As the holiday season is upon us I am reminded of Santa Claus making a list and checking it twice, because he knows who is naughty and who is nice. Santa’s a damn spy and I don’t want a plump, old dude of no relation to my children checking on them throughout the year. I’ll buy...
HomeManifesto GR Mailbag: First-Class Mail, Second Class Responses
GR Mailbag: First-Class Mail, Second Class Responses
Posted on Monday, May 13 @ 12:13:14 Eastern by Duke_Ferris
Subject: Beta Testing
First of all, did you publish my last email?
(Sharing an account sucks) Second of all, is it just me or do
game companys not beta test anymore? Every computer game I have
gotton recently is unplayable, and needs a hundred patches, and
still doesn't work after I get those patches. Like MOHAA. It worked
for about one hour and then frozen up. Tribes 2 is another. My
computer is praticly made to run Tribes 2, but it doesn't work.
And as a result of their horrible debugging companies can't
responed to all of their email. So they have two choices I
think. They should A) Fix the f*cking game before releasing it
and provide tech support or B) Give me my $50 and three days of
my life back. I just needed to get that off my chest.
Dear Unfortunate AOL Subscriber,
We understand your pain.
In fact, Ben wrote a whole rant
about this a few months ago. Companies do beta test their games, though.
That part hasn't stopped.
The real reason games are
released too early is that the publisher wants to start seeing some
revenue, even if the developer has not finished bug testing. We hate
it too, but there's not much we can do about it except holler and scream
and whine and never buy games again.
Wait, scratch that last part.
2Pac Has Left The Building
Date: Wed, 8 May 2002 20:24:18 EDT
Do you think 2Pac os still alive? I do.
From: "Chris Koranda"
Subject: Testing, testing . . .
Time for your annual check-up.
1.) Complete the following sentence:
"I'm a-gonna open a new can of _____."
B. Mountain Dew
2.) Do you still have nightmares? Do any of them
involve the Crow with spiky blond hair and a huge sword
voting you off the island?
3.) u guyz rool. do u still pretnd 90% of your lettrs
r from the dumest n most vocal 5% of your reeders. Do
you still have delusions that the intelligent readers
are the silent majority? Do you still speak with your
invisible friends? Or do you think you're too good for
4.) Which console most reminds you of your father?
(My console could beat up your console.)
Please allow 4-6 weeks for results of test.
And don't forget your meds.
- Nice white-coat man.
P.S. Why don't you have any cheats for Tron: Deadly Discs
on your cheat section? Those purple guys with the homing
discs are total bastards . . .
1.) The "I'm a-gonna"
part of the question is a dead giveaway that this was line was spoken
by Mario. Therefore, the answer is D.) Mushrooms!
2.) Yes. No.
3.) Is there actually a question
4.) The Vectrex, because
it drinks too much and flicks cigarettes at our heads and passes out.
Oh wait, OUR father?
Our New Best Friend
From: "DJ Lurker"
Subject: Consoles vs PC's
Dear GRev people.
Hi, I have been a long time visiter to your site, and have
used your game reviews to be the final word before purchasing
any games, I waswondering what your "profesional" opnion would
be on the question just about every gamer who hasent won the
lottery must ask themselves. Should I buy a PC or a Console?
As you can tell in reciving this email, I have chosen the PC
route, however there are times I wonder if I made the right
choice. I paid a little over $6000 for my computer to have
it decked out with all the best in gaming equipment, surround
sound speakers and such. But even with all this tech-gear
right infront of me, I still lay awake at night and wonder
if I made the right choice. I could have gotten an X-Box,
PS2, Gamecube, and a few dozen games for each system, but
with my computer, I have access to many of the best games,
including multiplayer ones, Diablo 2, and its expansion,
Command and Conquer Red Alert 2, and expansion, and good
FPS games Counterstrike being my personal favorite, yet even
with all of the multiplayer abilities of a PC gaming rig, the
Consoles still get their foot in the door, with games like
Halo, GTA3, Final Fantasy X, Resident Evil. They make a
powerful impact on just about every gamers imagination....
There is no way for most gamers to own every system, and a
PC, so they must all decide which to buy, but what is this
to be based on, Price?, Games?, Muliplayer?, there are so many
things to consider when making the choice. Sony, Nintendo,
Microsoft, should all give a gift card wishing you well with
your therapy, upon purchase of their respective systems, due to
the massive brain tramma that is sure to follow the undertaking
of a console purchase.
But in the end, if every gamer looks within themselves and
looks at the system they decided upon, there will be some doubt
in their minds that they made the wrong desision.
So its falls upon you GRev staff to hear our cries of wonder
and stress. What Should We Pick?!?!?!?!?!?
Well, you've sort of answered
your own question. You've dropped 6 grand on decking out
your PC? That's a LOT of money, man. That's more money than anyone here
at GR has spent on a rig. Next time you go shopping, can you pick us
up some new MP3 players or something?
For about $5,600less, you can get an Xbox, an extra controller and a copy
of Halo, or a PS2 with a memory card and a copy of GTA 3.
Sounds like a bargain to us.
However, we're big, big PC
gaming fans here at GR. The ease of multiplayer coupled with the often
times more intricate, complex gameplay keeps us coming back. Still,
as consoles get more and more powerful, they begin to resemble PCs.
It really boils down to the
kinds of games you enjoy and the amount of money you're willing to spend.
It seems that most gamers have one console as well as a PC, and that's
the route we'd recommend. :)