GR Mailbag: Featuring New And Improved Stamp Of Approval

From: ******@aol.com
Subject: Star wars VS. star trek, which is better?
Dear GR, I have a couple of friends we all like video games 
but we are defenitly NOT hard core, sit in a room all day 
and stare at a screen, girl friendless mega gamers, well at 
least im not. And my 2 friend argue alot, on one topic specificly, 
which beats which, star trek or star wars. 
The constant question between them is who has the better technology, 
and who would win in a fight, a big ass fleet of star destroyers or
some of those ships from star trek, or who would win, some star 
trek security guys Vs 1 jedi. Now im not partial to either one,
but they will argue forever! the guy who likes star trek will go 
on and on about how the mellemium falcon would get its ass blown 
up by a star trek ship. I just want them to stop it, whereever we 
go they always have to talk about it. So GR staff, can u shead 
some light on these questions:
1. Who would win in a fight? Fleet of imperial ships of a fleet 
of federation ships?
2. who would win in a fight? 1 jedi vs. some of those security 
guys from star trek?
and 3. Which popular fiction has the better technology?
i just want to get back to playing tony hawk pro skater 3 and 
some NHL Hitz with out them blabbing on and on about this crap 
and they will listen to you guys.
Thnx,
Sincerly,
Jeff

Dear Jeff, Yet Another Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,

Man, you guys need to get out of the house more. We like watching Beat The Geeks just as much as the next nerd, but there are much better ways to spend your time than dissecting the pros and cons of Star Trek and Star Wars.

As if to prove our own point, here are some answers...

1.) Federation ships, probably, because they're more maneuverable. Have you ever seen a Star Destroyer turn? It's like watching Oprah try to fit through a subway turnstile. Slow and painful.

2.) Is this really a question? If you can't figure this one out on your own, you're the worst nerd ever.

3.) Battlestar Galactica ownz j00.

-GR

From: "apollo morales" 
Subject: counter-strike.
I have been playing Counter-Strike for a long time now 
and i still suck.
Can you give me some tips that will help me when i play.
i really need help
i want to be one of those players that gets 80 kills 
and 2 deaths. please please please help help help.
i WANT TO BE A COUNTER STRIKE JEDI.

Hi Apollo,

80 kills and 2 deaths? Those are called cheaters, usually unless you happen to know them personally, in which case they are called "lousy bastards."

We've given lots of CS advice in the mailbag, so to sum up...

- Know your weapons.
- Know your maps.
- Get the realism patch!
- Be aggressive.

NEW TIP:
- Don't waste your grenades. Often you'll see guys carrying a nade right off the bat, storming down a hallway and chucking it without knowing if anyone is there. Great plan if you nail someone and a great plan to distract 'em, but we prefer to use our nades when we know we'll hit a guy. There's nothing like saving your HE and using it to kill the last guy on the map. Big cheers all around.

- GR

From: ******@aol.com
Subject: please sell me!!!!!!!!!!
I had seen that their are selling ships and stuff for 
you to play burned games on your PS2. My question is, 
Why is know one selling some cheap and good burned games? 
(could you tell me if you could $sell$ me some burned games)

Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,

Why is no one selling cheap burned games? Because they are ILLEGAL. Oh, we know - they're 'backups.' That's a good one. For the 20 years we've been playing video games, we've always desired the power to make 'backups' of games. Yeah, right.

The fact is, piracy takes money away from the companies who sell the games, which takes money away from the people who make the games, which means the games suck because no one is making them. So stop buying burned games, go read our reviews and buy some good ones, dammit.

-GR

From: ¡ªfª® hª§ªñp6rx 
Subject: abuse
where can i download abuse and whats the latest version of it 

Dear Mister Stupid,

You can download it right here, you sniveling retard. Oh, are you too stupid to figure out how, shnook? We've gotten a lot of dumb letters in our time, but yours makes this guy look like this guy. Now do us a favor and take your finger out of your nose, run it across your face, and jam it into your eye. Moron.

-GR

From: ******@aol.com
Subject: GameCube
Hey, do you guys have something againt the Cube? Whenever I come 
to Game Revolution, all I see on the front page is PS2 and XBox 
crap. Where's the GC stuff guys? I wanna see GC!
Review games, NOW!

Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,

We only have one thing against the Gamecube - where the hell are all the original games? We focus on reviewing original games here at GR, but almost every single Gamecube game that's shown up in the GR office is a port of a game already out on another system, and often one that we've already reviewed.

Don't worry, we plan on eventually rehashing old reviews while making minor changes to reflect the change in the system, but we'd much rather see some brand new Gamecube games coming down the pipe. Star Fox, Metroid...where art thou?

-GR