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Release date: 05/01/17

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Welcome Back to the West
By oneshotstop
Posted on 08/01/16
The only thing that stops the dust is the rain. It’s a sweet reprieve, but there is no middle ground. The land is either as dry as the Betty Ford clinic, or as wet as the ocean floor. Everything can be seen from the ridge overlooking Armadillo as John Marston gently bounces along atop...


GR Mailbag: Fed-Excrement

Posted on Monday, August 14 @ 19:00:00 PST by Duke_Ferris
From: "Joseph Weber" <*****>
Subject: Response to G4TV's interview...

Just wanted to say I have to agree with everything that you wrote in that rant.

After watching that interview, I remembered why I don't watch that AotS anymore. Adam, though made a point or two, really just came off as every ranting nerd in the country would have. Mark just sort of clammed up for most of it...I imagine he didn't want to infuriate Adam any more. Even though Jack was the most level headed person, it always bothers the hell out of me that he is saying the same B.S. over and over. In particular, that Rockstar/Take Two lied when they said they had nothing to do with the Hot Coffee mod.

So, through all of that, I actually have a question: Is there any end to this damn debate in sight? Can you foresee both parties taking a f*cking chill-pill and finding a solution that makes everyone happy? Or am I destined to hear this crap for the rest of my natural life? Because I'm honest to God sick of the propaganda from each side. Joe

Dear Joseph,

Thanks, though we really wish we didn't have to write it. Leave it to G4 to ruin a great idea, although it's not the first time gamers failed to prove they're intelligent, thoughtful, reasonable and educated. It's just the most recent.

But make like a taxpayer and get used to it, dude. Since the dawn of time, conservative jerks have tried to police artistic expression in the name of public safety, moral decency and, often, religious right, and there's no reason to think that's gonna end soon. So long as any form of art, be it a video game, film, book, sculpture or song, pushes the boundaries of social acceptability, there's going to be a clash between the fans of such freedom and the pricks who want to slap a nice black censorhip bar over anything that might offend.

Unless, that is, someone can figure out how to reanimate Frank Zappa.

- GR

Everyone's a Little Gaymer
From: Salvador Carriedo <*****>
Subject: "A Real Player Hater"

I do agree with the assertion you've made about the VG Resource Center
piece; the author does come off as a hatemonger who seems to condemn
people rather than words. However, I do [half] agree with the author
on the subject of "Gaymer." I'm not against gay people playing video
games, far from it.

My problem is not that gay gamers exist, or that they have growing
concerns; I would like it if video gaming was a universal endeavor
that traversed differences in age, gender, nationality, and sexual
orientation. I even sympathise with their concerns, mainly, their
objection to the sexual objectification of women, the lack of
well-developed gay characters as opposed to stereotypes, and the
repeated use of heterosexist remarks as a form of "trash-talking"
(mainly, frequent use of "gay" and "fag" as a pejorative). My
opposition to their stance rests with the moniker they have coined for
themselves, "gaymers."

We are in the midst of a very heated debate in terms of gay rights;
mainly, the right for gays to marry and the unconstitutionality of a
"separate but equal" marriage institution for gays and lesbians.
However, it seems to me that the gay community has no trouble
segregating themselves; by creating the "gaymer" moniker, it separates
them from the rest of the gaming community, it implies that being gay
and being a gamer is mutually exclusive, hence, the need to create a
seperate group. I find it hypocritical to want to be "mainstreamed"
(for lack of a better word), yet still segregate themselves. Perhaps
I'm too progressive-minded, but if sexual orientation is really to be
made into a non-issue, the first step is to allow yourself to be a
part of the larger group.

I apologize for the length of my reply, but I would appreciate the
perspective of a fellow video gamer.
Dear Salvador,

We're glad your problem "is not that gay gamers exist." That is, as you say, very "progressive-minded," or at least would be if you lived in Germany between 1941 and 1945.

In our experience, gay gamers are a frisky bunch. When we encounter one online, we try to to hit 'em with everything we've got, from grenades to ice bolts, unless they're on our team. Not to say that we're ever on their team. Except when we are. Usually Thursdays. That's drinkin' night!

But enough about us, let's talk about you and your hott little bone to pick with gay gamers. You say you don't like that gay gamers "have coined a moniker for themselves, 'gaymers.'" Now, we don't know if most gay gamers really do call themselves "gaymers," but we do know that a moniker, as you put it, is not a good reason to oppose yourself to an entire people (an unhealthy obsession with Nintendo, on the other hand, is).

Then again, this isn't really about the term "gaymer;" after all, it can't be distinguished audibly from "gamer." Your issue is that gay people want to be treated equally, but segregate themselves. As you say, "Perhaps I'm too progressive-minded, but if sexual orientation is really to be made into a non-issue, the first step is to allow yourself to be a part of the larger group."

You seem to forget that gay people are a part of the larger group. To bring this back to video games, the only difference between gay and straight gamers is that the the former gets laid a lot. Instead of worrying so much about what they do, maybe straight gamers should worry a little more about what we don't do.

- GR

What the FAQ?
From: Lazaros -- <***>
Subject: A newbie's question

Hello! I joined GameRevolution today and I can't find my way around the site yet... I tried to check every possible page but I still don't understand, how can I post up reviews of games? =) And I'd really like to post a few reviews about some older games, which aren't present in your member review / review sections... Or isn't this possible? I don't know how to do it - I've put up reviews on other sites and I'd like to post up a few on GameRevolution too... So, please help me? And same question for the FAQs, how do I upload/post them!?

Dear Noob,

Reviewing games is easy: just go to the review page for the game you're interested in, scroll down to the report card, and click "Write a Review."

From there, most of our readers generally pick a descriptive phrase, such as "Oh my god, Zelda is the best game I've ever played." They then stylize it by adding acronyms, clever mispellings, random capitalizations, and at least a half-dozen exclamation points. The end result usually looks something like "ZOMG, Zedla is teh best gamez. Im Play0red!!!!!!" From there, a full-length review is merely a matter of one quick copy and about 700 paste commands.

To submit a FAQ, just scroll back up to the top and click the link that says "Submit a FAQ." But before you send it in, be sure and hide some cute little html tags deep within the text. Randomly formatting a sentence this way

11really KEEPS our%4% FAQ checker on his toes,

and is good for some laughs around the office.

Best of luck, and thanks for writing in!

- GR

The Sound of One Hand Fapping.
From: Richie Baker <*****>
Subject: You wise knowledge needed...

Is it true that 75% of geeks, nerds or as some people like to call them Gnerds (that's pronounced Ga-nerds) are virgins? My cousin read an article that said 75% of gamers die virgins or have had no sexual or intimate encounters with any female whatever-so-ever, but who's to say its a human being, and booth babes don't count.

I come to you guys because you seem to have excellent knowledge of geeks and nerds because of your excellent and non-commercial E3 coverage and from reading your GR mailbag. I am a geek but I have had encounters with a female human being no they didnt' look like your 12th century grandma, or your ex. My cousin and I would be grateful if you could answer this question for us, and probably for the whole world.

Dear Richie,

We're sad to be the ones to inform you that, alas, your "cousin" (is his name "Richie?" ) is retarded. The average gamer is in his or her thirties and has plenty of sex. With people, even.

As to whether or not 75% are virgins, we suspect the data is loaded since the other 25% were too busy jerking off to answer.

- GR

Technical Issues
From: Raymond Viola <*****>
Subject: worldcraft/half-life

Hi, I'm really hoping you guys can help me. To start at the beginning, I own Half-Life and used to enjoy making maps on Worldcraft. I upgraded to Windows xp, realised it would'nt work any more and gave up! I purchased Half-Life 2, with all the Steam online functions (including 'Half-Life source') and upon completing it, my thirst for Worldcrafting came back. I'm no further forward.

I've downloaded Worldcraft v3.3 from you guys and I tried following the tutorial, but I had to improvise with a couple of things. For example, the textures can't be found in my valve directory, so I tried installing the original Half-Life again and continued after Windows warned me it's not compatible, and this gave me access to the textures. However, when I compile, HL2 loads and the console opens saying it cant find the map.

So my querie is: can you help me create my own maps based on the Half-life engine? If not, can you recommend somewhere that can? Thanks for your time spent on this, Ray Viola.


Whoops! I'm too busy jerking off to answer your e-mail. Unless you are a girl person.

Thanks for writing in,

- GR

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