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Welcome Back to the West
By oneshotstop
Posted on 08/01/16
The only thing that stops the dust is the rain. It’s a sweet reprieve, but there is no middle ground. The land is either as dry as the Betty Ford clinic, or as wet as the ocean floor. Everything can be seen from the ridge overlooking Armadillo as John Marston gently bounces along atop...


GR Mailbag: Fire In The Mail's Here!

Posted on Monday, February 12 @ 12:13:14 PST by Duke_Ferris
Lost Sheep
From: "Paddy" (***
Subject: Crisis
I need help...
Recently, I have been sitting in my room bored. Unfortunately, 
my playstation just doesn't do it for me anymore. I tell myself 
that I just wait and buy one of the new systems, however, I don't 
even get excited about the idea. Am I growing out of video games? 
Because you guys are adults and still playing, I'm asking you for
advice. What kind of a world has a seventeen year-old reading the 
Wall Street Journal and neglecting to use his PSX? I need help!
Attention GR staff! We have a code red emergency! A gamer is beginning to stray from the flock!

Looks like its time to initiate The Mario Protocol: Epsilon Niner. Ben, I will prepare the air-tight Counter-Strike and Rune chambers if someone can stock them full of cases of Mountain Dew, Skor bars and Xbox articles.

Quick! Someone get rid of any recent Sega related news! We don't want to terrify the guy.

You'll be okay, Paddy. Just hang on. Whatever you do, don't go towards the light. Repeat. DO NOT GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT!


Ryu & Ken: Wanted Dead Or Alive
From: "Tom" (***
Subject: I need help
Hi, my name is Tom, and I have been going to you're site for 
quite a while. I have a question about fighting games, 
specifically X-Men: Mutant Academy. I have read move lists 
for several games, and did the same for this one, though not 
at your site, because I could not find one here. I have seen 
for this game and for many others a term that I do not 
understand and have not been able to figure out on my own, 
nor have I been able to get help with. It is a command called 
QCF and/or QCB. I know these stand for Quarter Circle 
Forward/Back, but I have no idea how to perform them, and 
more specifically, how to execute a move in a game 
successfully with them. I believe I have done some of these 
moves, but I did it only because it was part of a flurry of 
moves that was executed by pressing a series of buttons 
frantically with no idea which ones were pressed or in what 
order. (Real scientific approach, right?) I need some serious 
help because Wolvie here (the character I am using) is getting 
his butt handed to him by Mystique. This info would also be 
applied to a series of games that I have like Bio Freaks, 
Tekken 2 and Star Wars: Masters of Teras Kasi (I think). 
Thanks in advance,
Hey Tom,

Ahh... the old "Quarter-circle" moves. These have plagued gamers for years.

QCF is performed with one fluid motion by sliding your thumb from holding Down to diagonally Down-Forward to directly Forward. As soon as your thumb gets to the Forward position on the D-Pad, press the appropriate attack button.

For a QCB move, just substitute 'Forward' with 'Back.'

Many cheats or faqs are written with the QCF and QCB terminology, assuming that the reader is familiar with the Street Fighter games. This is where this whole cockamamie quarter-circle thing got started in the first place.

Blame Ryu and Ken! We do. Hadooken!


Final Fantasy & Louis Armstrong.
From: "Stewart" (***
Subject: final fanasy series reviews
Dear GR,
Being an ardent games fan it annoys me when you rate a
game such as FF7 and FF9 as B+ but you rate all the fifa 
series on the PS as A- i mean what is that about? Why do 
you think FF7 always pops up at 1 or 2 on all time great 
game lists. You call the story lines bad in the FF series 
but i think that you get into them you guys must be
against RPG's.
Dear Stewart,

We are the few, the proud, and the very hard to impress. We recognize a good game when we play one and indeed, the FF games are good PSX RPG's.

GR just feels that the mythos is a bit disjointed. First you've got this sci-fi theme, and then all of a sudden you're fighting a giant house using magic. Or a combination sword-gun. Then you race around on chickens. Huh?

Believe it or not, we don't have anything against RPGs. In fact, many of us have played RPG's for close to 20 years, dating back to the Bard's Tale games on the Apple II. Some of the best games we've ever played are RPGs.

Maybe we just don't get FF7. Maybe it's like trying to explain to your parents how Sisqo is a musical genius and could have taught Louis Armstrong a thing or two. Maybe.

We know how strongly everyone feels about FF7 and our less-impressed-than-everyone-else review. You should see what it's done to Baldric, the author. He just stares blankly at the wall all day, mumbling incohenrently about "fixin' me some Chocobo stew."

Poor guy.


Some Take It Harder Than Others.
From: "Fizban D Wizard" (***
Subject: So Very Sad
I just wanted to know if I'm the only person who wanted to 
breakdown and cry like a little bitch with a skinned knee 
when Sega announced they were going to stop Hardware 
Fizban D Wizard
Hello Fizban,

Maybe you were. We don't know.

But we do know that editor Brian Gee shackled himself to a post outside the Sega offices across the Bay screaming, at the top of his lungs, a sad, tear-soaked rendition of We Are The Champions.

The interesting thing is that he wasn't arrested for being a public nuisance. He was arrested for indecent exposure. We tried to tell him those Sonic underoos didn't fit....


Vikings Like Silencers!
From: Morphine (***
Subject: So we like to play CS?
After reading some of the previous mailbag letters and
responses, I noticed that GR seems to really like
Counter-Strike. I was wondering what servers you guys
play on, any particular servers? (I personally like
De_Dust because its the best map, not mentioning its
the fastest map my stinky, old, overdue PC can run) I
just thought it might be pretty interesting to see you
GR legends in action.
My name is Morphine(On CS, it will probably appear on
the left side of the headshot logo in the top right of
your monitor when I splatter your brains all over the
wall ;)), so if you ever see me, please say hi :).
What's up Morphine,

Yeah, you could say that GR has taken a shine to CS. That would explain the fact that it's the first thing we turn on in the morning and the last thing we turn off at the end of the day.

We play on a variety of servers, pretty much whatever pops up with a good ping and a cool map. However, we're sick of de_dust and we hate having our head shot, so you probably won't see Sal Magicpants around too often.

But if you do, we suggest wearing as much armor as you can. Or be prepared to say hello to my little friend.


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