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FEATURED VOXPOP oblivion437
Old Before Their Time
By oblivion437
Posted on 04/13/15
Bloodborne's apparently successful launch (see note below) has yielded two interesting points, for me.  One is that it's being hailed as the PS4's savior (see note below) and the other is that it seems to have serious technical problems.  Conversations erupting around...

DAILY MANIFESTO

GR Mailbag: Feelings, Nothing More Than Feelings..

Posted on Wednesday, February 22 @ 19:00:00 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
2 + 2 = For Us To Poop On

From: Jeremy Preston <*****@comcast.net>
Subject: Goodies Section is Down EOM

1st off Love the site, but everything in the "goodies" section is down. Going thru withdrawl......... need game revolution to survive.... must check out "goodies". anyway just a little humor to pass on to the tech guys. Great site everybody

Jeremy Preston

PS: why are you guys still in beta? Design is good, everything is organized to have an asthetic appeal plus its functional. Not to mention the great content and writing. Still waiting for the TV commercials......

Dear Jeremy,

"why are you guys still in beta?"

"everything in the "goodies" section is down."

*sigh*

- GR

Devil May Cry Us A River

From: Ron Chinnic jr <*********@hotmail.com>
Subject: A comment for you guys.

Hi, I've been a fan of your guys site for a long time and I haven't been to it in years so I guess I"m making a comment but for the most part I am commenting on a review of Devil May Cry 3 that Zombie Duke made around March 2005. First, I want to comment how you say there is no checkpoints in the game. What are you talking about. Yes there is. Its called buying a yellow orb. Even gamespot says that is how you go to get the checkpoints. Yes, in mission 1 and 2 the yellow orbs don't make a difference but for the rest of the game, it does make a difference. Don't say that its bad level design. Though if your going to review the special edition you will probably be happy with the gold system. Now, the next one. The gay comment....Dude, how the hell, does he look gay just because he is not wearing a shirt and he has a trenchcoat over it while it has a gunstrap over it....yeah, that is what the strap is infront of his chest, a freakin gunstrap. Come'on man, piece it together. Its also obviously designed to have the strap on the way he has it on....Though, that scion guy does seem.....yeahhhhhh.

Now, I like your reviews your very on the mark when your reviewing them (Though the difficulty was a problem for a casual gamer but I don't expect someone like you who has played games for years that couldn't have adapted to the game that slow.) but I mean you were exaggerating a little too much on the Dante design. I also don't understand why you would subtract some points because of that. So, yeah, that is all I wanted to comment on, other than that keep up the good work.

Hey Ron,

If no shirt, a trench coat and a gun strap don't seem gay, you should see Dante when he's working out or hanging with his friends. And when he gets dolled up for a night out on the town, well, let's just say he puts the sass in assassin.

Besides, at the end of the day, we don't care if Dante wears a gun strap or a strap-on as long as his game is fun. His latest, unfortunately, sometimes forgets that in favor of being as hard as possible.

That sounded bad.

- GR

The Spanish Requisition

From: juan poodts <******@hotmail.com>
Subject: Is PS2 so fragile?

Hi there, first of all: sorry about my english (it sucks), im from argentina.
I own a PS2 and i enjoy it a lot, but it breaks too often, it always has a problem. I have already changed its laser once and "the plastic thing where you put the CDs" (i dont know its name). And 20 days ago it accidentally falled when it was in vertical, now when i put a game it says "Error reading the disk", is this problem very awfull?? i mean, will it cost a fortune to get it repaired like when i changed the laser? Oh, and the site is great, i have a good time reading the mailbag

Thanks for reading this,
Juanchop

Dear Juanchop,

In the United States, this wouldn't cost too much to fix, but we don't even know what kind of money you use in Argentina. Dried fruit? Marbles? If we were you we'd strap your PS2 and a large sum of dinero to one of your local wandering donkeys, preferably already filled with cocaine, and send it to Sony.

If that doesn't work, just send us the cocaine. And the donkey.

- GR

Don't Feed the Disc Drives!

From: wayne sanders <*****@comcast.net>
Subject: Second request...Need a replacement for disk one.

Hi:

My cd reader eat disk one of Age of Mythology. Can I get a replacement?. I am a registered user. I have the complete set with the case if you need it.

Thanks

Wayne Sanders

Dear Wayne,

How can you have the complete set if your CD reader ate disk one? Wait, how can your CD reader eat disk one? CD readers don't eat discs because they don't have teeth...unless they're donkeys in disguise. Do you live in Argentina?

GR

Register This

From: (No name) <*****@verizon.net>
Subject: When do you think your registration problems will be sraightened out?

what's up GR,
how long do you think it will be until your registration problems will be straightened out? i *love* your site, but if i could write reviews/grade games/blog about nothing like all the other members do, i would be *so* much happier.

Dear No Name,

We don't know what's going on with our registration system. The technology was sold to us by a very smart-looking ten year-old and he claims he's too busy running over hookers in Grand Theft Auto to help us figure out what went wrong.

In the meantime, ask yourself: Is this what you want to do? Or this? How about this? Do you really want people to read the stuff you write without even thinking?

Not that you'd be the first.

-GR

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