Hey GUYZ!! I was just wondering if you'd like to add a little 
sassafrass to your lives and come check out my spunky website! 
I know it'll just tickle you're funny bone like crazy!!! here 
is the web address with some fantastic pictures of my wacky 
antics at their best! 

http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/petersFashionPage.html
enjoy boyz!*huggles* 
toodles!

Scary....but not as scary as the Tinkerbell outfit Shawn crammed into at the GR Halloween Party....

...wait a minute, we didn't have a GR Halloween party. Guess he ran out of meds that day.

-GR

From: "huynh" (***@worldnet.att.net)
Subject: PS2
I have a feeling that some of you guys don't like the Playstation 2,
because there were some great games for the PS2 that you guys didn't
seem to really be covering, such as Metal Gear Solid 2. It seems like
you guys are more of PC gamers.

You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time...unless you have a really large cannister of nitrous oxide.

-GR

From: "Jordan Boles" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: read this!!!!!
on the Nintendo board!! there is this person named bob, 
he thinks that he is the big boss!!! he thinks that I am 
stupid because I am a newbie!! can you make me Dragon in 
rank!! because I am just a grasshopper! and I do not want 
to spam!! and I am not stupid!!! I am smart! most of my 
few posts are not stupid!!! on the Nintendo board my name 
is Dark.

Please! Stop! Yelling!! Maybe that's why 'bob' thinks you're stupid.

No, we won't "make" you a Dragon. That's sort of the whole point - Gamepost posters earn their ranks. If we gave you a free upgrade, we'd have to give free upgrades to the whole class.

Hope! That! Helped!!

-GR

From: "Brian Curtis" (***@hotmail.com)
Subject: Revolt Against the Revolution
You know sometimes you guys are the best reviewers on the net. 
You play it straight and you don't pull punches. And sometimes 
I wonder if you guys have a clue what you're doing. I just read 
your review of Red Faction and I disagree with Mr. Sanders on a 
few points. #1 Uninspired story: Not many First Person Shooter 
games have a story at all. Either it's aliens invading or it's 
survival of the fittest in a strange territory. Was Duke Nukem 
an Inspired Story? #2 FPS's are supposed to be wildly violent 
and destructive.  How can you give a game like Serious Sam which 
is just a B+ and Red only gets a B and Red has completely new 
gaming technology. #3 Controls. Let us worry about the control. 
Most people that have a PS2 by now either have Unreal Tournament 
or Quake III: Revolution and can handle the playstation 
controller on a First Person Shooter. In summary, Red Faction 
is not the best FPS for PS2, It's the best plot based FPS for 
the PS2 and Shawn Sanders should pokemon or whatever he is good 
at grading.
Have a nice day, 
Brian Curtis

Allow us to retort.

Indeed, Red Faction has a story, but it's very bland and typical. Duke Nukem 3D came out in 1996. In the 5 years since, we have higher expectations when it comes to storytelling. A single-player game is not excused from that simply because it's a first-person shooter.

Regarding Serious Sam: for the twelve billionth time, it's unfair and useless to compare Game Revolution grades across platforms. But for posterity, let's not forget that Serious Sam costs only $20. You can find most of that under your couch cushions and the rest you can grab from your sister's piggy bank. That's a ton of bang for the buck, and indeed influenced the final grade. And for the record, Serious Sam uses a completely new proprietary engine.

"Let us worry about the control." Sure, go ahead. Worry about it all you want - but it's our job to cover all aspects of a game, and control is one of the essential points that must be addressed. If we didn't, there would be another batch of e-mails chastising us for not informing gamers about the shoddy control.

The lack of support for mouse and keyboard is a very valid point. The USB ports are there for a reason - why not use them?

Please understand that we liked Red Faction. A B isn't a bad grade by any stretch. We didn't slam it or blast it or tear it a new one. We just pointed out the flaws that affected our enjoyment of the game...which is, after all, our job.

-GR